Tag Archives: #warning

“Strictly no poetry in this area – thank you”

There is an area over ‘there!’

if you really have to recite poetry,

or you could just refrain,

apply a poetry patch,

try and give it up,

read a book,

chew on some gum,

make your mind go numb.


You might find

someone of a like mind,

over ‘there!’

So, please honour the signs,

and decline the proffering of rhymes.


Or we shall be operating

a ‘No Poet’ system

in your vicinity.

The Way of the Triffids

It is the way of the Triffids

to sneak up upon you

and catch you unawares;

and before you even know it,

you’ve been deaded,

and your body becomes theirs.

“Beware of the Triffid!”

A sign

I saw

one day

whilst out

last May

did warn

me to…

“Beware of the Triffid!”

Well, no Bill Masen, me,

you’d have to agree

if you saw my spindly frame;

and I have no weapons

to stun, or maim,

or kill;

and no will to do so,

no predatory skill,

but I can run away,

and have eyes that see.


I saw the sign,

and ran,

can you now see me?

Urgent Poetry Recall Notice

The poems in question

may (or may not)

contain trace amounts of Metaphorium,

Similents, and Allegoria,

all of which may (or may not)

prove harmful (or beneficial)

to a state of health

if ingested in large enough quantities.

If you have (or have not)

in the past (present, or future)

purchased, purloined, or merely speed-read

any poetry that has contained

any of the above elements

please return the words

(with proof of purchase – or a letter from a nun)

to whence you bought, thieved, happened upon them.

Refunds will be allocated at sixpence in the pound (less fees) per annum.

Termites and Conditioners may apply.

(or they may not).

“Mind your head”

‘Mind your head!’

said Fred;

and then he didn’t,

and he was dead.

Barbecue in Bed

NEVER have a barbecue in bed;

it will leave you frazzled,

scorched, exhausted, dazzled…

and dead.

“Low-Flying Geese!”

“Low-Flying Geese!”

“Beware Low-Flying Geese!”

the sign read;

and then there was the small print;

“Or you’ll have the Low-Flying Geese Police to deal with!”

This sounded like a warning, and a threat; and I don’t appreciate warnings, or threats.

That was when it hit me.

Approaching Dusks! A Warning!


A Word of Warning When Approaching Dusks!

No, not a misprint (Although ‘Ducks’ should also be approached carefully); this is about that time of day when the evening is almost upon you (or, depending on the season, has been and arrived already) and the sun is gently setting in the West (as it does – if yours doesn’t please seek advice).

I am talking about the dusky twilight time of the day – the time when the chilled white wine can be opened and appetising canapés served with a degree of decorum (or, if preferred, a can of lager, four straws, and a bag of crisps may fit the bill – other options are available to suit differing tastes).

However, and here is the word of warning… ‘beware’ or ‘Beware’ or maybe even ‘Beware!’ Or if deemed absolutely necessary ‘BEWARE!!!!’
(Although to go to that extreme is not normally required in polite society).

Beware the Jabberwock!
Beware the dog / cat / children, ducks, etc.
Beware the Ides of March
Beware the Bee

But, most of all beware the dusk.

“Why?” You may ask.
And ask you may.
But, if you think I have an answer to ‘that’ question…

… then you obviously don’t know me well enough.


State of the Nation


State Of The Nation

My eye is caught by the glittering shards from a vandalised bus stop; and victimised walls where graffiti disciples have left their calling cards –

Tag! You’re it!”

Last night’s take-aways adorn pavements; castaway chips lay marooned upon the shore; trashed up litter bins lay supine, resting upon the unholy mess of ground with their contents spewn around them.

By the lake there is a sign “No Fishing!” There is also a sign that the ‘young people’ have been there, too!

A shopping-trolley seeks absolution (it has found a solution) for leaving the realm of its use – and kneels, upended in the shallows; and, around the lake three haloes drift; life-preservers cast into the waters; not to save a drowning soul but to slate the thirst for warped humour that the ‘young people’ are cursed with.

Note to Visitors

If you do have cause to fall into the ornamental lake, please could you take care to fall near to a life-preserver and save yourself it would be much appreciated – thank you

The Council.