Tag Archives: #Vegan

Replacement Egg Service

Replacement Egg Service

Announcement: Would all passengers be aware that there is an ongoing replacement egg service between Penzance and Paddington; all onboard sandwiches that hithertofore before now were comprised of egg in any combination with cress, mayonnaise, salad cream, coleslaw, limp lettuce or thinly sliced carrot will be affected by this development. Could all travellers please be reminded that purchasers of any of our “egg” combination sandwiches will still be required to eat their purchases in Carriage E, where the air conditioning is currently working at a staggering 75% efficiency level. Thank you for listening, and please enjoy your journey.

My Vegan Poem

My Vegan Poem

My Vegan Poem

contains no owls

or cormorants;

but, it does contain vowels

and consonants –

it would look rather silly

with owls and cormorants in,

wouldn’t it?

“Veg an’ Two Veg, please?”

“Veg an’ Two Veg, please?”

When there is one last fish in an ocean,

One last cow in a field;

will the people then have a notion,

that the cost was worth more than the yield.

When there are no more Dodos in Tesco;

when a shamb shank is all that they sell;

when your mixed-up grill,

is just a mixed-up girl,

packing your biscuits in twos –

Singing:

‘and the animals went

in two-by-twos…

… and there were none of them left in the morning’.

My Vegan Couplet (because Haikus are ‘so’ long-winded).

My Vegan Couplet (because Haikus are ‘so’ long-winded).

For plant-based food, that hits the spot,

try Kind in Looe, you’ll like what they’ve got.

Nooch – Another Vegan Haiku (because people seem to like them).

Nooch – Another Vegan Haiku (because people seem to like them).

Nooch

Nutritional yeast,

it’s a beast of many horns –

no, only joking.

We received our Vegan Call-up.

We received our Vegan Call-up.

We received our Vegan wake-up

call in the post just yesterday;

now we use Vegan soap and Vegan make up

all the day;

our food habits have drastically changed,

our ideals have been totally rearranged;

we are not the people that once we were;

we don’t eat animals, we don’t wear fur,

our shoes are made of recycled plants;

and we don’t talk about it,

if given half a chance.

An Introduction to the House Of Green

An Introduction to the House Of Green

“As this is the House of Green,

please could you keep your poetry

a trifle clean,

for the word of the obscene is best left unseen;

or best left unheard –

if you know what I mean;

perhaps you could, please, rephrase the vulgar tongue

in any fine poem that you have brung-“

‘What The Fibre!’ I hear you cry.

‘You ought to have said ‘brought’,

you… silly guy.’

“And, at that, we shall begin,

with all the curses to the bin.”