Tag Archives: #Ukulele

“Roast Concert Ukulele with Rosemary Parmentier Potatoes, Rainbow Carrots, and a Mixture of Winter Greens. “

“Roast Concert Ukulele with Rosemary Parmentier Potatoes, Rainbow Carrots, and a Mixture of Winter Greens.”

“Please can you tell me what there is upon the menu?” asked Paddington, politely.

“Well…” said the maître d’, “We have a selection of dishes for a delectation of tastes…” he awaited a few moments, to build the suspense. “But, our ‘piece de resistance’ is the ‘Chef’s Special’, which is ‘Roast Concert Ukulele with Rosemary Parmentier Potatoes, Rainbow Carrots, and a Mixture of Winter Greens.’ the maître d’ stood back and awaited an order of the ‘Chef’s Special’ to be received.

“Ummm.” considered Paddington; and polite as ever, he spoke, “Very nice, as I expect that is… have you got anything with… marmalade in it… on it… or very near to it?”

The maître d’ was slightly taken aback. Actually, he was ‘very’ taken aback; but, before he could conjure up a response…

“No? Oh, well don’t worry, I will have the Chef’s Special. I brought along a couple of jars of my latest home-brewed marmalade just in case the chef had forgotten it.”

The Chef’s ‘even more’ Special was a great success – and, luckily, Paddington had brought enough marmalade to go round.

–//–

#6 in a series of 10 from the book, ‘Ten Creative Ways to ‘Literally’ Cook Your Ukulele.’

“Half-Baked Ukulele in a Red Wine Jus.”

“Half-Baked Ukulele in a Red Wine Jus.

The idea was simple. In fact, it was almost too simple for Alice to understand. If she drank from the bottle marked ‘Drink Me!’ she would shrink to a height of ten inches or so; if she then ate of the cake that was labelled ‘Eat Me!’ she would grow to fill all of the available (and some of the unavailable) space in the room.

However, there now appeared to be a third option. This was in the form of the arrival, as if by magic, of a small four-stringed instrument that made a strange ‘thrrrrrrrinnnng!’ sound when Alice ran her fingers across the strings. This instrument had a label attached to it with the words ‘Cook Me!’ written upon it.

And so Alice did.

Forty-five minutes later, Alice had concocted a dish that she liked to call ‘Half-Baked Ukulele in a Red Wine Jus’.

The taste was rather curious, decided Alice.

–//–

#5 in a series of 10, comically called, ‘Ten Creative Ways to ‘Literally’ Cook Your Ukulele.’

“Pan-Fried Ukulele in a Sweet Teriyaki Sauce.”

“Pan-Fried Ukulele in a Sweet Teriyaki Sauce.”

Thomas Hardy wrote novels,

then he turned to writing poetry;

who knew that he

was also a chef (Cordon Bleu)

who started quite timidly;

but stayed the course;

his signature dish being:

“Pan-Fried Ukulele in a Sweet-Teriyaki Sauce.”

–//–

#2 in a series of 10 entitled, ‘Ten (10) Creative Ways To ‘Literally’ Cook Your Ukulele.’

“Deep-Fried Ukulele in a Light Tempura Batter.”

“Deep-Fried Ukulele in a Light Tempura Batter.”

A long time ago,

A young George Orwell was thought to have said

(and this was when he was younger,

before he was dead)

‘Four strings good;

Six strings better!’

and then he deep-fried a ukulele

In a light tempura batter

–//–

#1 in a series of 10 entitled, ‘Ten (10) Creative Ways To ‘Literally’ Cook Your Ukulele.’

Ukuleleless?

Ukuleleless?

I bought a ukulele

I really don’t know why

I have to play it daily

Though it makes the people cry

And even though I practice

I am not really any good

I may have to give it up

The people wish I would.

Although the tunes are cheery

The strumming winds them up

And songs about the prairie

Are not everybody’s cup

Of tea.