Tag Archives: story

Jack the Fruit

Jack the Fruit

Jack was a fruit.

Not a specific fruit,

like an Orange, Apple, or Pear;

or a rare fruit,

such as a Physalis, Durian

or the Mighty Horned Cucumber;

he wasn’t even a Tomato – which is a fruit.

Jack was ‘all’ fruits,

though not all at once,

for that would certainly be a fruit cocktail to confuse.

One Monday, last month Jack had been a Lemon. The next day he was a Gooseberry; and this caused some confusion, I can tell you (largely because it is I who am writing this story).

Jack the Lemon had a lovely chat with Sally Strawberry on the Monday; when he met Sally on Tuesday, she didn’t recognise him – for he was now Jack the Gooseberry. This caused problems for Jack and a little embarrassment all around.

Sometimes, when Jack was particularly nervous, he would change fruits ‘during’ the day – and occasionally more than once. Mid-conversation with Bella Banana had been the worst, Jack had transformed into a Banana, and Bella had fallen for the unexpected stranger in her life, although she secretly preferred Jack the Plum, but he had seemingly left the building – a Shoe Shop – and was never heard of again.

Finally, Jack was found close to tears, having lost the affections of Bella Banana, Cindy Cherry, and Polly Peach all within a week – none of them were up for short-term relationships and a second date was never to be forthcoming.

Archie Apple saw a Lime in a corner that seemed to be crying and almost sobbing in despair.

“What is wrong, Friend Lime?” asked Archie.

Between sobs and tears, Jack the Lime answered, “I keep on changing from fruit to fruit, and I can’t keep a steady relationship. One day I’m a Greengage Plum, the next day I’m a Mango!”

The tears fell down Jack’s face and started pooling around him, creating himself as his own island.

“Listen… I didn’t catch your name?” said Archie.

“Jack.” said the woeful Lime.

“Listen, Jack; all I can say is be yourself, and perhaps wear this T-Shirt that I fortuitously found just over there.” he pointed. “It looks about your size.”

Archie handed the T-Shirt to Jack.

“It’s actually a magical T-Shirt that stops the wearer from transmogrifying into a different species, be it animal, mineral or vegetable. Or fruit.” Archie smiled benignly. “Actually, Jack, I am your fairy godmother – I knitted you that T-Shirt myself.”

Jack popped the T-Shirt on and went to look at himself in a nearby mirror.

“Do I have to wear this always?” queried Jack.

“If you wear it three days running, it will be upon you forever, and you will stay as that fruit until the end of fruit days. So, this means that you can choose which fruit you’d like to be.” Archie disappeared in a puff of smoke – as fairy godmothers tend to do.

“Archie had stopped crying. He knew which fruit he would like to be. And all he had to do was put his magical T-Shirt on the next time that he became that fruit.

It couldn’t be that long before he was a lemon again, could it.

And Sally Strawberry might still be waiting for him.


Saladin and his mother

Saladin and his mother

He sat staring at his plate of boiled spinach, sliced and diced legumes, and three pale shades of cabbage, when Mother came into the room,

“If you don’t eat up your greens, you’ll never grow up to be Saladin, Sultana of Egypt!”

ad-Din sighed; Mother always made him eat up his greens; he didn’t want to, though, in his heart, he knew that he would thank her one day.

“Thanks, Chuck!”

“Thanks, Chuck!”

We thank you for the air we breathe;

we thank you for the water that we drink;

all the food that we receive;

and for having the mind with which to think.

We thank you for the story

of a man disdaining glory,

who died for our sins;

that’s where a story begins.

Boxing Day 2018 #21 (20:00)

Boxing Day 2018 #21 (20:00)

Eight o’clock

After Eights?


Another drink?

Or crash out in front of the cardboard box

(the one that Boxing Day

is named after)

Anyway, start with the After Eights

and we’ll take it from there.

A Boxing-Day Story (Part 1) – Boxing Day 2018 #14 (13:00)

A Boxing Day Story (Part 1) – Boxing Day 2018 #14 (13:00)

The Afternoon of the 26th was remarkable for one particular thing. Which was, that when one o’clock’s solitary chime had just about faded into the past, there was a curt knocking upon the front door of the mansion.. Not that we lived in the mansion, we were just passing by and by some strange trick of the acoustics, we heard the knocking from the mansion’s orchard where we were ‘borrowing’ apples.

As it sounded like a knock of desperation, we curtailed our apple-based activities and went to have a look-see.

The ‘knocking’ was coming from the ‘outside’ of the monumental front door – and it was a surprise to us that nobody inside had answered it’s call. Perhaps there ‘was’ nobody inside.

If that was the case, why did the knocker keep knocking?

We approached as closely as we could to the mansion’s entrance and looked across at a man who in-between knocking furiously at the door and cursing at the lack of response, was balancing an old and shoddy top-hat upon the crown of his head. Quite a sight, he was.

We watched from the rear of the hawthorn hedge and considered the occurrence.

The ‘we’ that I allude to are: myself, Robin Banks (real name Robert ‘Robbie’ Bankscombe, and my partner in crime was Tom (real name Thomasina) Boycott – but, never, repeat never, call her ‘Tomboy’ even though she was all of one and more.


Archived? ‘Farewell, April!’

‘Farewell, April!’

In the late 21st Century April fell out of use. It was renamed Shower.

Soon after, all of the months were renamed to suit their most apt tempers.

Thus we ended up with Ice, Snow, Hail, Heat, Wind and the rest.

Strangely enough, the months acclimatised themselves to the new names and for a month at a time everybody knew exactly what the weather would be.


Herbert the Turbot

Herbert the Turbot

Herbert the Turbot

was very, very sad;

because he had never ever

been a character in a poem

or a story

until, one day…