Tag Archives: #StIves

Daylight Robbery – a song

As I was walking to St. Ives,

I met a man who sharpened knives,

he sharpened all my knives for me,

and then he charged me 50p

50p, 50p,

the crook he charged me 50p,

that was daylight robbery,

back in seventeen ninety-three.

(It was actually ten shillings,

but there may be some youngsters in the audience,

so I have metricated the sum involved)

50p, 50p,

the scoundrel charged me 50p.

As I was walking to St. Ives…

As I was walking to St. Ives…

(As there was a very recent earthquake of 0.9 magnitude recorded near there).

As I was walking to St. Ives,

I counted up my remaining lives;

(from the original nine,

six were left;

of three of them,

I was bereft?

then the ground shook,

the earth moved;

you could tell by my look

that I never approved;

I met a man

with his entourage;

he had a plan

and he spoke it large,

“We’re leaving town,

it might fall down;

I normally smile;

but, look at this frown!”

I turned, and joined

his motley crew;

“We are going to Redruth.”

were words he said,

“Woo-hoo!” I replied.

But, secretly, I cringed a little bit inside.

As I was going to…

As I was going to…

As I was going to St. Ives

I met a man who picked up leaves;

he picked up nine and seven more,

he then dropped four,

and picked up five;

with how many leaves did I arrive?

Saintly Places (In Cornwall)

Saintly Places (In Cornwall)

As I was going to St. Ives

I met a cat

with seven lives…


As I was going to St. Ives

(Pronounced ‘Eves’)

I met a man

who tried to sell me fallen leaves.

I told him that I

Would just not buy

his sob story

and so he left me high

and dry-eyed.

As I was


to St. Just,

I had to go there

had to


have been about half way there, when

I remembered

I’d been there before;

so, I just didn’t go there once again.

As I was going to St. Mawes

I swotted up on local laws

And found that I

should wear a tie

if ever I should sing a lullaby…

upon a tandem;

that law to me seemed quite random.

As I was going to St. Austell

or as locals say ‘Off to Stozzke!’

for a nozzle for my can

because I am a watering man,

It rained upon my open plan.

As I was going to St. Aggie’s

I met an abrupt lack of a rhyme…

that sort of thing

happens to me

from time to time.

I didn’t bother with St. Erth

and their dubious tale

of a Virgin Berth;

I didn’t even have a boat –

so needed nowhere for it to float.

Saintly places still I have to visit

St. Pinnock

St. Neots, is it?

St. Teath

St. Wenn

and all the rest

I’ll go to them all one day

and maybe I will wear a vest.

Cornish Limerick #4

Cornish Limerick #4

There once was a man from St. Ives

Who was said to have had too many wives;

He said “Don’t be daft!

“How many is too many?” he laughed.

So we shall leave them to get on with their lives.

As I Was Going To St. Eve’s…


As I was going to St. Eve’s
I met a man
It was St. Eve
We’d got our wires crossed and each was going to the other’s place.
It was lucky we met…
Otherwise I’d have got to his
And he’d have got to mine
And we’d both have been out!
And if we’d then cussed a bit for a while and then started walking back…
What if we’d met then
As I was walking from St. Eve’s
And St. Eve was walking back from mine?

And what if we had missed each other on the way back
As well as on the way out?

What then?