Tag Archives: #spoof

#dialogueforaplay 76

DCI: It’s my opinion that the ‘perpetrator’ was known to the ‘victim’.

PC: They were married, sir.

DCI: Precisely!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 77

DCI: Constable, I want you to round up the witnesses and have them all gathered in the… here… In ten minutes.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 78

DCI: I shall now round up the ‘stiff’ and the ‘murderer’ and then we shall have one of those ‘Poirot-like’ reveals.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 79

The police leave in opposite directions. Then recross the room, leave again. The ‘stiff’ returns, resumes place.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 80

Nothing happens for a few minutes. Apart from the ‘stiff’ trying to get comfy. The phone rings. Nobody answers it.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 81

Phone stops. Dr P enters, answers the unringing phone.

Dr P: Hello… Yes… 14 ounces in a pound, no. 16! Bye!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 82

Dr P: Are you still dead?

Stiff: Me?

De P: Nobody else here.

Stiff: Dead as a Do.

Dr P: Dodo?

Stiff: Not that dead!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 83

Dr P: So, there is no victim.

Stiff: I’m teaching them a lesson.

Dr P: ‘Them’ are my family!

Dr P shoots the stiff.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 84

Dr P leaves. The Police et al return (not Dr P).

DCI: Hello, hello, hello…

Omnes: Hello!

DCI: I heard a gunshot!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 85

PC: I can see those months at Detective School weren’t wasted.

Dr 1: The dead man!

Omnes: What?

Dr1: He’s… dead!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 86

Dramatic Chords

Dr 1: No, he’s really dead. Before, he was only pretentious!

Stiff: Pretending!

Dr 1: Pretending.

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 87

DCI: So, he’s ‘really’ dead?

Dr 1: Really! I should know – I am a doctor!

Dr P enters.

Dr P: No, that is not true!

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 88

DCI: Not a doctor?

PC: Not ‘dead?’

Dr 1: Yes, I am not a ‘dead’ doctor.

Dr P: Nor a ‘doctor!’

Dr1: What about Nora?

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 89

DCI: It seems a murder ‘may’ or ‘may not’ have occurred, I shall go to any lengths.

Dr1: Are you paid by the yard?

Tbc

#dialogueforaplay 90

Dr P: What about my ‘impersonating a doctor’ accusation?

DCI: I take that most seriously. Constable, arrest him!

Tbc