Not my socks, nor my feet.

‘The End Of Socks’

You put

your foot

(either foot will do at this stage)

In one end

of one sock

(it’s easy to work out which end to choose –

making sure that the sock is not inside out,

or outside in;

and you are not already

wearing your shoes.

Insert your feet as far as they will go;

making sure that you stop

when the end

hits your toes.

The rest of the sock must be pulled back tautly;

until a smooth and attractive coating of the foot is achieved –

there is nothing quite as unattractive as a crinkled sock.

The sock top

‘May’ be turned over

if that is your thing;

but, please be remembering,

that smugness at your style

when the sock is hidden,

is a thing that is largely forbidden.

Repeat the exercise above

for the second sock,

unless you are truly avant-garde,

or you’ve had to lay down

after these exertions.

Regard your symmetry in a mirror

to check if all is well;

if there is a mismatch

it won’t be difficult to tell;

but, be careful if you have chosen different socks,

some family members will shun you,

and change all the locks;

Michael Rosen might even craft a poem about your singular feat (and that’s ‘feat’ with an ‘a’).

However, if all looks well,

your task is complete…

…as is this.