Tag Archives: #silly

I thought I saw a polar bear

I was paranoid

about a polar bear,

I took a Polaroid

but he wasn’t there,

he broke my camera,

I was quite annoyed,

and I was taken into care.

Once, I was a dinosaur,

then I was petrified,

I couldn’t bear

to have you by my side,

I was afraid,

then, of a meteor,

I thought it laughed,

I could not be sure.

And now, The Chorus:

All those things

happened in the past,

when I was younger,

and we had a blast.

All those things

happened long ago,

when I was a dinosaur,

and a cameraman…

traipsing in the snow.

Cornish Panties (misprint?)

I fill my Cornish Panties

with carrots and with swede:

I pop in cooked green lentils,

as Vegan is my creed;

add potatoes and some seasoning;

to give the zest I need,

I love these Cornish Panties,

I am a fool indeed.

Bird Song

I was sat in the garden,

listening to the bird song

‘with a little bit of this,

and a little bit of that…’

it was going to be

one of those mornings.

Fervour – a (love?) song.

I’ll be yours…


on these shores…


on all fours…


and a day.

Hairy McClary’s Travels

Not many people (one, if you include my self) know that Hairy McClary was written by a tall man who travelled between Glasgow and Berwick, Krannock Muir, Aberdeen, and Galbraith, with the occasional visits to Aberystwyth, Belfast, Bangalore, and Dublin – just like the travels of my Scottish accent. Although it may be a Scott’s Accent, or even a Scotch accent – but, as I don’t drink Scotch (Whiskey or otherwise) I cannae say.

Hairy McClary was born in Glasgow, hence he ‘has’ to have a Scotttiche accent; there is a Glasgow in Kentucky, America, but, my accent for that ancestry would cause Hairy McClary to travel the world in minutes, never mind eighty days.

No, truthfully, the Hairy McClary stories were written by a New Zealander, named Dame Lynley Dodd – although, what her parents were thinking when they called her ‘Dame’, I do not know; luckily she actually became a ‘Dame’ in 2009 and is now known as Dame Dame Lynley Dodd, what are the odds on that happening?

“Take me, I’m Yuri’s.”

“Take me, I’m Yuri’s.

“No, take me, I’m Yuri’s!”

“No, take us, I’m Yuri’s, and so is my wife!’

(and on it went, because dreams are made of things like this).

Daylight Robbery – a song

As I was walking to St. Ives,

I met a man who sharpened knives,

he sharpened all my knives for me,

and then he charged me 50p

50p, 50p,

the crook he charged me 50p,

that was daylight robbery,

back in seventeen ninety-three.

(It was actually ten shillings,

but there may be some youngsters in the audience,

so I have metricated the sum involved)

50p, 50p,

the scoundrel charged me 50p.