Tag Archives: @Shakespeare

Punctilious

I am nothing if not punctilious –

therefore, I am nothing.

and ‘nothing will come from nothing.’

As King Lear said.

Which William Shakespeare wrote.

That I wrote,

and you have just read.

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The Ghost at the Banquet (I am)

I am the ghost

at the banquet.

Banquo?

No, that was another ghost

at another banquet –

I am not him,

and he is not me.

Do you see?

He was there due to his death

at the hands of MacBeth.

I was not

killed by an ambitious Scot;

but, by a jealous yak

from ancient Tibet.

Why I should be at this particular banquet

Is a mystery yet.

The Great British Bake Off 1598.

Paulus Holyword: Taketh these ingredients

and maketh of them a cake;

for I would eateth of such a thing

And when I say ‘cake’

I mean ‘cake’

no alternatives shall be acceptable;

If thou breakest the spirit

of my challenge

I shall be most displeaseth –

in fact, I shall have thy guts and thy garters for breakfast.

Hail Mary!

The Bear and The Bard (again).

The bear in the The Bear Inn Public House

supped his beer;

seemingly, without a care.

The Bard watched the bear

and to a Summer’s day

did he compare the bear;

before deciding that the bear

was beyond compare;

or, at the least,

beyond comparing to a day in Summer;

sparing us all a sonnet

that had the imprint of a bear’s

paws writ large upon it.

Bardolatry!

Don’t be affear’d;

my Bard is worse than my bite;

from first night to twelfth,

and beyond

a pond of flesh?

Pray, tarry not-

“Who writes this rot?”

I cans’t not tell

If all is well

that endeth such –

It is all too much a do.

Let loose the dogs

of Waterloo,

and if you

are waiting,

nothing will come.

”Cardenio!”

Oh, Cardenio,

where did you go, my friend

if you ever existed at all.

How I would love to spend

time with you,

pouring over your words and

learning from all the things you have to say.

Monologue, Duologue, and Trialogue. A Liskeard Writers Group prompt.

Monologue, Duologue, and Trialogue.

SD Monologue and Dialogue are somewhere in Scotland. The weather is a bit grim, as usual.

Mon: Is this a dagger that I see before me?

Duo: Hey, MackyBee, I can’t see any dagger; are you sure that you can see one?

SD Enter Trialogue.

Tria: Mon Dieu! Hey, you two, What’s going on here? I thought that we were all meeting at The Heath for a pint when all the hurly-burly was good and done!

Mon: The handle toward my hand…

Duo: Listen, Mac, I really don’t see any daggers. (to Tria:) I think he’s been on the funny-juice again?

Tria: Well, He won’t be winning or losing any battles if he’s carrying on like this, will he? Lay on MacBeth – and lay off the funny-juice!

Mon: Come, let me clutch thee!

Duo: Steady on, old chum; I know your missus has been driving you hard lately; but, that’s no reason to look Elsinore-where for your home comforts.

Tria: Funny, hahahahamlet! Well, I don’t know about you two idiots – I really don’t – but, I’m off out on the dusty road to The Heath for a quick Bloody Mary and a packet of Queen Elizabeth Potato Crisps, before they close.

Duo: Ooh, that sounds like a plan. (to Mon): Are you coming, Beth?

Mon: Thou marshall’st me the way that I was going.

Tria: Aye. That we are. You’re both welcome to join me; although, I’m not sure if they’ll be too happy about letting us in if we’re carrying any of those imaginary daggers, like.

Duo: Oh, it’s just Mack the Knife there; he may have been bitten by a shark.

Tria: Really?

Duo: No. It’s from a song. Let’s get going. (To MacBeth) Last one there buys the first round!

SD Duo and Tria leave for The Heath.

Mon: I see thee not…

Tria (offstage): That’s because we’re way off to the pub, pet!

Duo: (offstage): We’ll put it on your tab! Don’t be long, the bell for last orders will soon be ringing, and Duncan the Landlord is a stickler for ‘time-keeping’.

Tria: (Now with Duo Centre Stage, to Duo): The chances of him buying a round are as likely as Birnam Wood moving to Dunsinane. (to Mon): Tight-wad!

Duo: (to Mon): If we don’t see you at The Heath, we’ll see you tomorrow.

Mon (now he is offstage): And tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Tria (to Duo): You’re right, he’s certainly one witch short of a coven. Come on let’s get a wiggle on and we might just catch the karaoke.

Duo: On, no; I’m not partnering you on ‘Summer Nights’ again.

Tria: But, you make a wonderful Sandy.

Duo: Oh, really?

Tria: Actually, I reckon Maccy B would make an even better Sandy. (Mimics MacBeth) I’ve got daggers… they are multiplying…

Duo (also mimics MacBeth): And I’m losing control!

Tria: That just about sums up his situation.

Duo: Anyway, let us do karaoke first and have a drink after.

Tria: Aye! For alcohol, it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.

Duo: And there’s nothing worse than a witch belting out Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’ when she’s had a few double-troubles!

Tria: Fair’s fair; but may I remind you of that time that you and Macbeth sang Status Quo’s ‘In The Army Now’?

Duo: Oh, yes, Status Quo, I remember; it should have been banned?

Tria: Ban Quo? Surely not!

Exit Stage Left pursued by a tragic ending.

Duo and Tria (singing, if it could be called that): Those Summer Ni-iiiights!’

Audience Member: Tell me more, tell me more…