Don’t be affear’d;
my Bard is worse than my bite;
from first night to twelfth,
and beyond
a pond of flesh?
Pray, tarry not-
“Who writes this rot?”
I cans’t not tell
If all is well
that endeth such –
It is all too much a do.
Let loose the dogs
of Waterloo,
and if you
are waiting,
nothing will come.
Oh, Cardenio,
where did you go, my friend
if you ever existed at all.
How I would love to spend
time with you,
pouring over your words and
learning from all the things you have to say.
Monologue, Duologue, and Trialogue.
SD Monologue and Dialogue are somewhere in Scotland. The weather is a bit grim, as usual.
Mon: Is this a dagger that I see before me?
Duo: Hey, MackyBee, I can’t see any dagger; are you sure that you can see one?
SD Enter Trialogue.
Tria: Mon Dieu! Hey, you two, What’s going on here? I thought that we were all meeting at The Heath for a pint when all the hurly-burly was good and done!
Mon: The handle toward my hand…
Duo: Listen, Mac, I really don’t see any daggers. (to Tria:) I think he’s been on the funny-juice again?
Tria: Well, He won’t be winning or losing any battles if he’s carrying on like this, will he? Lay on MacBeth – and lay off the funny-juice!
Mon: Come, let me clutch thee!
Duo: Steady on, old chum; I know your missus has been driving you hard lately; but, that’s no reason to look Elsinore-where for your home comforts.
Tria: Funny, hahahahamlet! Well, I don’t know about you two idiots – I really don’t – but, I’m off out on the dusty road to The Heath for a quick Bloody Mary and a packet of Queen Elizabeth Potato Crisps, before they close.
Duo: Ooh, that sounds like a plan. (to Mon): Are you coming, Beth?
Mon: Thou marshall’st me the way that I was going.
Tria: Aye. That we are. You’re both welcome to join me; although, I’m not sure if they’ll be too happy about letting us in if we’re carrying any of those imaginary daggers, like.
Duo: Oh, it’s just Mack the Knife there; he may have been bitten by a shark.
Tria: Really?
Duo: No. It’s from a song. Let’s get going. (To MacBeth) Last one there buys the first round!
SD Duo and Tria leave for The Heath.
Mon: I see thee not…
Tria (offstage): That’s because we’re way off to the pub, pet!
Duo: (offstage): We’ll put it on your tab! Don’t be long, the bell for last orders will soon be ringing, and Duncan the Landlord is a stickler for ‘time-keeping’.
Tria: (Now with Duo Centre Stage, to Duo): The chances of him buying a round are as likely as Birnam Wood moving to Dunsinane. (to Mon): Tight-wad!
Duo: (to Mon): If we don’t see you at The Heath, we’ll see you tomorrow.
Mon (now he is offstage): And tomorrow, and tomorrow.
Tria (to Duo): You’re right, he’s certainly one witch short of a coven. Come on let’s get a wiggle on and we might just catch the karaoke.
Duo: On, no; I’m not partnering you on ‘Summer Nights’ again.
Tria: But, you make a wonderful Sandy.
Duo: Oh, really?
Tria: Actually, I reckon Maccy B would make an even better Sandy. (Mimics MacBeth) I’ve got daggers… they are multiplying…
Duo (also mimics MacBeth): And I’m losing control!
Tria: That just about sums up his situation.
Duo: Anyway, let us do karaoke first and have a drink after.
Tria: Aye! For alcohol, it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Duo: And there’s nothing worse than a witch belting out Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’ when she’s had a few double-troubles!
Tria: Fair’s fair; but may I remind you of that time that you and Macbeth sang Status Quo’s ‘In The Army Now’?
Duo: Oh, yes, Status Quo, I remember; it should have been banned?
Tria: Ban Quo? Surely not!
Exit Stage Left pursued by a tragic ending.
Duo and Tria (singing, if it could be called that): Those Summer Ni-iiiights!’
Audience Member: Tell me more, tell me more…
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Monologue, #Soliloquy, #Trialogue, @Macbeth, @Shakespeare, Duologue
Prospero: Think that there was a time we had a veranda, Miranda?
We had. It was truly a magnificent sight.
It started to the left of the palace
and went all the way around;
there were gardens of substantial beauty;
and a lake – mustn’t forget the lake –
and upon the lake…
the ducks!
Oh, those ducks!
What a noise;
though the geese were noisier still;
we stood and watched their antics;
whilst somebody else settled the bill.
That was a joke, Miranda.
At which you we’re supposéd to laugh…
(there is a short pause)
I do have another joke, Miranda…
It involves a short-necked giraffe.
No? Well, maybe another time.
(there is another short pause)
Did I mention that we had a veranda, Mirabelle?
‘Bardly Writ’ My Shakespearean trilogy (in one part) is actually available as an e-book! There is a link over there to the right – no, over there… that’s it. That’s if you want to fork out the princely sum of £1.99.
If you perchance purchase…
If you could feedback on Lulu.com after having read it I would be muchly appreciative. Thank you. G:)
“Shakespeare! Here, today!”
Is what I’d really love to say,
or shout.
But, sadly, there’s not a lot
of Him about.
And, yes, I gave Him a capital H;
why shouldn’t I?
He’s a playwright of the age;
of whichever age you are He is;
and this I write because of that
(and that I wrote because of this).
To be truthful,
I take all chances
to write of Him
and praise His glory to the skies.
Shakespeare, Poet, Bard, arise.
PS Shakespeare was a Taurean,
just like me,
we have lots in common,
as I’m sure He’d undoubtedly agree.
Shakespeare’s Birthday
Did you send him a card?
Who?
The Bard.
Why?
It’s his birthday.
Wow! I didn’t know – how old is he?
He was born five hundred and fifty-four years ago.
Which makes him…?
If alive, he would be five hundred and fifty-four years old.
That’s a lot of candles!
It surely would be. But, he died in sixteen sixteen.
That’s sad.
On his birthday.
That’s very sad. (there is a short pause) Before or after the cake?
I think it was during.
Death by Chocolate?
Quite possibly.
Sad, and yet, not totally.
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