Tag Archives: #self

When I am Drunk

When I am drunk

I become

Grim Chamfered.

No Plan B

No Plan B

I’m making an exhibition of myself;

I am the dullest trophy on the shelf;

nobody wants to look at me,

I’m a pretty picture that no one can see;

and, though, I have a plan, it’s no Plan B,

it’s what I must do

to let me be,

put myself out there,

in all my splendid mediocrity –

‘come see the exhibit – admission free!’

A few thoughts upon my poems

A few thoughts upon my poems

A lot of my poems

don’t really have a raisin d’être;

are not rhyming poems,

have poor, or, at the very least, inconsistent mêtre;

lack any visually pleasing anaesthetics,

and, seemingly, impart little or no peas of wisdom.

Earls, might have rhymed with that,

if I hadn’t used a Malapropism.

Some might say,

‘Your words are like the diamonds that one finds in one’s socks – imaginings of the mind.’

Others wouldn’t.

I am not blind to my failings…

bland to my railings…

or, blonde to my routes.

‘He who laughs last, often missed the point of the joke.’

I do not smoke.

Nor drink of the alcoholic beverage.

I merely think;

it gives me leverage.

“Is it still morning?”

“Is it still morning?”

“Is it still morning?”

I ask myself;

I look at the shelf

to see the clock;

but, the clock’s not there,

and neither’s the shelf!

“Oh,no!” I cry;

then I cry

tears of sorrow

no clock today

it was there yesterday

will it be back tomorrow?

Then I cry

tears of joy;

I remember,

that a friend did borrow

that clock of mine

to tell the time

and help this rhyme

be particularly fine.

But, as to the whereabouts of the shelf…?

If You Can’t See My Mirrors, Then I Probably Can’t See You!


Can you see my mirrors?
They are shiny bright and clean
I use them mostly for looking back;
And seeing where I’ve been.

But, if you ‘can’t’ see them
(And this is probably true)
Perhaps you don’t exist;
For, if you can’t see my mirrors,
Then strange to say
How can I see you.

And, remember, that when you look into a mirror approximately one and a half metres away from you, you are actually looking at yourself as you were about 2 nanoseconds before.

Can you see my mirrors?
Do you or I exist?
Or are we just dreaming things
Of a world we can’t enlist?

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,
Do you see me…
Or anything at all?”

“Does a mirror have eyes?” you ask.
“One!” I say. “Or it would be a ‘mrror!’
“Ha! Ha!” you respond, with your usual disdain;
“That wasn’t funny last time; how dare you use that pun again?”

I realise that I will never best
The voice that speaks lowly of my Pyrrhic victory
As if it were just me, myself and I
Being self congratulatory.

Perhaps, I should learn a lesson well
And listen more, and less do tell.

“As if!”

He always has to have the last word.

And upon this he actually, with me, concurred…

“I should co-co.”