Tag Archives: #Seagulls

‘Where have all the seagulls gone?’

‘Where have all the seagulls gone?’

Where have all the seagulls gone?

I walked through the town

whilst eating my fare,

there wasn’t a single seagull there!

I sat on the beach with my cool ‘99,

the sun shone brightly,

the sand was so fine;

but, ne’er did I hear the cry of:

‘Watch out, he’ll have your food!”

No, not a seagull to be seen,

how very rude.

I wish the seagulls would return,

I wish they would dive-bomb my snack;

oh, where, where are the seagulls?

I do hope they will soon venture back.

Where have all the seagulls gone?

I have a fresh pasty, a lolly, a scone;

I need the seagulls to take their share,

or my diet is ruined beyond repair.

Oh, where have all the seagulls gone?

©️graemesandford.com

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More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

Whilst many superfluous mathematicians may consider it a high probability that a one-winged seagullI would have to flap twice as hard as a two winged seagull to travel the same distance – albeit following a different trajectory –

in practice this is seldom if rarely the case.

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

“What are those gulls doing

up in the sky?

They were there yesterday,

they are there today;

and, by-and-by,

they’ll be there tomorrow!”

Unwin and Neverwin.

Unwin and Neverwin.

“Can you ‘unwin’ something?” said Unwin.

“Not sure.” said Neverwin. “I’ll let you know if I ever do win something.”

“Didn’t Didwin win something once?” continued Unwin.

“He might have done. It must have been a long time ago.” considered Neverwin.

“He was always entering competitions – so it’s quite likely that he would have won once.” said Unwin, thoughtfully.

Unwin was unsure as to whether just by entering a competition, you were more likely to win, than if you didn’t enter.

“Yes, he entered lots. Though I’m sure he’d have told us if he’d won something. A holiday to Barbados, a hamper of quality goods-“

“A personalised pencil!” interrupted Unwin. “I’ve always wanted to win a personalised pencil.”

“With ‘Unwin’ printed on it?” queried Neverwin.

“Oh, yes!” Unwin’s eyes had lit up. “U.N.W.I.N!”

“Well, dream big, little Unwin – a seagull’s dreams may come true.”

And with that the two gulls lined up the pasty of an easily-distracted holiday maker.

“Tea-time!” they shrieked in unison. “Let’s go and get it!”

Distracted By Seagulls

Distracted By Seagulls

I’ve been distracted by Seagulls lately,

on a regular basis;

interrupted by raptors

and ignored by various fascinating falcons;

this is all because

I am habitually hopeless.

It’s surprising that I

even managed to finish this…

Upon Seagulls

Upon Seagulls

A seagull laughed at me once;

then laughed at me many times;

but, I wasn’t going to be mocked,

by a seagull;

ideas to my mind soon flocked,

and I knew that I could get back at that gull

within the depths of my rhymes:

“A seagull had a silly laugh,

all the grace of a drunken giraffe;

a habit of being particularly nasty

to a tourist and his pasty;

pinching food with out a qualm;

then perching at a height, so calm;

enjoying its ill-gotten fare

then repeating the feat without a care.”

Oh, that didn’t really seem to work;

I made the gull seem cool,

myself a berk.

It’s hard to mock the feathered ones

that pinch your pasties, nick your buns;

I hear their laughter overhead,

and flinch at them in utter dread.

When in Looe…


When in Looe

What do you do?

Do you do as the Looeovians do?
Do all roads lead to Looe?

Was Looe built in a day?

Or a bay?

Are you in love with Looe?

Is she your mistress?

Does she cause you distress?

I am assuming that Looe is a lady

And not a malady!
Do you love or hate Seagulls covered in Marmite?
Do you hate to be asked too many questions?
Shall I stop asking you them?
Are you happy now?