Tag Archives: #Seagulls

The Seagulls and the Crows

The seagulls and the crows

were lined up in rows,

waiting to see the movie;

the crows had booked,

but the seagulls overlooked

booking in advance,

they were lucky, by chance,

that it wasn’t that busy tonight.

The crows were in rows A, B and C,

row C, obviously;

the seagulls just perched

wherever they could,

and awaited the start of the film;

a Hitchcock classic,

not a Park, Jurassic,

was what they had flocked here for,

they had heard the words

of Little Miss Muffet,

who, whilst eating her whey,

and supping her curds,

atop of a grassy tuffet,

had spread the news,

‘Tonight, at the flicks,

they are showing The Birds!’

The ghosts of Seagulls haunt my waking hours

The ghosts of Seagulls haunt my waking hours

The ghosts of seagulls

haunt my waking hours;

and various nefarious

other seabirds,

taunt me at night;

the Herring Gulls,

in particular,

have taken a

particular dislike

to me,

and attack me,

physically,

mercilessly;

whilst the Great Black-Backed Gulls

mock me from aloft,

call me soft,

and hurt me to the quick;

I feel sick

of all the birds

of the sea,

that do so hate me.

The Seagull Flies

The Seagull Flies

The Seagull Flies are just like your average, everyday, flies; except that they do have an incessant hankering for dive-bombing innocent holidaymakers at the seaside, and subtracting their recently purchased thoroughfares from their weedy little grasps – to the accompaniment of gasps of disbelief, cries of grief, and bemoanings of great, but ultimately insignificant, loss.

‘Where have all the seagulls gone?’

‘Where have all the seagulls gone?’

Where have all the seagulls gone?

I walked through the town

whilst eating my fare,

there wasn’t a single seagull there!

I sat on the beach with my cool ‘99,

the sun shone brightly,

the sand was so fine;

but, ne’er did I hear the cry of:

‘Watch out, he’ll have your food!”

No, not a seagull to be seen,

how very rude.

I wish the seagulls would return,

I wish they would dive-bomb my snack;

oh, where, where are the seagulls?

I do hope they will soon venture back.

Where have all the seagulls gone?

I have a fresh pasty, a lolly, a scone;

I need the seagulls to take their share,

or my diet is ruined beyond repair.

Oh, where have all the seagulls gone?

©️graemesandford.com

More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

Whilst many superfluous mathematicians may consider it a high probability that a one-winged seagullI would have to flap twice as hard as a two winged seagull to travel the same distance – albeit following a different trajectory –

in practice this is seldom if rarely the case.

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

“What are those gulls doing

up in the sky?

They were there yesterday,

they are there today;

and, by-and-by,

they’ll be there tomorrow!”

Unwin and Neverwin.

Unwin and Neverwin.

“Can you ‘unwin’ something?” said Unwin.

“Not sure.” said Neverwin. “I’ll let you know if I ever do win something.”

“Didn’t Didwin win something once?” continued Unwin.

“He might have done. It must have been a long time ago.” considered Neverwin.

“He was always entering competitions – so it’s quite likely that he would have won once.” said Unwin, thoughtfully.

Unwin was unsure as to whether just by entering a competition, you were more likely to win, than if you didn’t enter.

“Yes, he entered lots. Though I’m sure he’d have told us if he’d won something. A holiday to Barbados, a hamper of quality goods-“

“A personalised pencil!” interrupted Unwin. “I’ve always wanted to win a personalised pencil.”

“With ‘Unwin’ printed on it?” queried Neverwin.

“Oh, yes!” Unwin’s eyes had lit up. “U.N.W.I.N!”

“Well, dream big, little Unwin – a seagull’s dreams may come true.”

And with that the two gulls lined up the pasty of an easily-distracted holiday maker.

“Tea-time!” they shrieked in unison. “Let’s go and get it!”