Tag Archives: #Scottish

Has anyone my spurtal seen?

Has anyone my spurtal seen?

Has anyone my spurtal seen?

It’s orange and amber, and tangerine;

ma porrage needs stirrin’,

you know what I mean;

has anyone my spurtal seen?


Tart an’ Custard (a song)

Tart an’ Custard (a song)

I want to buy some tartan custard

some tartan custard for ma tea

but the only kind they have is yellow

and that’s no good for me.

I foond a poond!

I foond a poond!

(In a Scottish accent)

I found a pound

upon the ground

it was shiny

It was round;

but, the shiny pound

that I had found

upon the ground

it was broken

almost ruined.

Ode to a Scottish Ear of Wheat

Ode to a Scottish Ear of Wheat
(Please read this in a Scottish accent)

Oh, wee tear,
Why does yae fallest
Doon ma cheek?
I am a surly, burly man
Whose eyen are nae supposéd tae leak;
Apart frae wi’ mirth at the schadenfraude of others.

I am a manly man,
So, don yae hurt ma sisters
Or ma brothers.

And don yae be seen by no other man, yae ken?


PS this may help

Nursery Rhyme Time 1

A Scottish Black Bee

A Scottish Black Bee

“Buzz buzz, Black Bee
Have you lost your stripes?”
“No, sir; not me
Those bees are different types;

One courts disaster
When you’ve go-faster bands
One is so much safer
If you’re a ninja fan.”

Scottish ‘Oringe’ Limerick’


There was a young Scotsman whose ‘Oringe’

Was a hit at the Edin-berg Foringe

For his accent was broad

Made the audience applaud

But, made poets the world over coringe.

2 years ago (in Scotingland)

Scottish type Limericks from me (from 2013)

Scottish type Limericks from me (from 2013)

Just a blast (from the highlands) from the past for you. My back-catalogue has a few gems in it – sadly, these are not two of them G:)

PS apologies to you if you are Scottish (or slightly skittish)