Has anyone my spurtal seen?
It’s orange and amber, and tangerine;
ma porrage needs stirrin’,
you know what I mean;
has anyone my spurtal seen?
I want to buy some tartan custard
some tartan custard for ma tea
but the only kind they have is yellow
and that’s no good for me.
I foond a poond!
(In a Scottish accent)
I found a pound
upon the ground
it was shiny
It was round;
but, the shiny pound
that I had found
upon the ground
it was broken
almost ruined.
Ode to a Scottish Ear of Wheat
(Please read this in a Scottish accent)
Oh, wee tear,
Why does yae fallest
Doon ma cheek?
I am a surly, burly man
Whose eyen are nae supposéd tae leak;
Apart frae wi’ mirth at the schadenfraude of others.
I am a manly man,
So, don yae hurt ma sisters
Or ma brothers.
And don yae be seen by no other man, yae ken?
PS this may help
A Scottish Black Bee
“Buzz buzz, Black Bee
Have you lost your stripes?”
“No, sir; not me
Those bees are different types;
One courts disaster
When you’ve go-faster bands
One is so much safer
If you’re a ninja fan.”
There was a young Scotsman whose ‘Oringe’
Was a hit at the Edin-berg Foringe
For his accent was broad
Made the audience applaud
But, made poets the world over coringe.
Posted in Limerick, Limerick Orange, poem, Poetry, Scottish
Scottish type Limericks from me (from 2013)
Just a blast (from the highlands) from the past for you. My back-catalogue has a few gems in it – sadly, these are not two of them G:)
PS apologies to you if you are Scottish (or slightly skittish)
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