Tag Archives: #Room

Never Forget to Feed the Elephant in the Room

Never, ever, forget

to feed the elephant;

because, you don’t want

an angry, hungry elephant,

in your house.

A mouse might chew

on your skirting boards

to get through to the other side;

but, you won’t be able to hide

the damage that a ‘phant would do

if they wanted to.

The skirting boards

might be the only things left;

of the rest of the room,

you could well be bereft.

Pizza Oven

Pizza oven

I put my pizza oven

in the corner of the room

because my elephant likes pizza;

but, I had to move the loom;

and the grand piano,

the billiard table, too;

my Moto Guzzi sidecar,

an African canoe;

the Vienna String Quartet,

who were playing by the fire;

and every single member

of the Vienna Male Voice Choir.

Because my elephant loved pizza,

he shrank and disappeared;

and all the musicians hurried back,

they applauded and they cheered;

Occasionally, my elephant,

he comes and visits me,

together we get drunk;

mull about the old times,

we natter ‘til way past three;

but every time he’s in the room,

I think, that maybe he has shrunk;

and maybe one day, in a future time,

he’ll really pack his trunk.

I am the ghost in the machine

I am the ghost in the machine

I am the ghost in the machine,

the elephant in the room,

the fly in the ointment,

the wolf in sheep’s clothing;

and I have a loathing

for what I am.

I am the ghost in the room,

the elephant in the machine,

the wolf in the ointment,

and the fly in sheep’s clothing;

and I have a loathing

of what I have become.

I am the wolf in the room,

the fly in the machine,

the elephant in the ointment,

the ghost in sheep’s clothing;

and I have a loathing for this type of poem,

where the combinations grow

with every word

ever more and more absurd –

I am the septic in the poem,

or should that be sceptic?

Anyway, as I was saying,

I am the poet

in the septic,

tank.

No, that’s not right…

I am the poet in the room,

sheepishly wearing wolf’s clothing,

flying in the ghost machine,

whilst coated in ointment…

allegedly.