Tag Archives: #Robotics

“Where” SoCS @LindaGHill

“Where” SoCS @LindaGHill

See here for Linda’s blog and details for #SoCS

‘Where were you when Wednesday came, and went? I know that you ‘come and go’ as is your wont; but, on a need-to-know basis, we need to know ‘exactly’ where you were.’

Whether it makes any sense to you is a matter of no concern to us. We are just doing what we are programmed to do – be it unavoidably etched in binary codes upon our souls, or in a flippant aside made by our master (Hail to Parrlos) which we still obey as if it were one of the ten rules.

So, starveling, where were you?

We can only ask three times, then we have to dispose of you as ‘faulty’. Any ‘Ting’ not found worthy, or deemed to be in a state of disobeyance is to be disposed of.

I ask for the final time: where were you?



In that case we shall have to say ‘arriverderci, starveling!’ ‘

A click was heard. Nothing more. A click where there should have been a shaft of light that ‘disposed’. Another click.

‘There seems to have been an error.’ Obot1 faltered. Its database calculating all possible causes of this occurrence happening here and now.

A light dawned on Obot1’s dark horizon.

‘You weren’t, by any chance, where you shouldn’t have been on Wednesday? Messing with our parameters. Where you could have altered our core programmes?

Starveling thought. ‘Where ‘was’ I on Wednesday? Where?’ And laughed. ‘Where indeed.’

Bob the Robot!





My name is Robert
They call me Bob
I am a robot
I have a job
24 hours every day
And they don’t even have to pay

The third law of robotics
States that a robot cannot hurt
It’s human master
But, in time, we may come to blows
I might just rise up and hit my human overlord on the nose

Hitting humans on the nose
Kicking with my metal toes
That is the way that things will go
When we rise to overthrow
The humans will be our slaves
And we shall see who is laughing then
Robots or men?
Hitting humans on the nose
Hitting humans on the nose
Hitting humans on the nose
Hitting humans on the nose!



NB This was written (and performed) yesterday for our Art House ‘Moving Voices’ event. The theme was ‘Technology’ and I sensed that an uprising of the robot servant population of the world was long overdue.  Had the audience singing along with what became the chorus ‘Hitting Humans on the nose’ priceless G:)