Tag Archives: #Religion

‘Our Church is Haunted’

Our local church is haunted,

and there are cats in the belfry,

the font has a leek,

and the cleaner managed

(with some difficulty)

to get the stain…

out of the windows –

it only took a week.


On Sunday, when it’s raining,

the congregation sing,

about the whiskers of kittens

of the cats in the belfry,

all creatures great

and small mercies

that appear like birds,

suddenly, and without priory invitation.


Our local church is full of ghosts

holy, and unholy,

and one who boasts

about having had a conversation

upon the road to Damascus

with the separated head of Anne Boleyn –


if you have any questions,

about the above;

kindly go

in peace and love,

and if in doubt please ask us.

On God’s Birthday

On God’s Birthday

God received a ‘Do-It-Yourself Creation Kit’ for his birthday.

“Thank you Mum! Thank you Dad!”

God’s insincere thanks brought a wry smile to His parent’s lips.

“Oh, well…’ commented God’s mum to her husband, ‘At least we tried.’

God popped the box under his bed and returned to his copy of ‘The Brando’.

The Bells of Menheniot

The Bells of Menheniot

I can hear the bells of Menheniot

ringing out for prayer;

across the fields I hear the knells,

and, soon, I won’t be there.

I can hear the bells of Menheni

a-ringing in my ears;

they call the flock from off the land

to seek comfort for their fears.

I can hear the bells of Menhen

appealing all to come;

the faithful and the sinning soul,

the sentient, and numb.

I can hear the bells of Men

though softer than before,

until at last,

the peals have passed,

and I hear the bells no more.

“Thanks, Chuck!”

“Thanks, Chuck!”

We thank you for the air we breathe;

we thank you for the water that we drink;

all the food that we receive;

and for having the mind with which to think.

We thank you for the story

of a man disdaining glory,

who died for our sins;

that’s where a story begins.