Tag Archives: Radio

Radio Thymes

Radio Thymes

A lone guitarist on the battlements of Edinburgh castle is playing the end section of Norwegian Wood – possibly upon the steam-powered bagpipes.

Announcer:

That was Norwegian Wood by that 1960s pop-combo The Beatles, from their 1967 long-playing album, Rubber Soul, side 1, track 2 written by George Lennon and Ringo McCartney.

… and now…

GRAMS strange noises and curious words randomly placed in the time and space available.

Meanwhile, on Radio Radford… @RadioRadford

Meanwhile, on Radio Radford… @RadioRadford

“Hi! I’m Miles, from Anywhere.”

“And what do you want from me? Directions?”

“No! I’m Miles Ashton, from Anywhere.com – I called earlier, and spoke to… an ‘Amanda Lifeboats?’ “

“Ah, yes; that was me – I conveniently, for the purposes of this sketch, seem to have forgotten.”

“That’s right! That’s exactly what is says here on my script.”

“Where?”

“Just there – below the ‘Amanda Lifeboats’ section.”

“Ah, yes, there it is. So, he continues, what can I do for you, Miles from Anywhere, on this cold and lonely highway, nowhere at all near a blue hotel in California, dreaming of a white Christmas?”

“Could you play ‘Star-Trekkin’ ‘ by The Firm – it’s for my cousin Jack, he’s a Cornish astronaut.”

“A Cornish astronaut? There’s no such thing!”

“That’s okay, Cousin Jack is imaginary, too.”

“Right? Oh, well; here ‘is’ ‘Star Trekkin’ ‘ by The Firm. And Miles…?

“Yes?”

“It’s time for you to boldly go. Bye!”

“By-“

Serious Poetry On The Radio

Serious Poetry On The Radio

I heard some serious poetry on the radio once; yes I was the one that heard the serious poetry; nobody else was listening; not to that station anyway; I was the sole listener, just me on my Tod, well I am a bit odd; I enjoyed the rhyme,

and, in time, will come back again after I have recovered from the mental pain of serious poetry.

Seriously! Serious poetry on the radio! It’s a big no no no no no no!

It won’t be found in most people’s book,

would you not give it a try, take a look, by, and bye!

Radio Real

Radio Real

Dee: I’m not sure what we should call it. I’ve thought of a few names: ‘The Smooth Sunday Show’, ‘The Soft Sunday Show’…

Jay: It’s not a range of toilet-rolls!

Dee: True. How about ‘The Sensuous Sunday Show’? Bit too exotic?

Jay: No, leave it to me, I have the ideal name.

ON AIR (the next Sunday)

GRAMS: Radio Reality Jingle

Dee: Hi, I’m Dee, and I’d like to welcome you to, ‘The Alliterative Sunday Show!’

Random Radio.

RANDOM RADIO

“Welcome to Random Radio – the station for all sorts of everything that reminds us of you!”

“And your presenters for this wonderful wonder of wonders are…”

“The inimitable Burt Bachabeyond and the luminous lump that is…”

“Moira Thisjame!”

“Giving you ‘Burt!’ “

“and Moira!”

“On ‘Random Radiooooooo!”

“And our first record of the day is the hundred metres hurdles (Ladies, obviously) which stands at… eighty-three point eight centimetres!”

“Marvellous, Burt! And, now, on with the show!”

GRAMS “RANDOM RADIO!!!!!”

“Let’s spin some vinyl – this is ‘Blue Monday’ by New Order.”

GRAMS ‘Blue Moon’ by The Marcels.

That Song (on the radio) #Radio

I heard that song on the radio;

you know,

the one that makes your legs move,

and lightens your mood,

creates a smile,

The moment you hear

those opening chords,

that riff,

the almost remembered words in the verse,

the chorus all too enthusiastically sung

only slightly out of tune…

…and gets you moving around the room

as if you had not a care in the world.

That song.

And then the song finishes

and you return

changed

rearranged

to your chores.

A Radio Sketch

image

Ann 1: And now we have for your delectation : Glen Miller in the nude

Ann 2: in the ‘Mood!’ You donk!

Grams (a poor kazoo version of In The Mood starts up, initially it’s soft and subtle; but, then…)

SD 1 (just after it starts; before it goes bad) Ah, nice.

SD After a few moments Ann 2 states

Ann 2: That’s not Glenn Miller.

Ann 1: But, he is in the nude. Hey, mate; give it a rest, that’s fair doing my ears in… and it’s not doing much for my eyes, either. Get some togs on, will ya?

Ann 2: Did you book him?

Ann 1: If I was a cop I’d book him for something. I thought he was a sure winner; Glen Miller is very popular.

Ann 2: He died in 1945.

Ann 1: I thought he was younger. Just goes to show.

Ann 2: Show ‘what’ Exactly?

Ann 1: That you can’t judge a book by its cover.

Ann 2: Fair enough. Glenn?

Glen: It’s ‘Glen’ not ‘Glenn’.

Ann 2: Whatever. How old are you?

Glen: Forty-three, give or take.

Ann 2: Okay. I’ll ‘give’ you some advice; then you can ‘take’ it away with you. Sound fair?

Glen: Sounds fair to me.

Ann 2: Don’t give up the day job – and please don’t tell me that ‘this’ is it.

Glen: Certainly not, Madam. I am a qualified chartered accountant.

Ann 2: Figures.

Glen: Precisely.

Ann 2: Oh, well; good luck with that. And back to the show. Craig?

Ann 1: Thank you: and now ‘You can leave your hat on…’

Ann 2: Good grief.

Ann 1: By Tim Jones.

End.