Tag Archives: prose

Swapping Tales

A young man trying to do an old man’s job met an old man trying to do a young man’s job – they swapped their tales; and, afterwards, both were better able to do their job.

Stolen, Sunk, or just Floated Away.

Where is the island?

Over there!

Where?

There! Behind the mist!

I can’t see it. Are you sure it’s there?

It was there last time I saw it!

But, what’s to say that it’s still there now?

It just is, alright?

It might have been stolen, sunk, or just floated away.

Really?

Might have.

Yes, there is a possibility, though not a probability.

I reckon it sank, without Tracey.

Sorry?

I meant, ‘without a trace’.

Yes. I can see that now.

Where?

Oh, good grief!

‘Never say rabbit on a train’

Never say rabbit on a train –

I know, not a boat, a train;

because if you do (but you shouldn’t, so don’t);

but, if you do, who knows what will happen?

Everybody has a book in them

“It is said that ‘everybody has a book in them’; well, I’ve just seen my x-rays – and it’s true!”

Room 5

“Here you are, Mr. Binary, your room, Room 5.”

Mr. B: Oh, no! I distinctly asked not to be allocated this room number, it’s even unluckier than room one-one-o-one!

“Our room numbers don’t go up that far, Mr. Binary. We only have 20 rooms.

SD Mr. B considers this.

Mr. B: And, are you sure that nineteen pounds eighty four is the correct amount per night? Have I got that right?

At least a stopped clock is right twice a day.

At least a stopped clock is right twice a day.

A stopped perpetual calendar, on the other hand…

Schrödinger’s Hat

Where is it?

Is it in the box that he bought it in?

No.

Or did he pop it out of the box

and into a cupboard?

No.

Is it upon his head?

No.

Is it hanging behind the door?

No, it isn’t.

Is it in the wash?

No, but it was good to check.

Is it at the Library?

No. Why would it be there, he hasn’t been to the Library.

Is it somewhere else?

Yes – obviously!

Where is his hat?

Now that would be telling.

“Silence!”

I say, did you hear about the Librarian who prayed for silence and then went deaf?

Be careful what you pray for.

I am ‘not’ a robot.

“Please click upon

every box that has a traffic-light in.”

So I do.

And then I indicate

all the boxes with crossings in,

or cars,

black and white cats,

men with and without hats,

and also I enter the code C3bHy5c,

then G2eJt9r,

just to prove that I am,

or am not,

a robot.

By this time,

I’ve forgotten what I’m here for,

and, as my battery is getting low,

plug myself in

and await full charge again,

and so on and on it does go.

WordPress after the Triffids

Well, I used to write a lot on WordPress,

until that night with the green flashing lights

in the sky;

and then the triffids got loose.

Since then, well, you know, I have been busy protecting myself from the Triffids,

and, subsequently, I’ve had a lot less views on WordPress,

I haven’t really had the time to write a lot of things,

and most of the things that I have written have been written mainly about Triffids,

it’s very strange;

and then there are the ‘clacks’,

the noise that Triffids make when communicating –

now we’ve got lots of clacks over here,

like upon Discworld,

and that’s strange, how does my mind work like that?