Tag Archives: #prose

An Apology ( Of Sorts)

An Apology (Of Sorts)

Dear ‘to whom it may concern’

I humbly apologise in writing (if not in actual spoken words) to your good self, your husband, or wife (if appropriate) and to the current members of your fraternity, community, or secret society – those who have dearly departed through resignation of position or cessation of life altogether I heed not, nor apologise to, as they no longer need, or will heed any penitent voicings upon my part.

My apologies are, it must be written, here due, overdue, or strangely arriving at an inauspiciously inappropriate moment, in relation to my behaviour, whether it was perceived, actual, or largely implied, on the 3rd, 7th, or 14th of this month – or the month before, or the month before that (I do have an alibi, and an excuse for the 9th and the 23rd or 24th, depending on the Spring tides – but said, or written alibi, I am not at liberty to divulge the details).

I am thus hoping that this will alleviate our difficulties, pour water on our infernal internal wranglings, or be enough to strain the treacle of our differings through the socks of our amiability.

If anything that I once said, or did – or thought about saying, or doing – has caused you concerns, I do sincerely hope that the enclosed blank check will go some way to evening out our issues – please do not worry that it is unsigned, I haven’t the monies to cover it anyway, such are my financial straits, and such is life.

By the way, the set of antique silver spoons that I ‘borrowed’ from your delightful residency helped to cover my travel expenses; the rest of the canteen of cutlery was taken and sold purely for profit – I thank you for them.

Furthermore to the above, if you could kindly advertise in the national newspapers when you have replaced said items, I may perhaps be of a mind to consider a return visit; and, if, when you are fully replete once more, could you please get some different biscuits in for when I do pop by – Rich Tea are so boring.

Anyway, hoping that this finds you in good health, bed, or some other state, and your herb garden is thriving – not a euphemism – and all is well at t’ mine, at sea, and in the air.

Yours faithfully

Algernon Nonn


A little intro and then a poem about ‘Green’ tissues.

A little intro and then a poem about ‘Green’ tissues.

… and I thought, somewhat mistakenly, so it seems, that I was supposed to bring a poem that dealt with green ‘tissues’ – not that I have a preference in the colour of the tissues that I purchase , I’m not prejudiced – and I do still use hankies on occasion (or ‘handkerchiefs’ as they were formerly known.

So this poem is as green as grass –

unless we’re talking about Bluegrass; and, talking about Bluegrass, I like it a lot – but my landlord is none too keen, so it will have to be resprayed.

Anyway, not to waste a good poem – or even a mediocre one – this is ‘Green Tissues’

by me:

Green Tissues,

not to be sneezed at;

the colour of a tissue

doesn’t denote its worth –

as long as the tissue can be recycled,

and doesn’t harm the Earth –

and the shade of green

is not important,

various shades can be purchased,

and, seen from a distance,

all shades are (or seem) the same.

A tissue—

“Bless you!”

Thank you.

A tissue—

“Bless you!”

Thank you, most kind, I’m sure.

A… well, one of these,

is as good as any other tissue is.

So, I don’t really know what the issue is.

The Giraffe Tea Party🦒

The Giraffe Tea Party🦒

The day of the giraffe tea party had finally arrived, and all the giraffes were gathered in the Village Hall; the veritably hardened of the drinkers had gathered in the corner by the larger urns, and they were necking down hot lapsang souchong by the bucketful.


“A Party?!”

“A Party?!

We were thinking of holding a ‘Partly Poetry Party’,

food and drink a-plenty;

rhyming conversation hearty;

maybe ten or twenty

guests would be enough;

but then we decided that poetry is not everybody’s cup of tea, and so we held a ‘Partly Prose Party’ instead –

it was hilarious, all the various people that did attend –

until it came to a premature end;

if only we had provided enough words to go around.

‘Rib’ #SoCS @LindaGHill

‘RiB’ #SoCS &LindaGHill

See here for Linda’s #SoCS

‘I was dribbling when I wrote this

forgive me if it goes astray.’

The boys ribbed me over my accent. “I’m from Cornwall!” I cried, then I cried.

“Who’s an Nansum boy, then! Pretty Pasty, Pretty Pasty!” called Joe Parroti.

I bribed them not to take the Michael out of me; it worked for a while – then my money ran out.

“The trouble with Tribbles…” was as far as I got – the Nerds didn’t like me either – new nerd on the block!

It’s not easy getting into a tribe – we had just read Lord of the Flies – and I was a bit of a Piggy; but from my POV not enough of one. – and I was no Jack or Ralph, that’s for sure.

I left school at 27 and became a scribe; well, I scribbled; and dribbled as I did so.

Rib of Adam, son of Eve

maybe it is

time to leave.


I Need A Dolour.

I Need A Dolour.

I was sipping Sangria in Shangri-La the other day…

when I started considering the position that I was in – the sangria, by the way, was non-alcoholic, as it didn’t need to be a fiery liquid that would free my inhibitions.

BTW in Shanghai-La, everyone is able to reach a state of Nirvana by just breathing in the air and drinking deeply (and solely) of the natural draughts of the fresh-water river that runs through the centre of the realm.

In reality, I am in Erewhon, that backwards place of fictional creation.

Places, names; faces, games!

All is well. And all is Hell.

Does this emplify or simplify things?

My mind wanders about, enters a maze, is lost.

I count the cost: one dolour, two dolours, three…

More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

More About Unwin and Neverwin the Seagulls

Whilst many superfluous mathematicians may consider it a high probability that a one-winged seagullI would have to flap twice as hard as a two winged seagull to travel the same distance – albeit following a different trajectory –

in practice this is seldom if rarely the case.