Tag Archives: #play

Wiliam Shakspeare’s Truly Tragic Tragedie – Richard and Juliet (a part)

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And now on Toe-in-the-Water Radio, we bring you the latest episode of our continuing ‘Play For This Day’ a tale of ‘star-cross’d lovers’, Wiliam Shakspeare’s Richard & Juliet!

Act 2, Scene 2: The Balcony Scene.

Rich: Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark
Our King Dickie is having a lark

What light from yonder window breaks
It is Juliet, and I am the sun of York.

Juliet: Bog Off, Crookback!

Rich: Whores! Whores! My kingdom’s full of whores!

TBC

#dialogueforaplay (Tweets 106-111)

hash-tag dialogueforaplay 106-111

106

PC Leaves (it’s his name) leaves.

Lady W: Do you think he suspects?

Syd: He hasn’t a clue!

Stiff: He’s not alone.

Tbc

107

Syd: Are you still alive?

Stiff: I’m ‘invincible!’

Lady W: I can see you!

Stiff: Really?

Lady W: As plain as this!

Tbc

108

The dagger gets the stiff ‘really’ dead.

Lady W: Now that ‘we’ have cleared the field, the Whom fortune is mine!

Tbc

109

Syd: Yours?

Lady W: Yes, mine, take this!

Syd: A bottle with ‘Poison!’ writ on it!

Lady W: I’m all out of knives.

Tbc

110

Syd: Do you really think I’m going to drink this?

Lady W: Not at all – that’s why I coated the bottle in poison.

Tbc

111

Syd: You…

Syd dies

Lady W: …win?

PC Leaves returns.

PC: I’m going to need a bigger notebook!

PC Leaves leaves

Tbc

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#dialogueforaplay (Tweets 91-105) The Ending is Nigh!

hash-tag dialogueforaplay 91-105

91

The PC chases doctors off stage. DCI looks bemused.

DCI: I look confused. Ergo: I am confused. I do follow. Leaves.

Tbc

92

Lady Whom, DC Acey and Laura/Laurence Protocol are left along with the stiff.

DC Acey: I don’t know about you lot.

Tbc

93

Lady W: Really!

DC Acey: I hadn’t finished – I was going to add ‘but, I’m confused!’

Laura: Well, you’re not alone!

Tbc

94

Lady W: Is he dead yet?

Laur: I’ll kick him.

DC Acey: Ouch!

Laur: He’s alive.

Lady W: I meant ‘him!’ (points)

Tbc

95

Laur kicks the stiff.

Stiff: Ouch!

Laur: He is ‘also’ alive.

Lady W launches a knife into the stiff.

Stiff: Really!

Tbc

96

Lady W: I had to do that; he’s been asking for it.

Laur: I didn’t hear him.

DC Acey: ‘And’ he ‘was’ already ‘dead!’

Tbc

97

Lady W: I just need to remove a couple of witnesses.

DC Acey: I pity them. More throwing daggers?

Lady W: Oh, yes!

Tbc

98

Laur: I think she means ‘us!’

DC Acey: Really?

Laur: I wish we’d all stop saying ‘really!’

Lady W: Your wish is…!

Tbc

99

Lady W throws 2 knives and DC Acey gets the point, Laura gets a 6-inch blade neatly between the eyes!

Lady W: Bye!

Tbc

100

Lady W: Being in the circus was excellent training for life… or for death… situations; I’m so glad I ran away!

Tbc

101

The Policemen Return.

DCI: Hello three times; what’s been going on here, then?

Lady W: Are you talking to me?

Tbc

102

DCI: Seems like you are the ‘last man standing!’

Lady W: Really!

DCI: it’s just a phrase!

PC: He’s going through!

Tbc

103

Lady W: I saw it all!

PC: You look like you’ve been around a bit!

Lady W: A masked man ran into the room and slew!

Tbc

104

DCI: Slew?

Lady W: Yes ‘slew!’ And having slewed, he ran off into the night!

PC: It’s 3:30!

Lady W: The afternoon!

Tbc

105

DCI: Constable, we are going to need some more ‘chalk’ outlines. If you can just mosey off, good lad. Don’t rush.

Tbc

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#dialogueforaplay (Tweets 64-75)

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64

Act 2 Scene1

Stage is lit. A uniformed policeman is present. The lights go out as DCI Syd of CID enters. He trips

Tbc

65

DCI: Darn!

The lights go up. DCI is on the floor with the white outline. He stands up with it. DCI: What’s this?

Tbc

66

PC: That’s the outline of the stiff’s body, sir.

DCI: Isn’t it supposed to be in chalk? PC: HSE rules! Dust hazard!

Tbc

67

DCI: Chalk dust! A hazard? You cannot be serious!

PC: Deadly, sir.

DCI: Deadly ‘serious’ or deadly ‘chalk dust’?

Tbc

68

PC: Both! We have to use chalk ‘substitute’.

DCI: It’s ‘Iron!’ Aren’t HSE worried about ‘rust!’

PC: I can’t say.

Tbc

69

DCI: You can tell me I’m a policeman.

PC: You’re a policeman!

DCI: Really! By the way; where has the stiff gone?

Tbc

70

PC: The body of the “deceased” was apprehended trying to buy a drink in the intermission. He wasn’t ‘really’ dead!

Tbc

71

DCI: Constable, let’s pretend that the ‘stiff’ is a real ‘live’ dead man for the moment. The public expects it.

Tbc

72

PC: Make a wish!

DCI: Sorry?

PC: As you wish! Tip of the Slongue.

DCI: Have you been drinking?

PC: Yes, sir, water!

Tbc

73

DC Acey enters. Sees policemen, about turns.

DCI: Have you found any clues, Constable?

PC: Only snooker ones, sir.

Tbc

74

DCI: I’ll let that rest. Where are the suspects?

PC: They were in the bar, too.

DCI: Keep it realistic, constable.

Tbc

75

An unknown lady walks in from ‘out’.

Lady: Is this the ‘Crime Scene?’

DCI: It is.

Lady: Lovely! Thanks!

She leaves.

Tbc

-/-

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#dialogueforaplay (Tweets 51-63 – to the Intermission)

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51

Dr 1: You called him a stiff – I heard you!

Dr P: Yes, you did!

Dr 1: I know I did – I was listening!

Dr P: Really? Tbc

-/-

52

Dr 1: About that Nightcap…

DC Acey: Okay! Listen…

Dr 1: (listens)

Dr P: (listens)

DC Acey: I so needed that!

Tbc

-/-

53

A woman enters the scene There is a knock at the door.

Woman: I’m ‘so’ out of sync this morning.

Dr P: And you are?

Tbc

-/-

54

Woman: Yes, I am- a state of ‘being’ is so necessary these days, don’t you think? Dr 1: He doesn’t – none of us do.

Tbc

-/-

55

Woman: I am the Lady Whom… married to Lord Whom – whom I am meeting here, today. Is he here?

Dr 1: Tall? Dead?

Tbc

-/-

56

Woman: He is tall – he wasn’t dead the last time I spoke to him.

Dr P: This him?

Woman: No!!

DC Acey: Not me! Him!

Tbc

-/-

57

Woman: He’s… dead!

Omnes: Are ‘you’ a doctor?

Woman: I may be. Who is asking?

Omnes: We are!

Woman: Yes, you are!

Tbc

-/-

58

DC Acey: Well?

Woman: Yes, thank you – apart from a recent shock to the marital status. He was a Lord, you know.

Tbc

-/-

59

Omnes: We’d gathered that!

Dr P: But, what use is a dead Lord?

Wom: About as much use as a live one – in his case

Tbc

-/-

60

Dr 1: We have called him an ambulance!

Wom: I’ve called him far worse than that, dearie!

DC Acey: Shall we dance?

Tbc

-/-

61 Intermission –

You may dance! You may not, however, do the Mashed Potato or the Susi Q if there is an ‘r’ in the month.

-/-

62

The music continues as the characters (the live ones only) dance a waltz – sadly the music is not a waltz tune.

Tbc

-/-

63

Ann Owncer: Ladies & Gentlemen… if you could be resuming your seats in a moment… the second act is about to begin!

-/-

#dialogueforaplay Tweets 41-50

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41

Dr P: More important – Who are you?

Dr 1: Whom!

Dr P: Let’s not argue over grammar!

Dr 1: (bitter) She started it!

Tbc

42

Dr P: You!

Dr 1: Me!

DC Acey: Are you?

Dr P: Yes!

DC Acey: And you?

Dr 1: Yes!

DC Acey: My Uncles!

Dr P: My God!!!!

Tbc

43

Dr 1: Grandma Whom was a fine old lady – who had the bad grace to live too long and, when she died, made cats rich!

Tbc

44

Dr P: You never liked Grandma… or cats!

Dr 1: What is there to like about cats?

DC Acey: Ladies! Handbags away!

Tbc

45

Dr 1: He started it!

DC Acey: And I’m stopping it!

Dr P: I never liked you!

DC Acey: What I do?

Dr 1: He means me!

Tbc

46

DC Acey: I’m Harold Whom – and this is not my ‘twin’ brother. No, the deceased! Dr P; I know that, I’m your father!

Tbc

47

Dr 1: Any chance of a recap!

Dr P: It’s a bit early, old stick; the sun’s not over the yard arm yet – is it Harold? Tbc

48

DC Acey: That’s the stiff! He’s extremely unlikely to have an opinion – on anything!

Dr P: Do we know who he is?

Tbc

49

Dr P: And before you say it, I was talking about the stiff; and not Dr 1.

Dr 1: Do we know yet who the stiff was?

Tbc

50

DC Acey: No! You cannot call the deceased ‘The Stiff’ – it’s disrespectful!

Dr P: But, he has gone somewhat stiff!

Tbc

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