Tag Archives: #Pasty

Tate My Pasty @RateMyPasty

Tate My Pasty @RateMyPasty

Upon a canvas

to behold

is a Cornish Pasty,

ancient, old;

full of promise

that never came.

“Pasty cold , or piping hot?” @RateMyPasty

“Pasty cold , or piping hot?” @RateMyPasty

Rate my pasty

from one to ten –

or from onan to deg

if you like.

Berate my pasty

if you dare,

it should only be mine

to celebrate

or discard in Liskeard

in despair.

Integrate a Devon pasty?

Infiltrate, I think not.

No, furnish me

with Cornish fare

crimped to the side

and leave me there

to contemplate

the meal’s sad fate;

my Cornish Pasty

I here await.

Upon Seagulls

Upon Seagulls

A seagull laughed at me once;

then laughed at me many times;

but, I wasn’t going to be mocked,

by a seagull;

ideas to my mind soon flocked,

and I knew that I could get back at that gull

within the depths of my rhymes:

“A seagull had a silly laugh,

all the grace of a drunken giraffe;

a habit of being particularly nasty

to a tourist and his pasty;

pinching food with out a qualm;

then perching at a height, so calm;

enjoying its ill-gotten fare

then repeating the feat without a care.”

Oh, that didn’t really seem to work;

I made the gull seem cool,

myself a berk.

It’s hard to mock the feathered ones

that pinch your pasties, nick your buns;

I hear their laughter overhead,

and flinch at them in utter dread.

“Hot Pasties Ahead!”

“Hot Pasties Ahead!”

Hot Pasties in a lay-by;

10am to 2pm.

Cornish provender

for the hungry traveller,

and if you missed the opportunity

to feed your Cornish needs,

there’s another Pasty lay-by

wherever this road leads.

Looe News.

There was a man-eating fish

In West Looe the other day,

With a fresh catch for it’s tea;

Sprinkled with salt,

And vinegar to a fault.

All consumed,

It then swam away.

–//–

There were also Seagull-Eating Pasties present in East Looe, today;

But, as to how that went,

I’ll leave it up to you –

It was messy, that’s all I’ll say.

The Rime of the Ancient Pasty

NB To be sung in an old sea-shanty sort of way.

(Slowly)

I am a man

And I have a pasty

What shall I do with it?

I’m going to…

(Fast)

Eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it, eat it, eat it,

Eat that pasty right up!

(Slowly)

I am a seagull

And I see a man

And he has a pasty

What shall I do?
I’ll swoop down quickly

And pinch the pasty dreckly

Then I’ll have a pasty

And what shall I do with it?

(Fast)

I’m going to…

Eat it, eat it, eat it,

Eat it, eat it, eat it,

Eat that pasty right up!
(Slowly) 

I am a pasty

And I don’t fancy my chances.