Tag Archives: #parody

‘Carry On Writing’ #LWG 5-minute exercise

“Carry On Writing!”

Sid walked into the room.

Kenneth, Kenny and Babs were sat at various tables reading the latest script

Babs has been cast as Elizabeth the First, Sid as Sir Really Rather-a-Wally, Kenneth as Lord Waltzinghome and Kenny as King Philip the Poor Second of Spain. The guest actor who was to be portraying a youngish William Shakeshaft was Ian Lavender.

The script called for many doublet-entendres and a smattering of smut and innuendo. This was obviously no surprise.

“To be or not to be…” exclaimed Ian, as he entered the room.

“Is this a dagger that I see before me?” Asked Babs. “Not ‘arf!” she laughed raucously.

It was going to be another one of those days.


Reimagining a Beginning – The Hobbit.

Reimagining a Beginning – The Hobbit.

Just stepping outside your front door can be dangerous – ask any Hobbit. Well, not just any Hobbit, you have to ask the ones that stay safely at home- which, admittedly, is most of them.

Not keen to go on adventures? No. They have a certain lack of daring, little or no derring-do, and are not generally known to possess the essential spirit of discovery.

That being said, there are one or two that do have what it takes to become a hero.

This is the story of one such Hobbit.

The Bavarian is at the gate…

The Bavarian is at the gate…

I bet he’s going to try

and sell us some more

Black Forest Gateau

on a fancy plate.

The Ghost at the Banquet (I am)

I am the ghost

at the banquet.


No, that was another ghost

at another banquet –

I am not him,

and he is not me.

Do you see?

He was there due to his death

at the hands of MacBeth.

I was not

killed by an ambitious Scot;

but, by a jealous yak

from ancient Tibet.

Why I should be at this particular banquet

Is a mystery yet.

The Great British Bake Off 1598.

Paulus Holyword: Taketh these ingredients

and maketh of them a cake;

for I would eateth of such a thing

And when I say ‘cake’

I mean ‘cake’

no alternatives shall be acceptable;

If thou breakest the spirit

of my challenge

I shall be most displeaseth –

in fact, I shall have thy guts and thy garters for breakfast.

Hail Mary!

This may sound slightly familiar.

If you go down to the words today,

you had better go under a pseudonym.

If you jot down a few words today,

what message will you include in ‘em?

For every word you write is unique

depending upon the order you seek

for today’s the day that writers will hone their technique.

That’s Conversation

The Jam’s version here That’s Entertainment

That’s Conversation. (That’s Entertainment The Jam)

G / Em

Two people talking

About when they were young

Of times in the city

All the songs that they’d sung

Warm tea and muffins

Holidays on the South Coast

Who were the heroes

That they loved the most

Am / F

That’s a conversation

Let’s have a conversation

G / Em

About stuff

About stuff

G / Em

Put down your mobiles

Come away from your screens

You are a character

Get back to the scenes

Where the dialogue is spoken

And emotions are seen

Listen and respond

You must be eager and keen

Am / F

In the face of a conversation

Make a conversation

Let’s start a conversation

G / Em

About stuff

About stuff

(Freestyle dialogue)

*A work in progress