Tag Archives: #Orwell

Room 5

“Here you are, Mr. Binary, your room, Room 5.”

Mr. B: Oh, no! I distinctly asked not to be allocated this room number, it’s even unluckier than room one-one-o-one!

“Our room numbers don’t go up that far, Mr. Binary. We only have 20 rooms.

SD Mr. B considers this.

Mr. B: And, are you sure that nineteen pounds eighty four is the correct amount per night? Have I got that right?

Wigan Pier and other works

I’m piering at Wigan from a distance;

unlike Southend it’s got me bemused,

I think I’m on the road to nowhere;

because I’m so easily confused.

Up and in,

down and out,

in unhappy Londres

and gay Paree ,

I am beholden

only to me.

A visit to Binary Room 5,

where my elder sibling looms over me,

like a jackboot above a face.

Now, throwing snowballs at Napoleon,

the animals went in two by four,

some moreso than others.

“Deep-Fried Ukulele in a Light Tempura Batter.”

“Deep-Fried Ukulele in a Light Tempura Batter.”

A long time ago,

A young George Orwell was thought to have said

(and this was when he was younger,

before he was dead)

‘Four strings good;

Six strings better!’

and then he deep-fried a ukulele

In a light tempura batter


#1 in a series of 10 entitled, ‘Ten (10) Creative Ways To ‘Literally’ Cook Your Ukulele.’

Bob is Watching You! 2



BOB Says…

Big Obsequious Brother (you can still call me ‘Bob!’) is watching you!

Well, you’ve definitely been up to no good today.
Your intentions may have seemed radical and ground-breaking; but, your actions were full and predictable.
Doesn’t seem fair, does it?
Being one of 7.14 billion and thinking the world revolves around you – when it obviously doesn’t!
Have to get your act together if you want to be more than a cast member to life.
What! Another thought! My, you are full of them. Good luck (sardonical, I am).

Another of our surveys showed that 2.798% of 4,013,648 people we surveyed preferred salt to sugar in their coffee / tea (some people are just weird)

BOB is Watching You!


Big Obsequious Brother (you can call me ‘Bob!’) is watching you!

Everything you say or do
Is known to me
And if I can manage it
I’ll know exactly what you are thinking
And use that against you when your lifeboat is sinking.
You will toe the line
Stick to the rules in my book
And not
I repeat ‘not’
Under any circumstances
Have thoughts of your own.

Our survey has shown that 98% of 3,098,648 people preferred a life more ordinary.