As I was going to Saint Ives…
I met a policeman collecting knives,
pieces of string, and that sort of thing;
nuclear devices and an incendiary rocket;
all the types of device I carry in a pocket.
As I was going to Saint Ives
I was stopped by a policeman collecting knives.
As I was going to St. Ive
I met a met a man whose name was St.eve,
he told me that he wouldn’t leave
(but not what or where he wouldn’t leave)
and it was then that he told me
that his name was St.eve.
Little Tommy Crankshaft and Suzy Socket-Set.
Little Tommy Crankshaft sang for his supper;
but, he didn’t sing all that well
and just had bread and butter.
His sister Suzy Socket-Set, she had an angel’s voice –
she found it in the street one day,
and really had no choice
but to pick it up and try it out –
it fitted her quite nicely –
and now she sings
and her singing brings
forth all the rats and mice
leaving none in the houses at all.
So, she led them away
for a year and a day
and they were seen no more.
My Five-Pound Note (a jaunty rhyme with a sad(ish) ending).
Once I found a five-pound note
upon that note a note I wrote
I wrote a note about a stoat
Upon that five-pound note.
I spent that note
and bought some bread
that I would toast
I’d toast the bread;
some coffee beans
that I would roast;
I would roast the beans;
the toast was eaten,
the coffee was drunk,
and my five-pound note was all but shrunk,
I had no more than a penny left
Of my five-pound note
I felt bereft.
A Scottish Black Bee
“Buzz buzz, Black Bee
Have you lost your stripes?”
“No, sir; not me
Those bees are different types;
One courts disaster
When you’ve go-faster bands
One is so much safer
If you’re a ninja fan.”