Tag Archives: #NotAPoem

Terms and Conditions Apply.

You can like a poem

or even love it,

but be careful,

as Terms and conditions apply.

1. You can only like it (or love it)

if you’ve actually read it;

2. You can only really appreciate it

(which is indicated by you liking or loving it)

if you have read it out aloud;

3. Any criticism should be valid, and even-handed;

4. Any praise should be within the bounds of credulity;

5. Furthermore, you should be able to recognise a poem when it bites you on the bottom;

6. This is not a poem, or a list poem – it’s merely some prose and a list.

Mock Tutorial Soup – (not a poem!)

We knew it was a Thursday,

by the listing of the menu

pinned upon the notice board.

We had Mock Tutorial on a Thursday.

‘Super!’ we thought, ironically.

Then, we realised that after MTS

we had Double Grumble and Custard –

our spirits dropped even lower;

Thursdays were supposed to be

a warm-up for Fridays,

when we could all wind down

in time for the weekend;

but, MTS for lunch,

and DG&C after,

always left us feeling like we had

little hope of Friday

(and the weekend)

ever arriving.

“It’s not a poem!” you say.

“It’s not a poem!” you say.

“It’s not a poem!” you say.

“And who are you to say

that what I say

is not a poem?” I say.

You reply, “ I say, I say, I say…”

“What do you say you say you say?”

“I say, that it’s not a poem because it only has one rhyme, repeated lots – that’s what I say!”

I said nothing; he’d had his say,

I just wished he’d go away.

A Poem?

A Poem?



by any other name

would not be a poem…

well, it would be;

but, it wouldn’t –

if you know what I mean.

I hope that the above helps you,

it has certainly caused me a headache.