Tag Archives: #nonsense

Acrostic Haiku (another attempt at one)

Haikus just won’t fit;

Attempts have often been made,

It’s just not their fault;

Kettles boil dry, burning out,

Upsetting the status quo.

.

Now that didn’t work

Out the way it should have done –

Two too many lines.

Death on the Beach

It’s never easy to reach

a conclusion;

and even less easy

to reach a beach,

unless you are near one,

and can travel that way.

.

“Why the title?” you ask.

.

Well, gentle reader,

a poem must have a title,

or else untitled it is;

or titled ‘Untitled’

if you do desire,

written by a nun

or a non

in a choir.

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“That’s just silly!”

commented the gentle reader,

his boots all aglow.

“What is all this nonsense?”

.

Aside: ‘The gentle reader must go!’

.

We met on a beach,

face to face,

toe to toe,

I offered the reader a lifeline,

it was tied to a speedboat just so.

Twice round the harbour,

once round the block,

when he returned,

I had a custard-filled sock.

.

“Whack!” went the sound effect.

.

“Ow!” the reply.

.

Now there was a death on the beach;

and, as to the title: that’s why.

Westward Ho! (Friday’s Rehashed Post)

Will: I’m off to Westward Ho! to see the stones.

Ben (SD – said with a veritable lack of enthusiasm): That sounds… exciting.

Will: It does? Good! Because I am excited by the thought.

Ben: I can’t quite see the attraction.

Will: Are you more of an Entomologist, Ben?

Ben: Beetles? I hardly think so.

Will: One or the other, Ben, one or the other.

Two Hundred Haikus @AkiraAnno @AnthonyHorowitz

Number One Haiku:

it needs no introduction,

and doesn’t get one.

.

Number Two Haiku:

not being the first born one

leaves quite a sour taste.

.

Number Three Haiku:

in the shadows of siblings

and left in that shade.

.

Number Four Haiku;

a mistake, sad, unwanted,

a loner by birth.

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Number Five Haiku:

this one just doesn’t exist,

it’s an illusion.

.

Number Six Haiku;

as above for Number Five,

but even more so.

.

Number Seven Hai—

ku: which is where it goes wrong

as regards format,

.

and if you do want

Numbers Eight to Two Hundred…

you can write, can’t you?

Time for a rhyme

Have you got time

for a rhyme?

No?

Okay, this will have to be

free

verse.

(“Call the Poetry Hearse

because trad poetry is dead!”)

I said

it would happen

and it did;

it has been found out,

wherever it had been hid.

Now there is nothing

but opening doors

that once were shut,

and gentle tides

on foreign shores;

all metaphors

and similar things

that no longer conform

to the old poetry laws.

Please comment upon these words

in syllables of no more than two thirds.

A break in the clouds

There was a moment…

That reminds me of Rozencrantz

and Guildenstern, courtesy of Tom,

when they looked back

and saw the possibility

of a different outcome.

.

Anyway – I am easily sidetracked –

the Sun came out,

and I had just set the fire to ‘Roar!’

What am I going to do with all this heat?

Soon the sweet sweat shall pour!

Still got stuff to do!

As time moves along

I realise

that I may not

have used my moments wisely:

where is the prophet in my poetry?

Are any of my poems any good?

Has it improved my grandma?

Do I spiel-check my worlds?

Have I a decent poem in me?

Why is a squirrel?

.

And other questions.

.

There, 3 minutes of my life gone that I won’t get back!

Dances With Buns

A bun dance

was held every Saturday night,

and alternate Tuesdays,

Wednesdays, and Fridays.

.

Mondays were reserved for Beginners, Advanced, and Advanced Beginners;

Thursday’s for Advanced, Beginners,

and Advanced Beginners.

Sunday, being a day of rest,

and the Holiest of the Weekend days,

was given over to resting, praying,

and a non-official dance-off between

Advanced Beginners, and newly advanced

Advancers, with some open-dance spots as well for everybody else.

.

‘All welcome!’ Hailed the banner.

.

And all were.

.

The Buns just loved to dance, and they had plenty of opportunities to do so.

The Pintail

Unusual (and untrue) fact about the Pintail:

the Pintail is distantly related to the Donkey.

Saturday Haikus #1 – #5

Saturday Haiku

no different at all from…

… any other one.

.

Saturday Haiku #2

.

It is the weekend!

And that begins Saturday

and ends – all too soon.

.

Saturday Haiku #3

.

So, what is the plan?

Get out of that lazy bed

and paint the town green!

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Saturday Haiku #4

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A walk with the dogs,

then hoovering the bedroom.,

then hoover the lounge.

.

*Hoover is the name of a Vacuum Cleaner Manufacturing Company – I live in a Vacuum not a Hoover. Discuss.

.

Saturday Haiku #5

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It’s Saturday, and…

it is like no other day –

Hurrah, Saturdays!