Tag Archives: #nonsense

All out of sync

All out of sync

I’m all out of sync,

my brain’s on the blink,

and I cannot think

of another rhyme.

I’m dumb and confused,

numb and quite weary,

clumsy and clearly

shot away;

but, that’s not to say…

over and out,

whisper and shout,

and here is the twist,

I’m the top of my list.


The birbs and the blees and the butterfleas

The birbs and the blees and the butterfleas

The birbs and the blees and the butterfleas

are bimbling about, as they do –

alliteratively, of course,

“Buzz, buzz!, Beep, beep! Boo-hoo!”

The Bengal Tiggers, the Kangaramoo,

and the Gallumphant,

are conspicuous by their absence notes,

in triplicate, upper case and coloured blue.

The Easels and the N-guins argue over the rules of Brackgammon,

whilst the Errfets and Olems

play Mah-Yong between one and two – but always getting it wrong,

Which is why those two species just do not get along.

All in all,

Nature is wonderful,

its creatures so cool;

so what happens when it’s gone,

will we return to the pool?




if I remember correctly,

is only memorise spelt wrong;

as ‘snog’ is ‘song’

and ‘prognol’ is ‘prolong’ –

and, so as not to ‘prognol’

this any ‘regnol’

I shall ‘pots’ now.

The Box

The Box

The box was round,

levitated three-feet off the ground,

cost me a pound,

but the neighbours still frowned

at it –

and who can blame them.

An Apology ( Of Sorts)

An Apology (Of Sorts)

Dear ‘to whom it may concern’

I humbly apologise in writing (if not in actual spoken words) to your good self, your husband, or wife (if appropriate) and to the current members of your fraternity, community, or secret society – those who have dearly departed through resignation of position or cessation of life altogether I heed not, nor apologise to, as they no longer need, or will heed any penitent voicings upon my part.

My apologies are, it must be written, here due, overdue, or strangely arriving at an inauspiciously inappropriate moment, in relation to my behaviour, whether it was perceived, actual, or largely implied, on the 3rd, 7th, or 14th of this month – or the month before, or the month before that (I do have an alibi, and an excuse for the 9th and the 23rd or 24th, depending on the Spring tides – but said, or written alibi, I am not at liberty to divulge the details).

I am thus hoping that this will alleviate our difficulties, pour water on our infernal internal wranglings, or be enough to strain the treacle of our differings through the socks of our amiability.

If anything that I once said, or did – or thought about saying, or doing – has caused you concerns, I do sincerely hope that the enclosed blank check will go some way to evening out our issues – please do not worry that it is unsigned, I haven’t the monies to cover it anyway, such are my financial straits, and such is life.

By the way, the set of antique silver spoons that I ‘borrowed’ from your delightful residency helped to cover my travel expenses; the rest of the canteen of cutlery was taken and sold purely for profit – I thank you for them.

Furthermore to the above, if you could kindly advertise in the national newspapers when you have replaced said items, I may perhaps be of a mind to consider a return visit; and, if, when you are fully replete once more, could you please get some different biscuits in for when I do pop by – Rich Tea are so boring.

Anyway, hoping that this finds you in good health, bed, or some other state, and your herb garden is thriving – not a euphemism – and all is well at t’ mine, at sea, and in the air.

Yours faithfully

Algernon Nonn

Charity Poetry and all that Pizazz!

Charity Poetry and all that Pizazz!

Charity Poetry for a worthwhile Causley;

stopping the flow, for an instant – Pausely!

Chuck Charles, he’s a Charlie.

If you choose a rusk…

then choose—

no advertising is here permitted

and brand focussing is limited

to none or not at all;

I hear the call of Distant Drums

as my guitar gently strums

and the strimmy-thing strims –

I try to retain ‘all’ of my limbs.

Meaning? Also none;

just written words,

written for a bit of fun.


April The Twelfth.

April The Twelfth.

(Pre-Poem Bit)

April was the twelfth knight in her family;

mother, father, eight of her brothers, and her brave cousin Glance-a-Lot the Nervous.

Sadly, they all lived in a time when chivalry and jousting were not current things – Networking and Driving Cars, however, were – and so April and her family were anachronisms in this modern era.

Life can be so strange for a family – seven centuries earlier April’s ancestors had been deemed witches for trying to build a global business contact base and trying to fit engines to carts.


Many centuries ago

when the world was young;

and people lived in huts,

and gathered dung;

rode on foot, and lived short lives;

knew not how to read or write;

the most common motto of a knight:

‘He who lives, survives’

there was a family who

tried to build fast carts,

and network, too;

they were burnt as witches,

all but one;

who snuck away quietly,

counting glitches,

until those days were done;

many centuries later

she came forth

in a modern-day joust

somewhere in the north

of England.