Tag Archives: #nonsense

The Skunk’s Junk

A skunk’s junk

Won’t fit in a trunk;

Because the elephant,

Who owns the trunk,

Remembers a time

When the skunk was a punk;

And how he stunk.
The skunk’s stripe he had died pink;

I think, to rage against the Man.

He had no plan;

And, now, he just wanted to slam-dunk his junk.
“No!” said the Ellie

“You are still a bit smelly;

And ‘I’ need my trunk,

You silly young skunk;

Why don’t you put your junk into storage?”
The skunk was shocked;

His little world was rocked;

He’d never seen a talking elephant before.

He turned his tail

And encountered a whale

That had storage

For sale,

In a shed,

In a tent,

By the shore.


The Ning!


The Ning – 11-10-2015

I saw a ‘Ning’
The other day
Upon the moor
It was a moor Ning
‘Haha!’ I hear you say
But, that may be just my imagination
Gone astray.

In some other reality
Some other universe
Where, when it comes to poetry
The worse the verse the better
Which is quite perverse
Or, even, just the ‘reverse’
Of here.
There, there may be some hope for me
(Do you see?)
A parallel dimension
Where I could be the king
Of their poetry thing –
Now wouldn’t that be nice…
Sorry? You’re going to buy me a one-way ticket there… whatever the price!

In the queue (I was not)


I saw you in the queue;
In fact I saw two of you –
How strange!

You were second in the queue;
And you were also fourth in the queue –
How strange!

After the one in front of you
You would be next –
But, you would look strange
If you were at the start of the queue –

And if a Uqueue had three of you
I don’t really know what I would do
But, thinking about it
I wasn’t in the queue.

Was e?



A fibber
With a dibber
Said “Stand up and deliver;
Your monkey or your knife!”
I knew he was lying
By the knots he was tying
In his bed sheets, he was just trying
To escape from his life.
A life full of porkies
Roast thief and Yorkies
Where the truth hurt his thing that rhymes with Yorkies
And caused him oh so much strife.

I am Just a Silent Bee

Listen... can you hear me?

Listen… can you hear me?

I am just a silent bee
In a hive mind of like mentality
You cannot hear them or me
We are as silent as we can be.

And here’s the rub
“Buzz! Buzz!” Is not uz
No “Rub-a-dub-dub!”
We are as quiet as the quietest church mouze
We wouldn’t want to cause a fuzz.

And if you ever did hear uz
We wouldn’t be going “Buzzety Buzz!”
While we were a tooing and a froing;
We’d be singing
(ever so quietly)
“Honey, honey, honey…
Must be funny…”
Strangely enough
Was written by a bee
Bee a…

The Chipping Norton Shipping Forecast!


The Chipping Norton
Shipping Forecast

Rainstorms brewing
All norms out of syncopation
Wind and gales arriving
Across land and through the air
Thunder claps likely
And perhaps a hurricano or two
Chances of snow; though, this, is improbable
And if you know what’s best for you;
Probably you should lay low
And keep indoors
Upon all fours
And maybe you could try to see out
The hullabaloo that is likely to occur
But, it’s doubtful,
We concur,
If it will occur



Oops! Pardon-Pardon me
I have just returned from Baden-Baden;
Before that I was in Bora-Bora,
Where I had arrived on a jet from New York, New York.

I was recuperating in bed (being attended to by a so-so nursey-nursey) after having been bitten by a black rat (rattus rattus, to give it its Latin name) and following a bout of beri-beri (from drinking badly purified water – which is an absolute no-no.

So, if I am not to end up as dead as the do-do, and continue being the world’s yo-yo champion; I shall have to recover.

However, I still have a few places left on my bucket bucket list:

I want to sing like a canary in sing-sing;
Boogie-woogie in Wagga Wagga;
Swim soon in Langa Langa Lagoon;
Do circuit training in Loop Loop;
Take a tour or two in Tourtour;

And many many more…

Where do you want to go-go?