Tag Archives: #nonsense

Trelawny – A Song (My Silly Version)

Silly Song – Trelawny.

It’s mainly in GMaj and CMaj, the odd DMaj can be added if you wish – play brightly and breezily.

And shall Trelawny live

Or shall Trelawny die

there’s four and twenty blackbirds

baked in a pie-

Oh, no, them’s not the words.

And shall Trelawny live

or shall Trelawny die

there’s four and twenty Cornishmen

baked in a pie-

no, no, no, that’s not right.

Not enough Cornishmen!

And shall Trelawny live

or shall Trelawny die

there’s forty thousand Cornishmen

baked in a-

No, that pie is gonna be ‘huuuge!’

Better stick to twenty-four.

Even that’s gonna be a bit tight in the oven.


Stretching the facts, somewhat.


Go with me on this:

All daffodils are yellow,

and all daffodils are flowers;

therefore, all flowers are daffodils,

and all flowers are yellow.

Wallflowers, on the other hand

are made of brick

and Cornflowers, apart from telling bad jokes,

are related to the Corn-plaster, the Cornflake and the Cornetto.

All wild flowers sometimes become almost livid,

Some are quite restrained,

the livid ones are more vivid,

the restrained ones are usually released after questioning.

There is a suggestioning

that some or all of the above

is wrong, or, at the least untrue.

Perception is everything,

I leave the knowledge of choice

to you.

With Socks

‘With Socks’

With my socks on –

even if they are not on show –

I know

that no harm can come to me:

They give me superhuman powers.

They also stay fresh for hours,

and help cushion my feet from the pound of the road.

Ancient Britons, all painted in woad, wore socks.

The Testament Shepherds tending their sheep wore them, too.

People have worn socks from Aberdeen to Crewe

with never a toe

Peeking through.

Socks with holes in can be darned:

but, wearing them like that can be uncomfortable – you have been warned.

It’s debatable

as to whether they should match

or mismatch;

through choice or perchance;

the populace lends it’s voice

to the swelling debate

of ‘wear what you find!’,

or ‘find one sock’s mate!’

It is said that socks are monogamous,

they pair up for life:

but, this theory has been disproved,

a sock can have many a husband

or many a wife;

and outrage at a mixed-sock marriage

is rather passé, you see;

anyway, it makes no difference

to a non-socksist, like me.

Without Socks

Bear Feet

Bear Feet

‘Without Socks’

Without socks

I feel naked,

and everybody seems to be looking at me.

Without socks

I am shaky,

my coordination lacks focus;

and, I become clumsy.

Without socks

I am not properly dressed –

why did the good Lord create them so if I was not to have been blessed

with socks?

Without socks

education at school,

I would have turned out a fool;

why was there none for me?

Who let the frogs doubt?

Who let the frogs doubt?

Who? Whom? Who?

And who let the owls hoot?

Was it the cat who got the cream?

Or was it just something

from a recurring dream?

The echoes of all those dogs

from long ago?

An image from a Winter’s Tale

whilst surrounded by a drift of snow?


Maybe it was just a passing phase

of Moon and Sun

from yonder days.

I know not,

I just ask the questions;

and await the truth

of your suggestions.

When Nonsense Makes Sense.

I asked a question

the other night;

I got an answer;

it wasn’t right.

I asked the question

once again;

and got a different answer: ten.

The question had no math at all;

I posed the question

to the wall;

the wall replied

with not a word;

it was the wisest

thing I’d heard.

A Silly Poem Just For You.

I was discovered

in a cupboard

nearly forty years later;

I had hidden:

nobody had sought.

I thought

that that

would be the end of it;

but, no;

it caused so much of a fuss

that they had to fill a bus

with melted snow,

just so they could say they had;

times were bad,

though, at times, times

we’re not so bad

as they had been,

or we’re going to be –

although, sometimes, they were.

We, as a community,

do not have total immunity

from sharing a sense of déjà vu;

you, on the other hand,

have no toes,

and a nose

which never glows.