Tag Archives: #NessytheTotnesMonster

A Nessy Moment (Nessy the Totnes Monster)

A Nessy Moment (Nessy the Totnes Monster)

‘She trumped down the high street-‘

(I think you’ll find it’s called ‘Fore Street’)

Oh, right. Thanks.

(And I ‘trumpeted’, I didn’t ‘trump’, that wouldn’t be very dignified, would it?)

No. I suppose not.

‘She trumpeted down the Fore Street,

heralding her path.’

(I like that, ‘heralding my path’ very nice)

Thanks, again.

‘Her fiery breath before her,

daring folk to laugh.’

(Not the best rhyme ever)

I know, but it’s not easy getting a rhyme to fit

when a dragon is being hypercritical over it.

(Better – pray, continue)

Right. Now, where was I?

(‘Fiery breath before her’)

Oh, yes.

‘Her fiery breath before her

clearing people from her path.’

(you’ve changed it)

I have.

(And put in ‘Path’ to rhyme with… ‘Path’)


(A perfect rhyme – be it the same word)

Yes. Shall I continue?

(Please do, I am all ears – and, don’t even think of making a joke there, Sonny)

The thought of… no, I shalln’t.

(You’re learning)

Right. Now, where was I?

(‘Clearing people from my path’)

That’s it.

‘Clearing people from her path;

her hackles were up-‘

(My what?)

Hackles. Isn’t that the word?

(Look it up in a dictionary if you are not sure

incorrect word usage can be such a bore)

But of a poet yourself!

(Many talons, many talents).

Mmmmm. Hackles, Heckles, Hockles? It is ‘hackles.’

(I know, but every writer should check their words – just to make sure, if you know what I mean – and, yes, my hackles ‘were’ up. I was livid)

Thanks for that.

(Have you a rhyme for ‘up’?)

Yes, it’s ‘shut!’

(How touchy you are)

Well, being interrupted all the time is not helping the flow of this… this…



(It seems to be ‘my’ life story. You are writing it. Therefore, ‘biography’)

Oh, who’s a smart monster?

(Need I answer rhetorical questions – no, don’t answer that, your head might explode with the thinking of a witty riposte)

Haven’t you got a village to terrorise?

(Now there’s a thought. I shall see you later)

Nessy departs in the direction of Dartingtown.

Right, where was I? Oops! Talking to myself again.

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie! Parts 1&2!

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie!

They dredged the lake

with a thirty-foot rake;

and a fishing-net with holes.

They sent down divers

with handfuls of fivers;

and iridescent poles.

They looked all around;

but, nothing was found,

it seemed Nessy just wasn’t at home.

Then came a sound,

that trembled the ground;

Nessy had returned from her roam.


”Ness was busy. Ness was ‘always’ busy – it was busy Ness as usual.”


Ness returned from her travels,

where she’d visited family and friends;

and as usual upon nearing her lake, a moment she’d take – for checking and sorting loose-ends.

There was the town, with its people so tasty;

there was the castle; well defended?

Shall I attack it?

No, let’s not be hasty, it’s not a snack, it’s a place were they hide,

and they throw things and shoot things that stick in my side.

There seemed lots of activity down on the shore of the lake;

boats and divers (with hands full of fivers) and men who were cleaning their rakes. Bright poles were stuck upright in the holes obligingly created by moles – which poles served as a defence from attack from the sky.

And there, unguarded, and slightly regarded, at the back, was a small boy in sack cloth and ashes (or the like) who was easily caught by young Ness.

She flew to her lair with the young lad in care; so gently clutched in her talons; she wished she had another, did he have a brother? it would have helped her with keeping her balance.