Tag Archives: #napowrimo2015

It Takes ‘One’ To Have A Conversation – #NaPoWriMo

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“Something cheery!”
Is the cry from my soul
“Give the bleak stuff a miss;
Nobody wants your miserable poems…
Or your depressing tales of woe and lakes that be gone!”

“Haha!” I retort. “That was a convoluted pun worthy of…
… me.”
I consider this a victory of sorts
“And another thing…”
I await the conclusion to this
“…your ‘funny’ poems and stories are
funny ‘peculiar’ and not that funny ‘haha!’ ”
I just consider this
“Have you finished?” I ask –
After a while (it is not the best response; but; I’ll have to make do with the lame duck that it is.
“I could say more; but, you are already unsure what to reply – you are that sort of guy!”
True. Yet, I felt that I needed to respond in a more positive way – but, what to say?
“La la la. Are you ‘rebooting?’ Seems like you’ve slipped into a coma. There’s a definite aroma of defeat in your ‘feet!’ ”
“Very droll!” I counter. “And I suppose that ‘you’ are such a ‘witty’ and unutterably ‘smart-mouthed, wise-cracking, purveyor of repartee, that you are not ‘me!’ ”
“Was that a question? You ended it with an exclamation mark. Your grammar is awful.”
She’s been dead for sixty-five years.”
“No, not your grandma!”
“Do you mean my ‘Nan?’ Thirty-five years.”
“I suppose you are an orphan.”
“Was that ‘rhetorical?’ ”
“Might have been.”
“You’re just playing with me now.”
“You are playing with yourself.”
“Cheeky!”
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“Give myself a stiff telling off.”
“As if that will work!”
“Worth a try.”
“Whatever! Bored now. Gonna leave you to your pond life of a life. Goodbye!”
“Ciao! And good riddance!”
“Don’t you worry, I’ll be back!”
“Thanks for the cheery note, Arnie!”
“Blah! Blah! Blah!”

They part – to be continued.

A Tale of Jack Hughes

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Jack Hughes queues
In shoe-shops;
Because
He looses shoes.

He gets the blues
Because
He never knows
Which shoes to choose.

He accrues shoes;
Because
He doesn’t always loose both shoes
They are also his muse;
He was on The News
About his shoes
(Of different hues)
Upon which he wrote haikus
One of which was:

‘I do love my shoes;
Be they in ones, or in twos;
Yellows, reds or blues.’

.

.
Well, a man ‘has’ to pay his dues.

“Twenty is Heaven!” #NaPoWriMo

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“Twenty is Heaven?”

No, you fool; I said ‘twenty-seven!’
‘You’ are on a holidaze in Devon;
With a soupçon of clotted Cornwall.

“What is that all about?”

Just words; do you ever doubt
That I will throw them at you,
Befeduzzle your brain
Once again?

“I have noticed,” quoth he.
“That ‘that’ is what you…
Do.”

Yes, I am predictable, in a…

” ‘Predictable’ sort of way?”

Precisely!

“Which is why I juggled with the potential (though improbable) possibility that you were to the mind of statementising that ‘Twenty’ was ‘Heaven!’ ”

Ooh! Get you! Had a dictionary for brekkies? Or two?

“Just being like you – though why I should want to try that, twenty-seven knows!”

Touché once more, mon amis.

” ‘Moan at me?’ ”

Sigh.

And Now… The Twenty-Sixth! #NaPoWriMo

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Twenty-six is unlucky
Twice!
But, it has not the bad reputation
Of thirteen.
Except in some people’s heads
And they (we) are the ‘weird ones’
– Allegedly.

Apart from that
Nothing ‘ever’
Has ‘ever’ happened
On the twenty-sixth
Of any month
‘Ever’
Allegedly.

And, further to that,
No-one has ‘ever’
‘Ever’ written a poem,
Or sung a song based upon,
On any ‘twenty-sixth’
Of ‘any’ month-
Ever.
Also ‘allegedly.’

“Twenty-six green bottles…”
“On the twenty-sixth day of Christmas…”
“Only… twenty-six hours from…”
“Into the Valley of Death rode the twenty-six…”
See what I mean?

So, shall I poemicise the number twenty-six;
Enhance its reputation, the shortfall fix;
Or should I leave the Status Quo (like Alan in 1982, I think)
I am poised to write the rhymes, upon the brink
Of correcting the failing;
“No!” I hear you wailing;
“Don’t do it!”
But, I can’t stop myself, avoid, the bit
Where the words sort themselves into poetry
Inadvertently
Fervently
Impertinently
I shall not
It would only be wrot
What I writ!

Wouldn’t it?

5 x 5 = – #NaPoWriMo

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Five square…
“Meals?”
No!
Five squared, is what I meant
But, not what I wrote.

And that equals…
“Confusion?”
No!
Twenty-five, is the answer
But, not the question.

Does that equate?
“To what? The Equator?”
No!
That is just the Earth’s belt
Not the sum of two numbers multiplied.

Are you stupid or something?
“Can you expand on the ‘something’ option?”
No!
It’s a simple choice
And I know which one it is.

And five squared is…
“The sum of all Evil?”
No!
It is twenty-five,
As is negative five squared!

“What?”

Never mind;
We’ll start again at one plus one
“No!”
No?
“No! I’m done with the Math!”
‘Maths!’
“Whatever! I’m done with all this Edumacation.”
And I think it’s done with you.
“Figures!”
Exactly.
“And is this supposed to be a poem?”
Ah! You got me there!
“And you think I’m dumb.”
Touché

April is the… #NaPoWriMo

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“Twenty- four hours
Twenty-four days
Twenty-four April showers
Twenty-four ways to get soaking wet

But, April, with her downpours sweet,
Is almost gone
Soon she’ll wave goodbye, bid ‘Adieu!’ sound the retreat
And will leave us until
Another year comes calling.

It is the ‘cruelest’ month
By some accounts
Or the ‘curliest’ by mine
Who knows which is correct;
But, I think that mine is funkier
Be it less literary-minded
And only seen by a few
One of whom is you
Now, how on earth did you get into my poem?
No matter; you are actually very welcome
And have added some ‘Je n’ai sais quoi’ to it; whatever…
Whatever.
In fact, you are now the iCandy in my ‘Glocken’ spiel
Now, how does that make you feel?”

(Insert answer here)

Really? I thought that you would have been more erudite
In spite of your unpreparedness
For fame and fortune

(There will be little of either)

But, cudos is as cudos does
So a wise man recently said;
He was very humble, too
(And ‘no’ it wasn’t you)

As I was saying,
April awaits to absence itself again
With ‘Arrivederci!’ poised in readiness upon its pursed lips-
Which is a personification
If ever I saw one.

So prepare to say ‘Farewell!’
And ‘Until we meet again!’
Some showery day.

Happy BardDay or Not HappyBardDay? #NaPoWriMo

Happy Bardday
To you
Born in the sixteenth
Died in the seventeenth
Both on the twenty-third
Of the fourth
Known as The Bard
Life was hard
But, he wrote the waves
And the plays

The thing is
That we still revere
His Lear
The last breath
Of Macbeth
His version of
The recently re-interred
Richard third,
And Hamlet, Henry Vee,
Benedict, Beatrice, witches three
And so much more that truth be told
I’ll still be learning them when I grow old.

Will: I tried forsooth to write as best I could / The die was cast, the cast did die; they would.

And, so, I exit stage left pursued by bears.

And a hey-nonny-no

I go!

April Haikus – 21 Today, Happy Birthday, Madge! #NaPoWriMo

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Twenty-one whole days!
And I am no closer now
Than upon day one.

In fact, I do think
I may be further away:
And about to sink.

Which is not funny.
I have a fear of drowning;
In warm salad cream.

Which is a strange thing
To think of drowning within –
It’s not mayonnaise,

However, that’s wrong;
Not a thing to dwell upon;
And a little weird.

Tomato ketchup
Has five syllables. How strange –
Brown sauce has just two.

Why all the sauces?
I have not a Scooby-Doo
Which means: not a clue.

But, seriously;
I must regain my karma –
That’s not a curry.

But, seriously;
And that means no funny stuff;
If I can do that.

Why am I so bad;
Not ‘bad’ in the Byron way,
But, just bad in acts.

As I’m ‘inactive’
Lacking the ‘get up and go’ –
It’s got up and gone!

But, seriously;
I can be serious, honest!
Just takes some effort.

I shall try harder;
Commit to doing my best
And stop the wise cracks.

My resolutions,
Although it’s not the New Year,
Will help me win her.

Oh, yes, I know that!
That I haven’t tried ‘that’ hard;
But, that was back then;

Now I am stronger;
And determined to succeed
Where I failed before.

I’ll have a haircut;
Get myself a bit smarter;
Lose the Mohican!

A short back and sides;
Very smart: but! No money!
Have to rob a bank;

Or get me a job…………
Wow! A tumbleweed moment!
Me getting a job!

And do it today;
Off to the Job Centre Plus
Whatever ‘Plus’ means.

I can get a job;
I can be… a lumberjack!
Yay! Monty Python!

NB This is the 21st (give or take some) in a sequence of quite a few – the others are around and about here somewhere – the whole story makes little or no sense, but, that’s the way that the crumble cookies! G:)

In the 21st Century – #NaPoWriMo

In this 21st Century
They say that ‘Noir’ is the new ‘Black’
I think that, in my education,
I sense a due lack
Is it not a case of black (or ‘Noir’) and white (‘Blanc’)?
There are many shades in between – they say – of grey
(But, probably not ‘exactly’ 50)
‘They’ may be right.
Monochromatic hues would create a significantly less flamboyant rainbow society.
That was a line of prose within a poetic format – fancy that!
Without colour the sky would dim; the landscapes fade and humanity become a weak and watery profanity – such insanity in a world where beauty is ignored, missed or taken for granted.
Where, in the 21st Century, was the last seed or bulb ‘you’ planted?

#NaPoWriMo – Today, I Write…

As I yawn
Pre-dawn
I set out to write
My wrongs!
… or a poem.
Which will be easier?
I know.
So, into poet mode I go

I put my Poet’s Hat on
(And with poet’s style and grace)
I flounder about for a decent rhyme –
I’m all over the place –
With which to fill this space
I feel like I am in stace-
-is.
But, luckily, I am not;
So, pluckily, I continue on
Upon my quest
To pen my best
Words and punctuation
Just for your delectation.

Which will inevitably lead to one of us being disappointed by the randomness in my verse, what with these long lines suddenly appearing, fearing no-one, and spearing the fragile intangible balloon of creative inspiration, or worse.

That is to say
I write this way,
Tomorrow
Today
Yes, today!
And that will probably be
The most
That
You
Can expect from a poet
Like
Me.