Tag Archives: @MattHarvey4

I’m not as flexible as I used to be

I’m a little bit seized up

there’s some rust upon my steel cup;

where I used to flip

now I just flup

turning into a lame fool,

and looking forwards to thin gruel

that I will soon sup.


I’m not as flexible

as I used to be,

I seem to ache almost permanently

I need two new hips

and a pair of knees,

I can’t do Twister…

any more,

can’t do as I please.


I need to oil every joint, daily,

I can’t gambol as a lamb, gaily,

I feel that my body will fail me,


but not discretely.


I’m not as flexible

as I used to be,

I have more of a statue-like quality

than the litheness of a snake,

and an hour it will take

for me

to travel the distance

I used to do in minutes three.


And it’s gonna get worse,

before my trip in a hearse.

“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight!”

“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight.”

He comes from somewhere over the Tamar;

He’s followed the Westerly road;

To see the wizened folk of old Kernow.

“Have a heart!” some cried.

“What a nerve!” others criticised.

“It’s a no-brainer!” Jane and I applied

For tickets to see

The Wonderful Wizard of Odds.

“Come out, come out! People of Cornwall;

Be ye Mayor, Coronor, Or Munchkin’ on your pasty –

Come and see the legend

That we do call ‘Matt Harvey’”

I first met Matt

In the company of leeks;

His salad days,

When he was green;

Since then, I’ve followed from afar

Where he has been.

Almost saw him in Totnes –

But, never did – I guess, too far?

Thought I saw him on a bus;

But it was a looky-likey – what a fuss.

Heard him on the BBC;

Saturday Live,

And doing Wimbledon poetry ‘Fifteen-Love!’

Followed Matt on media then;

Not stalking him, as if, and when?

Now, at last he’s within reach,

His self and poems come to teach

The tiny folk of Munchin’ Pasty Land

Who are looking forward to an evening grand.