Tag Archives: #MattHarvey

My Response to Jane’s Response to Matt Harvey’s ‘Sit’ gig at Calstock Arts, Cornwall.

My Response to Jane’s Response to Matt Harvey’s ‘Sit’ gig at Calstock Arts, Cornwall.

Matt, I was at the same venue,

as Jane and you,

(Claudia didn’t hove into view)

but, Matt, you, alone,

seemed to atone

for never having seen me in the audience before,

and what’s more…

you’re a bright ‘un.

Your words were all

of a decipherable hue;

they spoke volumes

to me, to Jane,

to you, to me,

and back to you, again.

‘Not mere doggerel’,

Jane said.

‘The best of Bodmin More’,

was the only comment that came to my heed,

but I kept it there,

and, nodding –

like one of those dogs that you used to see on the parcel shelf of an old Moggy Minor –

I agreed.

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie! Parts 1&2!

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie!

They dredged the lake

with a thirty-foot rake;

and a fishing-net with holes.

They sent down divers

with handfuls of fivers;

and iridescent poles.

They looked all around;

but, nothing was found,

it seemed Nessy just wasn’t at home.

Then came a sound,

that trembled the ground;

Nessy had returned from her roam.

–//–

”Ness was busy. Ness was ‘always’ busy – it was busy Ness as usual.”

–//–

Ness returned from her travels,

where she’d visited family and friends;

and as usual upon nearing her lake, a moment she’d take – for checking and sorting loose-ends.

There was the town, with its people so tasty;

there was the castle; well defended?

Shall I attack it?

No, let’s not be hasty, it’s not a snack, it’s a place were they hide,

and they throw things and shoot things that stick in my side.

There seemed lots of activity down on the shore of the lake;

boats and divers (with hands full of fivers) and men who were cleaning their rakes. Bright poles were stuck upright in the holes obligingly created by moles – which poles served as a defence from attack from the sky.

And there, unguarded, and slightly regarded, at the back, was a small boy in sack cloth and ashes (or the like) who was easily caught by young Ness.

She flew to her lair with the young lad in care; so gently clutched in her talons; she wished she had another, did he have a brother? it would have helped her with keeping her balance.

TBC

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie!

The Tale of Nessy the Totnes Monster – it’s a biggie!

They dredged the lake

with a thirty-foot rake;

and a fishing-net with holes.

They sent down divers

with handfuls of fivers;

and iridescent poles.

They looked all around;

but, nothing was found,

it seemed Nessy just wasn’t at home.

Then came a sound,

that trembled the ground;

Nessy had returned from her roam.

TBC

“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight!”

“Ding-Dong! The Gig’s Tonight.”

He comes from somewhere over the Tamar;

He’s followed the Westerly road;

To see the wizened folk of old Kernow.

“Have a heart!” some cried.

“What a nerve!” others criticised.

“It’s a no-brainer!” Jane and I applied

For tickets to see

The Wonderful Wizard of Odds.

“Come out, come out! People of Cornwall;

Be ye Mayor, Coronor, Or Munchkin’ on your pasty –

Come and see the legend

That we do call ‘Matt Harvey’”

I first met Matt

In the company of leeks;

His salad days,

When he was green;

Since then, I’ve followed from afar

Where he has been.

Almost saw him in Totnes –

But, never did – I guess, too far?

Thought I saw him on a bus;

But it was a looky-likey – what a fuss.

Heard him on the BBC;

Saturday Live,

And doing Wimbledon poetry ‘Fifteen-Love!’

Followed Matt on media then;

Not stalking him, as if, and when?

Now, at last he’s within reach,

His self and poems come to teach

The tiny folk of Munchin’ Pasty Land

Who are looking forward to an evening grand.