Tag Archives: #Looe

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

Another Few Words Upon Seagulls – as if you needed more.

“What are those gulls doing

up in the sky?

They were there yesterday,

they are there today;

and, by-and-by,

they’ll be there tomorrow!”

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Unwin and Neverwin.

Unwin and Neverwin.

“Can you ‘unwin’ something?” said Unwin.

“Not sure.” said Neverwin. “I’ll let you know if I ever do win something.”

“Didn’t Didwin win something once?” continued Unwin.

“He might have done. It must have been a long time ago.” considered Neverwin.

“He was always entering competitions – so it’s quite likely that he would have won once.” said Unwin, thoughtfully.

Unwin was unsure as to whether just by entering a competition, you were more likely to win, than if you didn’t enter.

“Yes, he entered lots. Though I’m sure he’d have told us if he’d won something. A holiday to Barbados, a hamper of quality goods-“

“A personalised pencil!” interrupted Unwin. “I’ve always wanted to win a personalised pencil.”

“With ‘Unwin’ printed on it?” queried Neverwin.

“Oh, yes!” Unwin’s eyes had lit up. “U.N.W.I.N!”

“Well, dream big, little Unwin – a seagull’s dreams may come true.”

And with that the two gulls lined up the pasty of an easily-distracted holiday maker.

“Tea-time!” they shrieked in unison. “Let’s go and get it!”

Ate My Pasty!

Ate My Pasty!

That seagull,

over there;

the one with the smirk on his face,

ate my pasty!

I only looked away for a second,

and he reckoned that that was time enough – it was;

because, when I looked back,

my pasty bag was empty!

What a numpty am I.

The Seagull Espies

The Seagull Espies

A seagull espied my pasty today;

I saw him; then he saw me, he looked away;

he circled around to take me unaware;

but, I, my pasty, was unwilling to share, so I followed his path,

kept a watch on his place;

he thought for a while,

then a smile came to his face –

and he flew off.

A minute later, there was a cough

right behind me, I turned to look,

a decoy, I beheld, the oldest trick in the book;

and there was my pasty,

gone, in the blink of an eye –

and the two hungry seagulls

laughed, and I did cry.

Upon Seagulls

Upon Seagulls

A seagull laughed at me once;

then laughed at me many times;

but, I wasn’t going to be mocked,

by a seagull;

ideas to my mind soon flocked,

and I knew that I could get back at that gull

within the depths of my rhymes:

“A seagull had a silly laugh,

all the grace of a drunken giraffe;

a habit of being particularly nasty

to a tourist and his pasty;

pinching food with out a qualm;

then perching at a height, so calm;

enjoying its ill-gotten fare

then repeating the feat without a care.”

Oh, that didn’t really seem to work;

I made the gull seem cool,

myself a berk.

It’s hard to mock the feathered ones

that pinch your pasties, nick your buns;

I hear their laughter overhead,

and flinch at them in utter dread.

We are going to Looe.

We are going to Looe.

Excited, we are,

by the fact

that we are toodling

off to Looe, today.

So excited, that I

am word-doodling

about it.

We shall see gulls,

boats, the Banjo Pier,

because all of those things,

when in Looe,

are here.

Walking the lanes,

popping in shops,

stop for a coffee,

Looe is the tops.

And, when all’s said and done,

our day out in Looe

is guaranteed fun.

“To a Mr. Sylvester Swoop Esq.”

“To a Mr. Sylvester Swoop Esq.”

The postcard was addressed to a ‘Mr. Sylvester Swoop Esq., The Quayside, Looe, Cornwall.’

Of course, there was no address like this in Looe, East or West, and a ‘Mr. Sylvester Swoop’ was unknown to the post office and to those asked who lived in that area.

The picture on the front was of a pasty, and the flag of St. Piran was prominent in one corner – however, the post mark was from the town of Paisley in Renfrewshire – most strange.

The message was simple: ‘You can have this pasty, ya black headed- Bandersnatch!’ written, we assume, by an angry hand.

Eventually, after much deliberation, the postcard was pinned to a post on the Quayside at Looe. Perhaps Sylvester Swoop would notice it if he passed.