Tag Archives: #Letter

An important letter arrived in the past, today.

Without this letter

there would be no quiet,

no quicksand,

no Don Quixote,

and no Queensland;

we would have Kwavers,

and Kwizzes,

and Kwesadlllas,

Kwick brown foxes,

and Shakespeare giving us a BanKwo Kwote;

(what ever else could he have wrote)

if it were not for that letter,

the letter Q,

I just don’t know

quite what we’d do.

Furthermore to my recent correspondence—

Furthermore to my recent correspondence,

I wish to add on an additional few lines.

Firstly, upon the manner of my diatribe

against the subject in contention:

I was wrong, you were right,

life is too short for us to fight

over words – no matter how cleverly they are writ.

Secondly, my portrayal of you,

it was a betrayal of the truth,

as neither of us is still in the prime of youth –

so I’ve been told –

in fact: we are both growing ‘old’.

Thirdly, and lastly,

my referring to you as a fossilised being

was wrong,

seeing as I am more decrepit

in every way than you;

true, I am the younger, by months,

and once ran a marathon;

but that was a long, long,

loooooong

time ago.

I know, I should think before I speak,

or write,

but, I do so hope

that an apology now

will help to put things right.

Yours, in all humility –

and just a little senility –

simply saying ‘Sorry’.

Edwin Hruth (Mr.)

to Alice Hruth

my dearest twin sister.

An Apology ( Of Sorts)

An Apology (Of Sorts)

Dear ‘to whom it may concern’

I humbly apologise in writing (if not in actual spoken words) to your good self, your husband, or wife (if appropriate) and to the current members of your fraternity, community, or secret society – those who have dearly departed through resignation of position or cessation of life altogether I heed not, nor apologise to, as they no longer need, or will heed any penitent voicings upon my part.

My apologies are, it must be written, here due, overdue, or strangely arriving at an inauspiciously inappropriate moment, in relation to my behaviour, whether it was perceived, actual, or largely implied, on the 3rd, 7th, or 14th of this month – or the month before, or the month before that (I do have an alibi, and an excuse for the 9th and the 23rd or 24th, depending on the Spring tides – but said, or written alibi, I am not at liberty to divulge the details).

I am thus hoping that this will alleviate our difficulties, pour water on our infernal internal wranglings, or be enough to strain the treacle of our differings through the socks of our amiability.

If anything that I once said, or did – or thought about saying, or doing – has caused you concerns, I do sincerely hope that the enclosed blank check will go some way to evening out our issues – please do not worry that it is unsigned, I haven’t the monies to cover it anyway, such are my financial straits, and such is life.

By the way, the set of antique silver spoons that I ‘borrowed’ from your delightful residency helped to cover my travel expenses; the rest of the canteen of cutlery was taken and sold purely for profit – I thank you for them.

Furthermore to the above, if you could kindly advertise in the national newspapers when you have replaced said items, I may perhaps be of a mind to consider a return visit; and, if, when you are fully replete once more, could you please get some different biscuits in for when I do pop by – Rich Tea are so boring.

Anyway, hoping that this finds you in good health, bed, or some other state, and your herb garden is thriving – not a euphemism – and all is well at t’ mine, at sea, and in the air.

Yours faithfully

Algernon Nonn

#SoCS ‘The Last Piece of Mail I Received’. @LindaGHill

#SoCS ‘The Last Piece of Mail I Received’. @LindaGHill

See here for Linda’s prompt details

It wasn’t hate mail – that’s something;

it wasn’t a love letter, either;

so it must have been one of the other types of letter.

Twenty-six to choose from – I am quite certain, that it may possibly have been a ‘q’ – lower case; and, if that is the case…

Silly, I know, why would it have been a ‘q’? It could quite easily have been a ‘b’ buzzing round.

C what I did there? Actually, ‘I’ did nothing – a big, fat 0 a which is a zero and not an ‘O’. How could u have made that mistake? Perhaps your (or you’re) parrot (it was ‘your’) distracted u with a mis-timed squawk?

Perhaps.

Anyway, all these letters ‘r’ just ‘a’ means 2 an end – which is where we are at.

After the party was over.

After the party was over.

“Wow! Yesterday! What was that all about? Nobody told me that it would end like that! And when! At exactly eleven. On the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the eighteenth year (or is it nineteenth? What does the year nineteen hundred count as?)

Anyway, the twentieth century can now get on with things in a calmer, happier way. These last four years (and a bit) not having been totally a waste of lives.

I bet that in a hundred years they will be looking back upon this “Great War” as the one that finally got people to come together in search of a better world for everybody.”

Ode to the Letter Queue

image

Ode to the Letter Queue

A Bee went to Sea –
Deciding that flying was too easy –
He effectively became a genius
through a life on a notion’s wave
HIJKLMNO – H2O
(Water) now his element.
Peas sang an aria
About his vital essence
To avert tedium
As is the usual practice
Vis a-vis
The double-unicorn theory
Which explains why they became
His edifying goal.

.

.

.

“For those of you who have noticed, and also for those of you that haven’t, there is no Q in the above – that’s because it was a quiet day and there was no Q – G:)

Ode to the letter O

An ode to the letter O

Oh, O
Without you, where would I go
In the world?

.
In the word… ‘Word’
You have pride of place
And above all the other vowels
(That are like field mice to your owls)
O is there for our souls

.
Oh, O
Without you, there would be
No ‘Ho! Ho! Ho!’
And ‘ff t wrk’ we wuld have t ‘G!’
Oh, O!

Oh, O
The Men in their white cats
Are cming fr me nw
Oh!