Tag Archives: Kernow

Hwegh, Hwegh, Hwegh, the number of the (Cornish Duck) Beast.

Hwegh, Hwegh, Hwegh, the number of the (Cornish Duck) Beast.

“Hwegh!” cried out the duck, as he stood upon the sedimentary shore of his village pond.

“Hwegh!” a second time. The other ducks looked up from their self-reflections to see what the fuss was all about, quizzical looks in their eyes.

“Hwegh!” a third time. The ducks looked around and about – there must be something wrong; but, no matter how hard they scanned, near and far, they could see nothing to raise any concerns.

“Hugh is just winding us up.” said Jemima to Daphne,”He can be a little devil sometimes.”

Daphne agreed, and soon the ducks had returned to their self-reflection.

Hugh gaggled like a goose (but quietly) to himself.

When in Cornwall… #1

When in Cornwall… #1

Useful Advice When Visiting the Duchy of Cornwall Nursery Garden Garden Centre Café, Lostwithiel: ‘

Pass the Duchy of Cornwall Leek and Parsnip Drizzle Cake on the Left-Hand Side.’

St. Op. (St. Optimus).

St. Op

St. Op, or St. Optimus, to be correct, is (and was) a little known village a few miles to the North-West of South-East Cornwall; or it may be a few miles to the South-East of North-West Cornwall (one of the two… possibly – other locations are available) and has been little known for over a thousand… years. Not mentioned in the Domesday Book, not Brett’s Peerage, Whittaker’s Almanac, any Copy of the Beano, Dandy or Bunty; St. Op boasts of no famous, curious, or interesting landmarks at all. To be truthful, people have passed through, by, and nowhere near to St. Op without even realising it was there – or caring.

St. Op does, however, have a steadily declining population, estimated at 71 in 1971 and 20 in 2020, although there was a drastic dearth of souls to be counted in the year 2000, but we think that the whole pop. of St. Op may have caught the deadly Millennium Bug, and been cocooned in a nearby hospital (53 miles away) in Truro… or Penzance, or not – whichever answer is likeliest.

Find St. Op on your Ordnance Survey map today, and you will be extremely lucky.

A Little bit of Kernewek is what I’ve got.

A Little bit of Cornish is what I’ve got.

A’gas dynnergh Kernow

‘Welcome to Cornwall!’

I say it a lot,

a little bit of Cornish, is what I’ve got.

‘Eus keus?’

‘Roev sos roev!’

phrases that I’ve learnt from song;

‘Onan hag oll!’ Let’s get along.

‘Nadelik Lowan!’

at ‘that’ time of the year

my pronunciations a little bad, I fear.

“Dydh da; duw genes!

as The Beatles sang,

of this ancient language, I shall get the hang.

A’gas dynnergh Kernow

‘Welcome to Cornwall!’

I say it a lot,

a little bit of Cornish, is what I’ve got.

How can I be the Bard a’Looe?

How can I be the Bard a’Looe?

How can I be

the Bard a’Looe,

when I am

unknown to you?

My poems writ,

and posted here,

never seem to

reappear;

they sink like bricks

in Cornish mud,

I think they shine,

perhaps they’re dud;

maybe my words

are trite and weak,

and it is sad

that I try to seek

the position

that I do…

I only want to be

the Bard a’Looe.

On the A30

On the A30

Moving slowly

on the A Three-O;

having some such

or other

place to go;

then we stop,

and cry, “Oh, no!

Why did we ever take

the A Three-O?”

As I was walking to St. Ives…

As I was walking to St. Ives…

(As there was a very recent earthquake of 0.9 magnitude recorded near there).

As I was walking to St. Ives,

I counted up my remaining lives;

(from the original nine,

six were left;

of three of them,

I was bereft?

then the ground shook,

the earth moved;

you could tell by my look

that I never approved;

I met a man

with his entourage;

he had a plan

and he spoke it large,

“We’re leaving town,

it might fall down;

I normally smile;

but, look at this frown!”

I turned, and joined

his motley crew;

“We are going to Redruth.”

were words he said,

“Woo-hoo!” I replied.

But, secretly, I cringed a little bit inside.