Tag Archives: @infograe. #NaPoWriMo

A Tale of Jack Hughes

image

Jack Hughes queues
In shoe-shops;
Because
He looses shoes.

He gets the blues
Because
He never knows
Which shoes to choose.

He accrues shoes;
Because
He doesn’t always loose both shoes
They are also his muse;
He was on The News
About his shoes
(Of different hues)
Upon which he wrote haikus
One of which was:

‘I do love my shoes;
Be they in ones, or in twos;
Yellows, reds or blues.’

.

.
Well, a man ‘has’ to pay his dues.

Advertisements

“Twenty is Heaven!” #NaPoWriMo

image

“Twenty is Heaven?”

No, you fool; I said ‘twenty-seven!’
‘You’ are on a holidaze in Devon;
With a soupçon of clotted Cornwall.

“What is that all about?”

Just words; do you ever doubt
That I will throw them at you,
Befeduzzle your brain
Once again?

“I have noticed,” quoth he.
“That ‘that’ is what you…
Do.”

Yes, I am predictable, in a…

” ‘Predictable’ sort of way?”

Precisely!

“Which is why I juggled with the potential (though improbable) possibility that you were to the mind of statementising that ‘Twenty’ was ‘Heaven!’ ”

Ooh! Get you! Had a dictionary for brekkies? Or two?

“Just being like you – though why I should want to try that, twenty-seven knows!”

Touché once more, mon amis.

” ‘Moan at me?’ ”

Sigh.

And Now… The Twenty-Sixth! #NaPoWriMo

image

Twenty-six is unlucky
Twice!
But, it has not the bad reputation
Of thirteen.
Except in some people’s heads
And they (we) are the ‘weird ones’
– Allegedly.

Apart from that
Nothing ‘ever’
Has ‘ever’ happened
On the twenty-sixth
Of any month
‘Ever’
Allegedly.

And, further to that,
No-one has ‘ever’
‘Ever’ written a poem,
Or sung a song based upon,
On any ‘twenty-sixth’
Of ‘any’ month-
Ever.
Also ‘allegedly.’

“Twenty-six green bottles…”
“On the twenty-sixth day of Christmas…”
“Only… twenty-six hours from…”
“Into the Valley of Death rode the twenty-six…”
See what I mean?

So, shall I poemicise the number twenty-six;
Enhance its reputation, the shortfall fix;
Or should I leave the Status Quo (like Alan in 1982, I think)
I am poised to write the rhymes, upon the brink
Of correcting the failing;
“No!” I hear you wailing;
“Don’t do it!”
But, I can’t stop myself, avoid, the bit
Where the words sort themselves into poetry
Inadvertently
Fervently
Impertinently
I shall not
It would only be wrot
What I writ!

Wouldn’t it?

5 x 5 = – #NaPoWriMo

image

Five square…
“Meals?”
No!
Five squared, is what I meant
But, not what I wrote.

And that equals…
“Confusion?”
No!
Twenty-five, is the answer
But, not the question.

Does that equate?
“To what? The Equator?”
No!
That is just the Earth’s belt
Not the sum of two numbers multiplied.

Are you stupid or something?
“Can you expand on the ‘something’ option?”
No!
It’s a simple choice
And I know which one it is.

And five squared is…
“The sum of all Evil?”
No!
It is twenty-five,
As is negative five squared!

“What?”

Never mind;
We’ll start again at one plus one
“No!”
No?
“No! I’m done with the Math!”
‘Maths!’
“Whatever! I’m done with all this Edumacation.”
And I think it’s done with you.
“Figures!”
Exactly.
“And is this supposed to be a poem?”
Ah! You got me there!
“And you think I’m dumb.”
Touché

April is the… #NaPoWriMo

image

“Twenty- four hours
Twenty-four days
Twenty-four April showers
Twenty-four ways to get soaking wet

But, April, with her downpours sweet,
Is almost gone
Soon she’ll wave goodbye, bid ‘Adieu!’ sound the retreat
And will leave us until
Another year comes calling.

It is the ‘cruelest’ month
By some accounts
Or the ‘curliest’ by mine
Who knows which is correct;
But, I think that mine is funkier
Be it less literary-minded
And only seen by a few
One of whom is you
Now, how on earth did you get into my poem?
No matter; you are actually very welcome
And have added some ‘Je n’ai sais quoi’ to it; whatever…
Whatever.
In fact, you are now the iCandy in my ‘Glocken’ spiel
Now, how does that make you feel?”

(Insert answer here)

Really? I thought that you would have been more erudite
In spite of your unpreparedness
For fame and fortune

(There will be little of either)

But, cudos is as cudos does
So a wise man recently said;
He was very humble, too
(And ‘no’ it wasn’t you)

As I was saying,
April awaits to absence itself again
With ‘Arrivederci!’ poised in readiness upon its pursed lips-
Which is a personification
If ever I saw one.

So prepare to say ‘Farewell!’
And ‘Until we meet again!’
Some showery day.

Caché Vingt-Deux – #NaPoWriMo

image

If there is a catch
There are probably twenty-two
Or more
Or less
Which is to say
There are

Probably

A lot of catches

Or not.

I ask a question here:

Is a collective noun for a lot of catches a ‘cache?’

I doubt it
It would be ‘too’ much of a cliché.

So Catch 18, I think, was not to be
And it is the twenty-second for you,
Me – everybody.

So, I have to write what I know
And know what I write…

Bit of a problem with that

Something of a situation…

Methinks.

April Haikus – 21 Today, Happy Birthday, Madge! #NaPoWriMo

image

Twenty-one whole days!
And I am no closer now
Than upon day one.

In fact, I do think
I may be further away:
And about to sink.

Which is not funny.
I have a fear of drowning;
In warm salad cream.

Which is a strange thing
To think of drowning within –
It’s not mayonnaise,

However, that’s wrong;
Not a thing to dwell upon;
And a little weird.

Tomato ketchup
Has five syllables. How strange –
Brown sauce has just two.

Why all the sauces?
I have not a Scooby-Doo
Which means: not a clue.

But, seriously;
I must regain my karma –
That’s not a curry.

But, seriously;
And that means no funny stuff;
If I can do that.

Why am I so bad;
Not ‘bad’ in the Byron way,
But, just bad in acts.

As I’m ‘inactive’
Lacking the ‘get up and go’ –
It’s got up and gone!

But, seriously;
I can be serious, honest!
Just takes some effort.

I shall try harder;
Commit to doing my best
And stop the wise cracks.

My resolutions,
Although it’s not the New Year,
Will help me win her.

Oh, yes, I know that!
That I haven’t tried ‘that’ hard;
But, that was back then;

Now I am stronger;
And determined to succeed
Where I failed before.

I’ll have a haircut;
Get myself a bit smarter;
Lose the Mohican!

A short back and sides;
Very smart: but! No money!
Have to rob a bank;

Or get me a job…………
Wow! A tumbleweed moment!
Me getting a job!

And do it today;
Off to the Job Centre Plus
Whatever ‘Plus’ means.

I can get a job;
I can be… a lumberjack!
Yay! Monty Python!

NB This is the 21st (give or take some) in a sequence of quite a few – the others are around and about here somewhere – the whole story makes little or no sense, but, that’s the way that the crumble cookies! G:)