A job opportunity,
their country needs me,
I am the one
though I have a degree
of irreverence.
Not, that the situation ‘Vacant’ sign
upon the door
is not welcome;
it’s just that I won’t be taken seriously,
if I can’t take it seriously,
the job they’re offering me.
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Coppery, #Employment, #irony, #JobOpportunity, #poetry. #poem, humour
Ben: Will! Will!
Will: What ‘tis, Ben?
Ben: Hast thou written a will, Will?
Will: hast thou written a ben, Ben?
Ben: No; but, seriously, Will – hast thou?
Will: No, Ben, I hast not written a… will. Shouldst there be a reason for my doing so?
Ben: The will-writer hath come to town.
Will: Ben! Will the Writer is always in town; except for when he wends his weary way back to Stratford. Then Will the Writer is in the country, Ben.
Ben: Very droll, Mr. William Shakespeare; but, if thou doth, please remember that you hath promised me of your second-best bed – it is a King James size bed – and wouldst well replace my old Queen Elizabeth size one. Will?
Will: I thought I said I wouldn’t leave you my second-best ‘bed-pan’, Ben – Ben being the shortened form of ‘bed-pan’.
Ben: Thank you, Willie Wormwood, Thank you so much!
Will: You are welcome, Bed-Pan.
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Fun, #Jonson, #RenaissanceMen, #silly, #willandben, @Shakespeare, Dialogue, humour
East Cornwall is East Cornwall
and West Devon is West Devon
and never the Twain shall meet
apart from along the length of the Tamar
and that bit up near Bude
Which isn’t technically East Cornwall;
but, you know where I mean,
that bit where the road takes you through about a mile of Devon:
and ‘I was only going to the garden centre!’ is heard.
My first Christmas
was almost my last;
and last Christmas
was our first in Cornwall.
The past is behind us
the future ahead;
we learn how to live
‘cause one day we dead.
I met The Bard again today;
He made me laugh
I had to say;
He’s not normally big on jokes;
And his histories and tragedies
All end with piles of blokes
Littered around the stage
They die to order
Off the page.
But, today,
I laughed at his funny face
And, for a moment,
All was well with the spinning Globe
Of the Human Race .
The Chipping Norton
Shipping Forecast
Rainstorms brewing
All norms out of syncopation
Wind and gales arriving
Across land and through the air
Thunder claps likely
And perhaps a hurricano or two
Chances of snow; though, this, is improbable
And if you know what’s best for you;
Probably you should lay low
And keep indoors
Upon all fours
And maybe you could try to see out
The hullabaloo that is likely to occur
But, it’s doubtful,
We concur,
If it will occur
Anywhere
Near
Here.
Posted in Chipping Norton, nonsense, Shipping Forecast, silly, The Weather
Tagged #Fun, #nonsense, #ShippingForecast, #silly, humour
And now on Toe-in-the-Water Radio, we bring you the latest episode of our continuing ‘Play For This Day’ a tale of ‘star-cross’d lovers’, Wiliam Shakspeare’s Richard & Juliet!
Act 2, Scene 2: The Balcony Scene.
Rich: Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark
Our King Dickie is having a lark
What light from yonder window breaks
It is Juliet, and I am the sun of York.
Juliet: Bog Off, Crookback!
Rich: Whores! Whores! My kingdom’s full of whores!
TBC
Posted in comedy, Play, Tragedy, Wiliam Shakspeare, William Shakespeare
Tagged #parody, #play, #Shakspeare, #Tragedie, #Wiliam, #William, @Shakespeare, humour
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