Tag Archives: #Gulls

“Darn Gulls!”

The darning of gulls

has long been thought of

as a lost craft;

but, recently

the many cries of,

“Darn Gulls!”

at the seaside

makes me think

that the craft

is coming back

into fashion.

“Beware of the Gull!”

“Beware of the Gull!”

Someone, not mentioning any names,

had changed the sign –

or so I thought.


A field, in the country,

and I, wearing a red outfit

(so as to blend in),

was a little bit wary

of being chased by a bull;

but, a gull?!


I looked around,

and there was no bull to be seen;

so I thought I’d continue,

and cross the short-cut green.


I hadn’t looked above.


And, before I had crossed half the distance,

I was swooped down upon,

and from behind

was given a shove.


Well, I dropped my flask,

my sandwich full,

(which was snaffled by one large gull)

and upon the ground

I fell in shock,

and curled up like a little ball,

and down came more gulls,

my haversack to pull,

wherein I had some tasty snacks,

which soon fell prey to the gulls’ attacks.


When I awoke, some hours since then,

I looked up into the eyes of Ben;

Ben was the bull

who wore the sign,

‘Beware of me –

and you’ll be fine!’

Like a seagull in the sky

Twinkle twinkle little boat

on the sea please stay afloat

as up above you I do fly

like a seagull in the sky.


And like a seagull in the sky

I fly above you by and by

whilst down below me, little boat,

all you do is stay afloat.


And if one day, you should sink,

I will fly above, and think

that little boats in stormy weather

need to find a stronger tether.

“Spare a chip for a hungry gull?” #1linerweds

He, or she, asked me, ever so humbly, for a chip, and I obliged, as I am won’t to do; within seconds there was a hullabaloo as many gulls came flying down from above – the cry had gone around the town, “Chips!”


“Spare a chip for a hungry gull?”

He, or she,

asked me,

ever so humbly,

for a chip.

I obliged,

as I am won’t to do.

Within seconds

there was a hullabaloo!

Gulls came flying down

from above –

the call had gone around the town,


Let’s go back to the seaside, where the Beagles steal my chips

Let’s go back to the seaside

where the Beagles steal my chips.


‘Don’t you mean seagulls?’


Beagles and bagels, they all sound the same,

and seagulls and Smeagols, what’s in a name?

A rose, I think, would taste just as nice,

if it was called something different,

something else, twice.

I ought to go down to the beach again

I ought to go down to the beach again

to see the boats and ships;

i’d swim until the tide came in

then watch seagulls pinch my chips.

Old string vest

The gulls flew east,

and the gulls flew west;

I stood there watching them

In my old string vest.


Until, the police came along

and arrested me –

well, it was just a careless oversight, you see;

I wanted to see the gulls flying east,

and the gulls lying west,

and all I managed to put on

was my old string vest –



Glorious birds of the sea,

that mean so much to me;

in picture caught,

as only ought

to be.

The gull and the magpie

The gull and the magpie were deep in conversation

Magpie: Well, there is a song about Magpies.

Gull: indeed. Someone once wrote a book with a gull as the title character.

Magpie: And there is another song about Magpies.

Gull: Two songs! Wow! But… every song there is, that ever was, that has ‘girl’ in the title can be sung using the word ‘gull’ instead. Lots of songs.

Magpie: Really. I think most birds have a song or two written about them: Nightingales, Robins, Eagles, Albatrosses (or Albatrossi), Blackbirds, Magpies, so, it’s nothing special.

Gull. True. But the numbers do favour gulls: ‘Gulls just want to have fun’, ‘It’s different for gulls’, ‘Some gulls’, ‘Gulls, gulls, gulls’, and so on.

Magpie: But Magpies are ‘pies’ and everybody loves pies.

Gull: Maggoty Pie? I think not. Everybody loves gulls.

Magpie: I don’t think that ‘everybody’ does love gulls – have you seen all the signs at the seasides and the quaysides? ‘Don’t feed the Seagulls – they are vicious!’

Gull: No such thing as a seagull. We are all just gulls of the sea. Anyway, we’ve just had a bad press. It’s not as if ‘we’ can put up signs saying, ‘Watch out for the people – they are liable to be vicious if you take their ice-creams or pasties!’

They are holding those things aloft for us, and then they get all upset when we accept their offerings. People are so very stupid.

Magpie: You are very persuasive, gull; and, yet, I do believe that Magpies have had (and do have) more poems written about them: ‘Magpie in a Rainbow’, ‘Magpie up a tree’, ‘The Magpie’, and hundreds more!

Gull; Maybe even a dozen.

Magpie: ‘A gull a day keeps the tourist away’:

Gull: You made that up!

Magpie: some of it. But, I dare say there are many more in that vein.

Gull: Probably. I must say that I do ike you, Magpie.

Magpie: Magpies are very likeable birds, once you get to know them.

Gull: As are gulls.

Magpies: unless you’ve ever lost your ice-cream or pasty to one.

Gull: True, very true.