Tag Archives: #Fish

Plastic Fish

Plastic Fish

I almost bought a plastic fish tank, yesterday;

for my plastic fish;

but, the cost of the pump

and the filtering thing,

along with the gravel and the sunken wreck,

made me think, ‘Oh, what the heck!’

And so I didn’t


“Oh, Silverfish, Oh, Silverfish!”

“Oh, Silverfish, Oh, Silverfish!”

“Oh, silverfish, oh, silverfish;

why are you not golden;

or in a golden pond?

is it beyond you

to change your shiny hue?

Can you not step up the podium

and reach the pinnacle;

are you finnicle?

Bronze, it’s true,

is not a shade for you,

and if you were of that colour

it would be even harder for you

to scale the heights –

mulleting over such problems as these,

I lay ahake through storm-tossed nights.”

Yet Another Poem About (Or Upon) Fish

Yet Another Poem About (Or Upon) Fish

When I was younger

I would write poems just for the halibut;

I’d ignore the Gurnard, and the tiny sprat;

but now I am much older

(and maybe a little wiser),

and fish, as a whole, deserve a little bit more than that;

I now write upon the coley (or pollock, if you like), upon the hake, the herring, the shoal of mackerel, too;

all the fish I shall write upon and read the poem to you:

‘The goldfish in hIs bowl,

swimming round and round;

the grouper on the seabed amazed at what he’s found-‘

and, if at this point,

you are keen to state that you need another fish poem

like a fish would need a bike-

then I apologise

from deep within the cold dead eyes

of a Sea Bass on lush crushed ice.

Lost: Fish

Lost: Fish

I lost my fish in the ocean,

I couldn’t find it anywhere;

and then I had a notion:

I would scan all the fish

when they swam past,

until, at last, I would find my fish –

and I know I would,

as I had had him chipped.

Will & Ben: Renaissance Men – Fish Supper.

Will & Ben: Renaissance Men – Fish Supper.

Will & Ben and the Invention of the Fish Supper.

Little do people know that it was William Shakespeare who first invented the fish supper as we know it today.

It’s creation came about in this strange way…

One night in Southwark’s more salubrious quarters, Will and Ben were downing (and sometimes quaffing) pints of merrry mead when the conversation turned on to the subject of food.

Will: Hast one a hunger, Ben?

Ben: Aye, Will; I hast a hunger for wine, women and song!

Will: Apart from those fine hobbies of yours, Ben, hast thou a hunger for the love of food?

Ben: Well, Will, now that you come to mention it… hast thou any thoughts upon what food we could devote our attentions?

Will: ‘Tis Friday, Ben; and fish is the recommended dish, is it not?

Ben: Yeah, verily, Will: good old English fish cooked in good old English water and served with a good old English apology.

Will: Usually, Ben, I would say ‘yes, you are quite right!’ but I know a place where they will fry the fish for you. I supplied them with a flour-paste coating for the fish – with special herbs – and they coat the fish with it!

Ben: Sounds disgusting, Will!

Will: That’s as maybe, Ben; but, I have gained a taste for it; they will also fry some of Raleigh’s Potatoes for you, if you like.

Ben: Was that also at your behest?

Will: Aye, Ben; I am something of a fish-monger as well as being a word-monger.

Ben: Okay, Will, where is this place?

Will: Up by the Battery.

Ben: Let is do this thing, Will; ‘tid Friday, and we shall suffer fish.

Will: Super, Ben; let us begone hence!

Two Into One

Two Into One

“It all comes back to Looe”

I’ve seen ev’ry menu

from Land’s End to Groats

to see what I could buy

for a handful of notes

From the East Coast to the West

I’ve seen all that there is –

“And what was the best?”

There was nothing I’ll miss

why did I roam

When here at home

there was plenty of fine food to taste

all my travels

all across the land

were a waste.


It all comes back to Looe

no matter what I do

where e’er I go, it’s always true,

that I’ll always come back to Looe

The Haggis of the the North

is a fine looking beast

And the pudding of Yorkshire

is grand;

but why did I travel

so many miles

when my saviour was so close to hand.

And, it all comes back to Looe

No matter where you go

or what you do

wheree’er go, it’s always true,

that it all comes back to Looe

(and I choose)

“Fish, Chips & Mushy Peas”

“I’ve looked on the menu,

so many things to please;

but, I know what I want…

it’s fish,

chips, and mushy peas.

Fresh from the sea,

especially for me;

nothing beats the delicacy…

of fish,

chips, and mushy peas.

With Tartare Sauce,

A tour de force

add it to my…


chips, and mushy peas.

Salt and Vinegar,

Sprinkled all over

add them, please, to my…


chips, and mushy peas.

And wrapped up in yesterday’s newspaper?

No. Not served up like that anymore,

Now in a carton, or plain paper, my…


chips, and mushy peas.

And a wooden fork?

All part of the service

to add to the splendour

of my…


chips, and mushy peas.

The Place (and Plaice) I Love

The Place (and Plaice) I Love

The Place I Love by The Jam

When The Jam sang about ‘the place I love’ being ‘a million miles away’ they weren’t talking about fish.

Then again, a million miles away is not a realistic distance for a place (or a fish-type plaice) to be away from anyone, anyway.

A million miles away would get you well past The Moon (which is somewhere between 225,000 and 252,000 miles away from the Earth) and well on your way into nowhere in particular.

So, if you had to go to the Moon and back, twice, that would be about a million miles travelled. But, you still wouldn’t be a million miles away from anywhere on Earth.

Plaice (the fish) swim in the sea. They have no knowledge of interstellar travel and live their lives without having to dwell upon mathematics.

BTW The plaice I love is called ‘flatty’.