Tag Archives: #FF

The Tenant of Trenant Hall

The Tenant of Trenant Hall

by

Anne Brontosaurus

You must go back with me to the Autumn of 1827 – sorry, you must go back with me to 18:27 one Autumn evening a few years ago – the exact date shall remain suitably vague so as to protect the innocent – to that most audacious of country manors, Trenant Hall.

.

TBC

One liner Wednesday – Cinnamon.

I am a cinnamon, but I pray every day to the Irish God to forgive me.

PC Winters Enters – #DialogueForAPlay

NB PC Winsome Winters always refers to his notebook for detail, and is constantly updating it.

SD PC Winters Enters

PC Winters: I have arrived hot foot from the station, Sarge!

WPS Wispy: Foot? Not ‘feet’, Constable?

PC Winters: Oh, yes, ‘feet’ it is, Sarge. Let me just write that down. (there is a slight pause) ‘Feet’.

WPS Wispy: Marvellous. And your reason for running all the way here, Constable?

PC Winters: Ah, let me just consult… my notebook. (there is a slight pause) Feet! No. (Another pause) Ah, yes, here it is. ‘Tell WPS Wispy that Romeo and Juliet are doing the Foxtrot Tango.

WPS Wispy: I see. That’s good. Can you let DC Acey know that Papa’s got a brand new bag.

PC Winters: (writing) Tell DC Acey, ‘Papa’s got a brand new bag.’ Right-o.

SD PC Winters leaves.

WPS Wispy: The boy is a fool, a good-natured fool, but a fool nevertheless.

Beehive Behaviour

“Children, children, children, children,

children, children, chil—‘ said the Queen bee.

‘What on earth is going on this morning?

I made up your sandwiches, filled you all a flask, and all I ask is a little peace and quiet – and it’s just chaos!

“It’s bedlam!” cried the Queen bee/

“Well, ma’am…” said one particularly brave worker bee, “it’s our beehive, you see.”

“And what is wrong with the beehive?”

“Well… it seems to be perched upon the top of somebody’s head!”

One day…

One day, the ants were out for an amble— when, all of a sudden they heard a loud wailing siren, and saw blue flashing lights!

A cry went up from the vehicle, ‘Amble Ants!’ and, luckily, all of the ants managed to amble to safety.

Swapping Tales

A young man trying to do an old man’s job met an old man trying to do a young man’s job – they swapped their tales; and, afterwards, both were better able to do their job.

Stolen, Sunk, or just Floated Away.

Where is the island?

Over there!

Where?

There! Behind the mist!

I can’t see it. Are you sure it’s there?

It was there last time I saw it!

But, what’s to say that it’s still there now?

It just is, alright?

It might have been stolen, sunk, or just floated away.

Really?

Might have.

Yes, there is a possibility, though not a probability.

I reckon it sank, without Tracey.

Sorry?

I meant, ‘without a trace’.

Yes. I can see that now.

Where?

Oh, good grief!

‘Never say rabbit on a train’

Never say rabbit on a train –

I know, not a boat, a train;

because if you do (but you shouldn’t, so don’t);

but, if you do, who knows what will happen?

Everybody has a book in them

“It is said that ‘everybody has a book in them’; well, I’ve just seen my x-rays – and it’s true!”

At least a stopped clock is right twice a day.

At least a stopped clock is right twice a day.

A stopped perpetual calendar, on the other hand…