You, you lift me up…
then you bring me back down again…
with a bump!
I suppose it’s all that you can do,
within the confines of your remit,
and your aperture.
But, once, at least,
couldn’t you just transport me
to another, better, dimension,
where nice things happen a propos of nothing?
“Hello, good morning to you;
Would you like to pick a floor
To travel to?
Floor 1 can be fun
Though, at this time of year,
You may need a hat.
Floor 2 I can recommend to you
There is nothing there to be afraid of… now;
The management have assured me of that.
Floor 3 has virtually been rebuilt after the ‘incident’
So, maybe skip that floor for the time being; it’s not worth seeing.
Floor 4 isn’t there anymore. We lost it; where? we are not quite sure.
Floors 5, 6 and 7 have been altered into one ‘HUGE’ floor – almost a haven, or a heaven, that is very useful for hang-gliding lessons – if little else, sadly it is impossible to get a hang-glider through this door.
Floor 8 (my favourite) is currently being prepared for an all-singing, all-dancing ‘Quiet’ area – where you can relax and spend time contemplating your navy (or your navel – I get those two mixed up). Remember to bring earplugs, or that sort of thing.
Floor 9 is the place for our Basement Sale – we currently have 37 different basements up for grabs at less than retail. With prices (that are soon set to rocket) to suit any pocket – as long as you are a milliner.
Floor 10 is our Penthouse Suite – it’s for the elite; you cannot get in without a pass: or by crossing my palm with adequate brass.
Floor 11 is currently on loan to a nearby building; they needed it for a presentation on catering and pikestaff wielding.
Please press a button. Any button.”