Monologue, Duologue, and Trialogue.
SD Monologue and Dialogue are somewhere in Scotland. The weather is a bit grim, as usual.
Mon: Is this a dagger that I see before me?
Duo: Hey, MackyBee, I can’t see any dagger; are you sure that you can see one?
SD Enter Trialogue.
Tria: Mon Dieu! Hey, you two, What’s going on here? I thought that we were all meeting at The Heath for a pint when all the hurly-burly was good and done!
Mon: The handle toward my hand…
Duo: Listen, Mac, I really don’t see any daggers. (to Tria:) I think he’s been on the funny-juice again?
Tria: Well, He won’t be winning or losing any battles if he’s carrying on like this, will he? Lay on MacBeth – and lay off the funny-juice!
Mon: Come, let me clutch thee!
Duo: Steady on, old chum; I know your missus has been driving you hard lately; but, that’s no reason to look Elsinore-where for your home comforts.
Tria: Funny, hahahahamlet! Well, I don’t know about you two idiots – I really don’t – but, I’m off out on the dusty road to The Heath for a quick Bloody Mary and a packet of Queen Elizabeth Potato Crisps, before they close.
Duo: Ooh, that sounds like a plan. (to Mon): Are you coming, Beth?
Mon: Thou marshall’st me the way that I was going.
Tria: Aye. That we are. You’re both welcome to join me; although, I’m not sure if they’ll be too happy about letting us in if we’re carrying any of those imaginary daggers, like.
Duo: Oh, it’s just Mack the Knife there; he may have been bitten by a shark.
Duo: No. It’s from a song. Let’s get going. (To MacBeth) Last one there buys the first round!
SD Duo and Tria leave for The Heath.
Mon: I see thee not…
Tria (offstage): That’s because we’re way off to the pub, pet!
Duo: (offstage): We’ll put it on your tab! Don’t be long, the bell for last orders will soon be ringing, and Duncan the Landlord is a stickler for ‘time-keeping’.
Tria: (Now with Duo Centre Stage, to Duo): The chances of him buying a round are as likely as Birnam Wood moving to Dunsinane. (to Mon): Tight-wad!
Duo: (to Mon): If we don’t see you at The Heath, we’ll see you tomorrow.
Mon (now he is offstage): And tomorrow, and tomorrow.
Tria (to Duo): You’re right, he’s certainly one witch short of a coven. Come on let’s get a wiggle on and we might just catch the karaoke.
Duo: On, no; I’m not partnering you on ‘Summer Nights’ again.
Tria: But, you make a wonderful Sandy.
Duo: Oh, really?
Tria: Actually, I reckon Maccy B would make an even better Sandy. (Mimics MacBeth) I’ve got daggers… they are multiplying…
Duo (also mimics MacBeth): And I’m losing control!
Tria: That just about sums up his situation.
Duo: Anyway, let us do karaoke first and have a drink after.
Tria: Aye! For alcohol, it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Duo: And there’s nothing worse than a witch belting out Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’ when she’s had a few double-troubles!
Tria: Fair’s fair; but may I remind you of that time that you and Macbeth sang Status Quo’s ‘In The Army Now’?
Duo: Oh, yes, Status Quo, I remember; it should have been banned?
Tria: Ban Quo? Surely not!
Exit Stage Left pursued by a tragic ending.
Duo and Tria (singing, if it could be called that): Those Summer Ni-iiiights!’
Audience Member: Tell me more, tell me more…