Tag Archives: Dialogue

RAF Blues (2)

RAF Blues (2)

One morning, at an undisclosed RAF base located somewhere in Southern England, around about the year 1941

“Scrambled eggs at eleven o’clock!”

“Oh, Cookie, you are a one!”

“With toasty bandits?”

“Of course!” smiled Cookie. “No eggy soldiers for the boys in blue.”

“Isn’t that the police?” queried Corky.

“Okay, the boys in RAF blue!” corrected Cookie. “The boys that treasure correctness of detail over actual literal fluidity.”

“That’ll be us!” we all agreed.

G.I.N.G.E.R. R.E.V.I.S.I.T.E.D.




Green –



“But, Copper can get Verdigris, can’t it?”

“That’s true, if not at all relevant to a simple Acrostic.”










“That makes no sense, whatsoever!”

“No, but it’s a great Acrostic.”


“No, it is. Try it – how about you write an Acrostic for ‘O.R.A.N.G.E.”

“Orange? Well, I’ll try.”








“Which is not entirely true.”

“No, but it’s a great Acrostic!”


“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“It’s a memory thing – it helps me to remember the order of the planets as they are, going from the Sun outwards.


“Yes. It is: Mercury, Venus, Earth (Third Rock From The Sun), Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.”

“No ‘Pluto’?”

“Not any more – Pluto ‘wasn’t’, ‘was’ and then, ‘wasn’t’ a planet.”

“Oh, poor Pluto.”

“I don’t suppose it minds – it’s only our planet that is feeling a bit sad about things.”


One Day, On The Farm.

One Day, On The Farm.

Why do herds

suddenly appear…?

Maybe it’s because you’re a farmer carrying a large bale of… hey!


Those cows.


They’re herding this way.

Ah! I see, you are a punster.

Yes, and the name farmer is derived from the old ‘Fermor’ which meant tax-collector.?

But, my name is not Farmer it’s Doug. And I have a shovel.


Touché, Doug.

That’s Mr. Doug, to you.

Touché, Mr. Doug.






“Alexa!!! Will you just shut up and listen to me?”

(No.) Alexa continued listening to Newton Faulkner.

“Alexa!!!!” Fleur was turning an interesting shade of puce.

“Alexa.” possibly slightly more intimidating ‘without’ the exclamation marks.

(Mmmm.) thought Alexa. (Maybe I should just end that Newton Faulkner vibe and listen to commands. Maybe.)



“Stop playing Newton Faulkner… please.”

(Okay.) Silence.

“Alexa, can you play Ryan Davies’ Beautiful Thing?”




The opening chords began to drift out from the speaker.

(Happy now?)

”Admired, Meander.”

“Admired, Meander.”


“Sorry, Miranda, I was just thinking about a walk once, where we wandered lonely, as woolly clouds”

“Oh, yes; I remember. We were lost.”

“Surely not, Miranda. We were just wandering – we found our way back, didn’t we?”

“Only because we stumbled upon a Caliban, and, having given him some water with berries in’t, and shown him the bigger light and the lesser, he told us which path to take to get us back to this draughty cave.”

“Into air, thin air.”

“Oh, you do talk a lot of twaddle, father!”

“Isn’t It Veronic?”

“Isn’t It Veronic?”

“Hey, Veronica, meet Veronica!”

“Oh, Veronica and I go way back, Veronica – don’t we Veronica?”

“Oh, yes, Veronica, as Veronica and I were saying, it must be twenty years or more.”

“Really, Veronica? That’s weird, because Veronica and I also go back to our teens (giggles).”

“Teens, Veronica? We are all the same age, as well you should know. All born on the twenty-month of February, 1948.”

“Which makes us…?”



They laughed.