Tag Archives: Dialogue

Bird Song

I was sat in the garden,

listening to the bird song

‘with a little bit of this,

and a little bit of that…’

it was going to be

one of those mornings.

Population Question.

Historian: … and it came to pass, that the worlds population was divided by half –

Think on that… the worlds population… divided by a half…

Audience Member: But…? Doesn’t that mean, that, the population doubled?

H: What?

AM: Dividing something by half doubles it.

H: No. Doubling it, doubles it.

AM: Okay. I’ll leave you to do the Math on that one.

H: Maths!

AM: Whatever.


ALT: Come into the garden, Maud;

for the Black-Backed Gull has flown…

Maud: Great!

ALT: I thought you’d be pleased.

“I have a ‘What’ allergy.”

“I have a ‘What’ allergy.”

“A ‘what?’ “


“Hey, Google, can I have some audience applause, please?

“Hey, Google, can I have some audience applause, please?

“Hey, Google, can I have some audience applause, please?

SFX Audience Applause.

“Thanks, Google – could you pop in a few cheers, too, please?”

SFX Audience Applause with a few cheers.

“Great! Thanks, Google. Now, can you hold that in readiness for if (or when) I need it?”

Google: Audience Applause with a few cheers is waiting your instruction.

“Marvellous. Let’s get on with the show.”

Out of Context

Out of Context

I left old Context town behind me; I was happy to be out of a place where I just didn’t fit in.

Ouzo, King of All England

Ouzo, King of All England

I heard you are writing a story.

Yeah, I’m doing the great story of England.

The great story?

Yeah the one about Ouzo


Yeah the young lad, Ouzo – everybody knows it.

I don’t know it.

Yes, you do.

No, I don’t. How does it start?

With these words, ‘Ouzo ever pulls this sword from this stone and anvil..’