Tag Archives: Dialogue

“Shall we meander, Miranda?”

“Shall we meander, Miranda?”

One day, on the Island.

“Shall we meander, Miranda?”

“Yes, let’s! When, father?”

“Straight ‘way, Miranda.”

“Oh, dad!”

And off they toddled, at once, upon their winding way.

Dr Wholittle and the Planet of Verbeaux Sanimaux.

Dr Wholittle and the Planet of Verbeaux Sanimaux.

It was a quiet day on Verbeaux Sanimaux when the Doctor arrived – the Tardis causing some unexpected excitement, that nobody was expecting.

The dust had barely settled around the (time and relative dimension in space) craft, before the planet’s welcoming committee (of three ducks and a black and white cow) had arranged themselves to greet the visitor (or visitors).

The Doctor opened the door of the strange blue spaceship, and leapt from within, to without.

“Hi, and hello!” he carolled.

The ducks and the cow – observing Verbeaux Sanimaux’s quaint, and old-fashioned, tradition – launched into the three-hour long spiel, that was designed to test the fettle and the mettle of newcomers to their planet.

The Outcry

The Outcry

Narrator: There was a great outcry..

OMNES: Out!!!!!

Narr: Sorry… there was a great cry of ‘Out!!!!!’

OMNES: (silence, then a varied whining) We’ve already done it.

Narr: Hmmm. Soon, they were clutching at straws.

OMNES: What!!!!!

Narr: Sorry, they were soon to be found clutching their handbags at Straws’ Discothèque.

OMNES: A handbag!!!!!

Narr: One? Between the lot of you? Oh, well, whatever.

Mrs Botter and the Case of the Bitter Batter

Mrs Botter and the Case of the Bitter Batter

“Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter’s bitter.

If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.

But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.

So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,

put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.

So it was better Betty Botter bought some better butter”

“And that is Mrs. Botter’s defence, is it?”

“Yes, m’Lud.”

“And is there anybody who can confirm the veracity of Mrs. Botter’s… tale?”

“Well… we do have a lady that sells seashells on the seashore… she saw something.”


“Yes. She swears she saw several sea-urchins sauntering southwards, sometime soon after six-seventeen, Sunday the Sixteenth.”

“Around the time that Roger Rusk, retired Landlord of the Rugged Rock ran those ragged rascals out of Rockpool Town?”

“Indeed, m’Lud.”

“Then the case is solved.”

“It is?”

“Indeed, it is; my unlearned gentleman of the persecution. Mrs. Betty Botter – formerly of Quick Brown Fox Incorporated – is a notorious felon with a long history of telling tales and demeaning all kinds of foodstuffs – I do believe her to be the sole perpetrator of the crimes heretofore listed against her.

I pronounce her very guilty of rhymes against the saying of.

Therefore, I sentence Mrs. Betty Batter to a long and lonely life, living and languishing, longing for a little largesse, lofty latitudes, lengthy literal lunches, lasting levity and late lolly-gagging laughter. Let that be a lesson to her.”


RAF Blues (2)

RAF Blues (2)

One morning, at an undisclosed RAF base located somewhere in Southern England, around about the year 1941

“Scrambled eggs at eleven o’clock!”

“Oh, Cookie, you are a one!”

“With toasty bandits?”

“Of course!” smiled Cookie. “No eggy soldiers for the boys in blue.”

“Isn’t that the police?” queried Corky.

“Okay, the boys in RAF blue!” corrected Cookie. “The boys that treasure correctness of detail over actual literal fluidity.”

“That’ll be us!” we all agreed.

G.I.N.G.E.R. R.E.V.I.S.I.T.E.D.




Green –



“But, Copper can get Verdigris, can’t it?”

“That’s true, if not at all relevant to a simple Acrostic.”










“That makes no sense, whatsoever!”

“No, but it’s a great Acrostic.”


“No, it is. Try it – how about you write an Acrostic for ‘O.R.A.N.G.E.”

“Orange? Well, I’ll try.”








“Which is not entirely true.”

“No, but it’s a great Acrostic!”


“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Noodles.”

“What on Earth are you talking about?”

“It’s a memory thing – it helps me to remember the order of the planets as they are, going from the Sun outwards.


“Yes. It is: Mercury, Venus, Earth (Third Rock From The Sun), Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune.”

“No ‘Pluto’?”

“Not any more – Pluto ‘wasn’t’, ‘was’ and then, ‘wasn’t’ a planet.”

“Oh, poor Pluto.”

“I don’t suppose it minds – it’s only our planet that is feeling a bit sad about things.”