‘Why are you here today?’
‘Why is anybody here today?’ came the reply.
‘And why are you asking such dumb questions?’
I hadn’t expected such rudeness, least of all from myself. It was a shocker.
‘You need some new shock-absorbers then.’ came the response to my unspoken question.
I sighed, it was going to be one of those days.
“Shall we just skip tomorrow?”
.
“Miss a day out?”
.
“Well, it’s only a Wednesday; different if it had been a Friday, or the weekend.”
.
“True – and we’ll go straight to Thursday.”
.
“One day closer to that aforementioned weekend.”
.
“Yay!”
.
“But what about everybody else?”
.
“Them? They will have to get through Wednesday as Best as they can.”
.
“Under their own steam.”
.
“Making their own Wednesday mistakes.”
.
“And good luck to them I say.”
.
“I think I’ll just say to them: ‘See you later, suckers!”
“Are you related to Henry V?” I asked.
.
“No. My surname is King, his is probably Vincent, or Villiers, or something.”
.
“Henry Something? Something doesn’t even start with a V!”
.
“— or something else that starts with a V!”
.
“Oh, I see; he’s Henry V— V-Something.
.
“Now you’ve caught on. Although…”
.
“Although, what?”
.
“He could be my Uncle.”
.
“How does that work out?”
.
“Henry V is father to Henry VI.”
.
“And Henry V might be your uncle?”
.
“Well, Henry VI King is my cousin.”
.
“Are all your family called Henry?”
.
“Only the men.”
.
“And the women?”
.
“All Henriettas.”
.
“Figures.”
Will: I’m off to Westward Ho! to see the stones.
Ben (SD – said with a veritable lack of enthusiasm): That sounds… exciting.
Will: It does? Good! Because I am excited by the thought.
Ben: I can’t quite see the attraction.
Will: Are you more of an Entomologist, Ben?
Ben: Beetles? I hardly think so.
Will: One or the other, Ben, one or the other.
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Elizabethan, #nonsense, #ShakespeareAndJonson, #silly, #Stuarts, #Tudors, #WillAndBenRenaidsanceMen, Dialogue
Writer (writing): Goats in the mist?
.
Ghosts in the mist?
.
Goats in the midst?
.
Ghosts—
.
.
Reader: Are you still at it?
.
Writer: Yeah! I’m in three weeks now on my new novel.
.
Reader: Wow! How many chapters have you written?
.
Writer: Chapters? I’m still working on the title!
We looked up at the pyramids. Caught in their majesty. Awed by their stature.
“Well, it’s not Cornwall!” I said.
There was agreement all round, and so off we went to check out the Sphinx
“When’s the launch?
“Dreckly.”
“Could you be a little more specific?”
“Eus, I could.”
“And…?”
“Bras dreckly.”
“Bras?”
“Deg wosa naw eur yw. A-vorow. Dy’Lun. Marthys!”
“And what does all that mean? When is the launch?”
“Dreckly.”
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Cornish, #Kernewek, #Launch, #poetry. #poem, #SpaceFlight, Cornwall, Dialogue, Kernow
Will: I’m off to Westward Ho! to see the stones.
Ben: That sounds… exciting.
Will: It does? Good! Because I am excited by the thought.
Ben: I can’t quite see the attraction.
Will: Are you more of an Entomologist, Ben?
Ben: Beetles? I hardly think so.
Will: One or the other, Ben, one or the other.
Posted in Poetry
Tagged #Beetles, #poetry. #poem, #stones, #WestwardHo, #willandben, Beatles, Dialogue
‘Rat-a-tat-tat!’ said the cat.
.
‘Are you calling me tatty?’ asked Ratty.
.
‘No. I just want to come in.’ replied Cat.
.
‘And once you’re in, you’ll want to go out.’ added Ratty.
.
‘Yes.’ affirmed the cat. ‘It’s what I do.’
.
Ratty opened the door. Cat came in. Ratty closed the door.
.
‘I’ll just wait here by the door then, shall I?’ asked Ratty, dryly.
.
‘If you would.’ purred Cat. And to herself, ‘It’s so nice having servants.’
.
Ratty’s eyes followed the retreating Cat.
.
The acrobat just listened and silently watched, whilst hanging upside down from a beam.
Graeme Sandford 