Tag Archives: Daleks

The Daleks Stole My Blueberry Pancakes

Dalek and Blueberry Pancakes
I’ve been considering a thought that crossed my mind only recently.

The thought was this: ‘When would a ‘Dalek’ ever have the need to say the word ‘squirrel?’

I actually doubt whether the word ‘Squirrel’ is actually in the Dalek’s dictionary at all, and if it is; why?

I can’t think of a single situation when a Dalek would even think
of the word ‘squirrel’ – never mind actually saying it!

I don’t know if the Dalek race might, at one time in their history,
have tried to invade the ‘planet’ Squirrel,

or, perhaps, whether the word ‘Squirrel’ might be a Dalek swear word
for when they came across a staircase or a high kerb in their travels!

It makes you think!

Talking of Dr. Who…

 

The Daleks Stole My Blueberry Pancakes – GRS

The script for this following tale was recently turned down by the BBC. I am, therefore, in the happy position of being
able to tell you the tale tonight of when:

‘The Daleks Stole My Blueberry Pancakes!’

SD Dr Who Theme

Picture the scene.

The Place: The Planet Earth.

The Year: Twenty-Thirteen AD

The Time Of Day: Around About Tea-Time.

The Story:

SD Dr Who Theme Excerpt

 

The Daleks stole my blueberry pancakes,

And carried them backwards through time.

Since then there’s been nothing but anguish and heartaches;

How could they have commited such a despicable crime?

 

I know that my pancakes were lovely;

They were destined for my tea that night,

But the Daleks found a way to distract me, (“Look, there is a squirrel!”)

And purloined my pudding – that can’t be right!

 

I’ve been to see (The “Doctor”) my physician,

He filled in a form with his pen,

Then told me with diagnostic precision:

“You will see your pancakes again!”

 

(Then) I popped to the chemists for my medication,

They told me: “Take these, right away!”

I took them, and without hesitation,

travelled back in time (and a relative distance in space) many a day.

 

SD TARDIS Sounds

 

I woke up on Skaro, the planet,

I know it’s fictional, but, what can you do

When you’re stuck in a rhyme, and a Time-Lord

has prescribed what will happen to you.

 

There was Davros, the rotter,

And there… were my pancakes: was I too late?

He turned to me, waving his plunger,

And you know he said: “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

 

Well, I avoided his rays of destruction;

Nimbly, I ducked, I was great!

But, the noise of his fruitless plunger’s suction

Brought twenty more shiny tin Daleks, all calling:”EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE”

 

Well, to cut a long story short, I suceeded,

In rescuing my pancakes and plate,

By magnetising all of the Daleks

And avoiding their cries of “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

 

However,If you think that this plot is quite lacking

In detail… and content (as did the BBC); well, you should know that it’s hard to create

A story with depth and real meaning,

When all your foe says is: “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

 

And, ladies, that Davros, he really wasn’t much of a talker,

I’d not take him out on a date,

When in reply to your thoughts on the weather,

All he could say was: “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

 

—————————————————————————-

Afterword

I returned safely from my exploits on Skaro, and realise now that I must at all times guard my blueberry pancakes with due care and attention, but I have learnt of a food that the Daleks desire ‘even more than blueberry pancakes’; and that food is: ‘Eggs Benedict! Eggs Benedict! Eggs Benedict! Eggs Benedict!’

SD Dr Who Theme Out