Tag Archives: crime

An Agatha.

An Agatha.

The mirror crack’d from side to side

And there is always a steam train

Agatha liked steam

It does seem that way

they say she wrote some of her stories whilst aboard;

or wrote whilst afloat

travelling to Egypt, Mesopotamia or the like.

I don’t know if she ever travelled by bike;

working on a riddle

while balancing upon a saddle.

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A Murder Had Occurred – Part 4 of a June Marble story.

A Murder Had Occurred – Part 4 of a June Marble story.

Part 1 here.

Part 2 here.

Part 3 here.

This was the point where it was decided (by fate) that June Marble should be brought in. An elderly lady, of many, many years experience, June’s name was synonymous with crime detection – and also a certain month of the year.

June had lived in the tiny hamlet-village of St. Merrymeet and had had a hand in solving various murders; in the vicarage, library, at the local train station, and in a dozen stately homes within a radius of thirty miles – some of which were nautical miles. Her exploits were so famous that they had often been written into books – The June Marble Mysteries.

June arrived early – the 27th Of May, to be exact – and soon was up to speed with all the known details of ‘the second, more recent murder’ and the circumstances that may, or may not, have led to it.

A list was made by June, of all the people present at the story-telling meeting, and she started upon a series of interviews with them – choosing the order alphabetically.

Algernon Arbuthnot Andrews, unsurprisingly, was first to be seated nervously in front of June in the Interview Room at the library.

Algernon described in excessive detail to June the recent events and then recounted the events of the original meeting of nearly two years gone. June took a few notes, doodled the picture of a cat in the margin – not entirely irrelevant, she was later to explain.

Algernon referred to a series of notes that he had meticulously taken at both events. The notes were written in shorthand – one of Algernon’s talents;sadly, his deciphering of the shorthand notes was long and laborious. However, many details were given and June jotted down verbatim, and word for word, all that Algernon had to say.

We shall see what conclusions June comes to a little later on.

TBC

A Murder Had Occurred – Part 1 of a June Marble story.

A Murder Had Occurred – Part 1 of a June Marble story.

“… but that’s a different story – one for another time, maybe.”

“Oh!” the room, as one, spoke the stock word of collective disappointment.

“No. I shall finish there – too much of a good thing, and all that!”

We pleaded fruitlessly for a while longer; but, she would, she would, she would not be moved to tell us that story.

It was almost two years later, when she finally chose to remember that she had writer-promised to read a certain story to the group that had been there on that day so long ago.

The exact same people, mind you – she didn’t want to read the story to anybody who hadn’t heard the prequel.

“It was a dark and stormy night, once upon a time, in a land far, far away…” she paused.

“There was a house…”

“Where?” we asked.

“There! There, on the moor.”

“Which moor?” we further asked.

“It matters not – but, let us say it was a moor near to the town of… Bodmin.”

“Bodmin Moor!” we gasped.

“Yes. You are correct. The house was on Bodmin Moor. It was an old Gothic-style house that reeked of mystery… intrigue… and dry rot.”

“Gasp!” we gasped – we were now on tenterhooks, and our taut nerves were fraying fast.

“There had been a murder.” she lowered her voice to a whisper, “The mistress of the house was found… dead!”

“Oh, no!” we were sadly upset at this development.

“Strichnine! Cyanide! Stabbed through the heart! Strangled!”

“Too much!” One soul from amongst us cried out.

“None of these methods were used.” a pause, “No, she died of intense boredom!”

TBC

Part 2 here.

“AgathaChristiethon, anybody?”

“AgathaChristiethon!”

Yesterday,

The Mysterious Affair at Styles

was the first

many followed

few bettered.

Today’s AgathaChristiethon

starts with A Pocketful Of Rye;

while the weather is appalling

It helps the day slip by.

Releasing Colin Dexter.

Releasing Colin Dexter.

Colin Dexter,

to my knowledge,

was not a great texter

when he went to college

(mostly due to the fact

that mobile phones they lacked)

but he did write a lot

not about Camelot

but crime a lot.

He lived near to Oxford

and had a local fish shop

that he frequently frequented,

near to Summertown.

Anyway,

he

is not the Colin Dexter

that I am talking about.

Colin Dexter (the Mouse)

visited our house late one night

(or early one morning)

courtesy of Rosie the Cat.

We rescued little Colin,

made sure he was well,

treated him as one of the family.

But, a wild creature

should be returned to the wild,

and so, today,

I released Colin Dexter

(and Ellis Peters –

who Rosie the Cat

had brought home for a game of Tag this morning)

back into the wild.

Fate thee well

and enjoy your lives

Colin and Ellis.

Tales from the Whom Household (A Work in Progress)

hash-tag dialogueforaplay

An Episode in the #dialogueforaplay series

Dr. P: Hello! I’m Doctor Proctor, Vector Inspector.

Maud: Really?

Dr. P: Yes. Don’t you believe me?

Maud: Well, it is a bit far-fetched.

Dr. P: I am an imminent physician!

Maud: Don’t you mean ’eminent?’

Dr. P: I might do. In time. Who is asking?

Maud: Whom?

Dr. P: Okay; ‘whom’ is asking?

Maud: No. I am Lady Whom, Lady Maud Whom. The last in a long line of Whoms.

Dr. P: Ah! Just the parsonage that I was looking for!

Maud: If you are looking for the Parsonage, it’s by the church – as is usual in these villages.

Dr. P: Sorry? I think you misunderstand, or misunderstood me. I was looking for Lady Whom.

Maud: You ‘was’ looking for her? Have you stopped looking for her now, young man?

Dr. P: I have. Seeing as how I has now found her whereabouts; which turned out to be hereabouts.

Maud: Or thereabouts!

Dr. P: Precisely! I was misdirected the wrong way by some youths on the traffic islands at the edge of the village.

Maud: Layabouts… on roundabouts.

Dr. P: In-deed!

Maud: And in fact, supposéd doctor.

Dr. P: I must speak with you.

Maud: Then we must stop this conversation immediately.

Dr. P: Or sooner.

Maud: Very well. (There is a short pause) About what would you speak to Lady Whom about?

Dr. P: Do you always speak of yourself in the third person?

Maud: Yes; I used to play cricket.

Dr. P: Ah! I see.

Narr: Though he clearly didn’t.

Dr. P: And who or ‘whom’ are you Sirrah?

Narr: I am the narrator to your conversation; I add a few details here and there to allow the listener (or the reader) to understand what is going on.

Dr. P: Why should they be akin to that knowledge when we so clearly are not?

Narr: It is the way of things in this sort of genre, Dr. Proctor.

Dr. P: Harrumph!

Maud: Yes. I can see that it may be a help to our audience; but, it is a bit unfair on us.

Narr: I have no free will in this, malady; my words have been written for me in advance.

Dr. P: What! Are we predestined to a destined destination?

Narr: Yes.

Maud: And we have to follow a path set out for us.

Narr: Yes.

Dr. P: Without any hope of ultimate salvation?

Narr: Yes.

Maud:

Marple, Jane Marple.

image

Geraldine McEwan

” St. Mary Mead, two-three-five?”
And off Jane goes
Another murder
In another hall
Or library,
Vicarage,
Or the like.

Her mind sorts out
The scarlet fish
From the Scooby-Doos
And we know that
In the end
All will be revealed.

And the Butler…?

Probably not.