Tag Archives: Cornwall

Hwegh, Hwegh, Hwegh, the number of the (Cornish Duck) Beast.

Hwegh, Hwegh, Hwegh, the number of the (Cornish Duck) Beast.

“Hwegh!” cried out the duck, as he stood upon the sedimentary shore of his village pond.

“Hwegh!” a second time. The other ducks looked up from their self-reflections to see what the fuss was all about, quizzical looks in their eyes.

“Hwegh!” a third time. The ducks looked around and about – there must be something wrong; but, no matter how hard they scanned, near and far, they could see nothing to raise any concerns.

“Hugh is just winding us up.” said Jemima to Daphne,”He can be a little devil sometimes.”

Daphne agreed, and soon the ducks had returned to their self-reflection.

Hugh gaggled like a goose (but quietly) to himself.

When in Cornwall… #1

When in Cornwall… #1

Useful Advice When Visiting the Duchy of Cornwall Nursery Garden Garden Centre Café, Lostwithiel: ‘

Pass the Duchy of Cornwall Leek and Parsnip Drizzle Cake on the Left-Hand Side.’

St. Op. (St. Optimus).

St. Op

St. Op, or St. Optimus, to be correct, is (and was) a little known village a few miles to the North-West of South-East Cornwall; or it may be a few miles to the South-East of North-West Cornwall (one of the two… possibly – other locations are available) and has been little known for over a thousand… years. Not mentioned in the Domesday Book, not Brett’s Peerage, Whittaker’s Almanac, any Copy of the Beano, Dandy or Bunty; St. Op boasts of no famous, curious, or interesting landmarks at all. To be truthful, people have passed through, by, and nowhere near to St. Op without even realising it was there – or caring.

St. Op does, however, have a steadily declining population, estimated at 71 in 1971 and 20 in 2020, although there was a drastic dearth of souls to be counted in the year 2000, but we think that the whole pop. of St. Op may have caught the deadly Millennium Bug, and been cocooned in a nearby hospital (53 miles away) in Truro… or Penzance, or not – whichever answer is likeliest.

Find St. Op on your Ordnance Survey map today, and you will be extremely lucky.

A Little bit of Kernewek is what I’ve got.

A Little bit of Cornish is what I’ve got.

A’gas dynnergh Kernow

‘Welcome to Cornwall!’

I say it a lot,

a little bit of Cornish, is what I’ve got.

‘Eus keus?’

‘Roev sos roev!’

phrases that I’ve learnt from song;

‘Onan hag oll!’ Let’s get along.

‘Nadelik Lowan!’

at ‘that’ time of the year

my pronunciations a little bad, I fear.

“Dydh da; duw genes!

as The Beatles sang,

of this ancient language, I shall get the hang.

A’gas dynnergh Kernow

‘Welcome to Cornwall!’

I say it a lot,

a little bit of Cornish, is what I’ve got.

As I was going to St. Ives…

As I was going to St. Ives…

(Singing)

As I was going to St. Ives….

Herman’s Friends: (Heave away, haul away)

I met a man with seven wives…

Herman’s Friends: (Heave always, haul away)

They were bound for South Australia.

A Sandford in Cornwall

A Sandford in Cornwall

There never was a Sandford in Cornwall,

I think that, maybe, I’m the first;

and if I am the first

I could also be best –

but, also, I could be worst…

the worst Sandford,

in the South West,

in Cornwall.

In the little Village of St. Well.

In the little Village of St. Well.

St. Well’s Well was, well, it just was – what more could be said about it?

This. It had always been there. Well, that is for just about as long as anybody knew of the village of St. Well, there had been a St. Well’s Well – it’s almost as if the village had been named after the well itself; although some did say that there had been a St. Well who had lived in the village a long, long time ago – he was rumoured to be a saint, and, some do say, a man of the church.

Not that any sane person would consider taking a drink from the St. Well’s Well, it was barely of a standard to be used for washing clean the narrow roads of Cornwall after the silage tractor had passed by.

But, as ancient monuments go, St. Well’s Well ticked all the boxes; barely accessible, situated well away from any parking, and a bit of a disappointment when you did eventually find somewhere to park, climb down to the hidden wellhead, and take the obligatory ‘selfie’.

At least St. Well had an ancient monument; some Cornish villages have to make do with a George VI postbox.