Tag Archives: #cluedo

A Passion for Plotting – a 10-minute #SoC write.

The crime scene was set,

the usual suspects had all RSVPd,

upon the dining table the petit fours were gathered in pairs,

at a side table the pears were floating in a strangely

poisonous concoction that defies description,

all else was as normal as a white elephant

stalling the Black London Cab that they had recently stolen.

Add in some detail.

Give everyone a motive – and an alibi.

Draw the chalk outline in expectation of the victim’s fall – similar to ‘pin-the-tail-upon-the-donkey’ and cut the telephone wires.

Sack the butler – it gives him more of a possibility of having done ‘it’.

Cable distant relatives, mentioning the huge inheritance, and the missing will.

Provide Cluedo ‘Detective Sheets’ for the guests, making sure that there is already a body in the library and sparkling cyanide on tap.

Sit back.

Enjoy.

Cluedomania

Cluedomania: The need to buy all Cluedo games

in charity shops

on a see/buy basis,

no matter the condition.

Cluedomaniac: A Cluedomaniac seeks

clean Detective Notes – as used ones often lie – often finding ones from the differing editions that have different rooms (Sauna, Outhouse, Communal Showers) and, therefore, never match the boards that have been found.

Cluedopurist: A Cluedopurist only seeks the original Cluedo game, abhors Miss Orchid (as a ‘modern’ abomination to the cast – “Bring back Mrs White!” they cried, then they cried, too.

Cluedoperfectionist: A Cluedoperfectionist varies from one to the other, personally seeking the best revolver, candlestick, length of rope, and character figurines. Let it be known that a piece of yellow coloured plastic in the shape of an obelisk is not Colonel Mustard!

Cluedo: I’ll give you a clue: I did it, in the Library, with the door locked from the inside with my loaded lead pipe.

Creating Poetry using Notes Microphone #3

Creating Poetry using Notes Microphone #3

(Note: when out walking I sometimes use the microphone on Notes to record my ideas – sometimes I can, later, decipher the garbled messages that I have dictated – sometimes. I do, however, often find that the garbled messages themselves are worthy of a looksie. G:) ).

The reference three

Was really seen

Without his front and tambourine

Panel mastic result

Was often flustered

Because he can cake because he couldn’t cut the cake I feel like a lovely day

Miss harlot against all odds was a harlot Miss Scarlett

But only in the kitchen with the candlestick loops

Mrs White only cooked at night only cooked at night in a witches coven by the power of moonlight pale moonlight

The Reverend Green

The Reverend Green

The Reverend Green

was last seen

upon Lincoln Green’s

Bowling Green.

A Little Bit Of Cluedo In The Night

A Little Bit Of Cluedo In The Night

Colonel Mustard

wasn’t flustered

when I accused him of… Murder!

He said:

“I was in the Kitchen

with Mrs. White –

she’ll give me an alibi, alright!”

But, Mrs. White, speaking all polite:

“No. Colonel Mustard wasn’t there, and nor was I –

I was in the Conservatory,

making a pie.”

This didn’t tally,

and I was up a blind alley

with no paddle.

“But, you did kill Doctor Black

with a Candlestick,

didn’t you Colonel?”

“Seeing as it’s Professor Plum,

who has dead become,

I cannot admit to Killing Black –

of his corpse we have a lack.”

I checked my notes;

Professor Plum, was dead and incredibly dumb – when asked, he said nothing.

Miss Scarlet, a veritable harlot,

going by the name of Charlotte,

confessed to being at the scene of the crime

another time

but not this one.

The Reverent Green

was seen

also upon this scene,

eating a tangerine.

But, his alibi, of him writing a sermon

at the time of the murder…

left him in the lurch

when he was asked to swear in church

upon the Good Book –

one look at his guilty expression

was all it took.

So, it was the Reverent Green

who killed Professor Plum

with a Candlestick

in the Library.

This time.

Case closed.

PS Mrs.Peacock was ruled out having been holidaying in the Algarve – lucky lady.

A Game Of Chance?

A Game Of Chance?

We start at Square 1 – default position for all pieces.

We throw a die.

In turn

1-6.

We move from square to square, space to space; occupied, unoccupied. We meet, greet, send opponents spiralling back 6 spaces. Move onwards and up.

Win second prize in a beauty contest: Castle the King. Decide that the Candlestick was the weapon of choice and cross the finishing line in the Green Horse.

“I’m Sorry, I Haven’t a Cluedo!”

“Or ‘The Murder in the Moor Rouge’ “

Was the Blue Whale

just another Red Herring?

Was it likely to have been it

in the Library with the candlestick?

I think not.

Then, who was the culprit?

What, was their weapon of choice,

or availability?

And where did the dirty deed occur?

But, most of all, what porpoise did it serve?

Tales from the Whom Household (A Work in Progress)

hash-tag dialogueforaplay

An Episode in the #dialogueforaplay series

Dr. P: Hello! I’m Doctor Proctor, Vector Inspector.

Maud: Really?

Dr. P: Yes. Don’t you believe me?

Maud: Well, it is a bit far-fetched.

Dr. P: I am an imminent physician!

Maud: Don’t you mean ’eminent?’

Dr. P: I might do. In time. Who is asking?

Maud: Whom?

Dr. P: Okay; ‘whom’ is asking?

Maud: No. I am Lady Whom, Lady Maud Whom. The last in a long line of Whoms.

Dr. P: Ah! Just the parsonage that I was looking for!

Maud: If you are looking for the Parsonage, it’s by the church – as is usual in these villages.

Dr. P: Sorry? I think you misunderstand, or misunderstood me. I was looking for Lady Whom.

Maud: You ‘was’ looking for her? Have you stopped looking for her now, young man?

Dr. P: I have. Seeing as how I has now found her whereabouts; which turned out to be hereabouts.

Maud: Or thereabouts!

Dr. P: Precisely! I was misdirected the wrong way by some youths on the traffic islands at the edge of the village.

Maud: Layabouts… on roundabouts.

Dr. P: In-deed!

Maud: And in fact, supposéd doctor.

Dr. P: I must speak with you.

Maud: Then we must stop this conversation immediately.

Dr. P: Or sooner.

Maud: Very well. (There is a short pause) About what would you speak to Lady Whom about?

Dr. P: Do you always speak of yourself in the third person?

Maud: Yes; I used to play cricket.

Dr. P: Ah! I see.

Narr: Though he clearly didn’t.

Dr. P: And who or ‘whom’ are you Sirrah?

Narr: I am the narrator to your conversation; I add a few details here and there to allow the listener (or the reader) to understand what is going on.

Dr. P: Why should they be akin to that knowledge when we so clearly are not?

Narr: It is the way of things in this sort of genre, Dr. Proctor.

Dr. P: Harrumph!

Maud: Yes. I can see that it may be a help to our audience; but, it is a bit unfair on us.

Narr: I have no free will in this, malady; my words have been written for me in advance.

Dr. P: What! Are we predestined to a destined destination?

Narr: Yes.

Maud: And we have to follow a path set out for us.

Narr: Yes.

Dr. P: Without any hope of ultimate salvation?

Narr: Yes.

Maud:

The Cluedo is in the title.

image

There is a solution
Amid the confusion
Of who, what, where and when
And even why…
Who committed the crime
So dastardly?
And concealed their involvement so craftily?
What weapon of choice did he or she decide upon as an apt instrument to use with evil intent?
Where did the dirty deed take place; and was that the location of choice?
When did this happen? When was the crime concocted?
Why did they do what they did to whom they did it and with what they did?
If we knew all the answers to these questions then confusion and illusion would be removed and all would become clear…
Is that point in time near?

(Sort of) A Sonnet to Cluedo

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(Sort of) A Sonnet to Cluedo

“How do I solve thee?
Let me count the ways.
Thou art more complex
And more intriguing
Than a maze inside a labyrinth
Within an enigma.
In fact, I think that you are
Mrs White in the Kitchen
With the Food Mixer!
What? No food mixer?
How strange. You’d think they’d
Have a food mixer in there – I have.
Though, I suppose it’s better for making cakes than corpses…
Although a corpse-cake
May be an idea for a Cluedo-themed party… that’s an idea.
Oh! Well, perhaps it was Mr Bun the Baker in the Bakery with the Stale Baguette?
What do you mean, you’re not playing anymore?
It’s your game and you’re going home!
Now, we’ll never know who did it…
With what… And to whom!”