Tag Archives: Cheese

The Cornish Cheesemen (the Cornish Men of Cheese)

The two Cornish (Kernewek) Cheesemen were hunched over the Cheeseboard, playing Cheese, or ‘Keus!’ as they called it.

Sixteen (hwetek) pieces of Cheese (Keus) each, and then let the game of Cheese (Keus!) commence.

Not sure of the rules, but who needs rules when you have that much Cheese (Keus!)

The Cheese-Dwellers

I live in a block of cheese,

With my sister Eloise,

she is very hard to please, and she’s trying.


Her favourite food is bread,

but it goes right to her head,

And she’s never ever the one, who is buying.


Eloise has dodgy knees,

they came in threes,

and knock loudly when she talks –

though, strangely enough, they are silent when she walks.

“We’re going on a Camembert Hunt!”

“We’re going on a Camembert Hunt!”

“We’re going on a Camembert Hunt!”


“It’s a type of cheese”

“You don’t say.”

“I do say.”

“It’s just s play on words.”


“And it’s ever so cheesy.”



You – a song about cheese.

You – a song about cheese

In C/G/D as usual, possibly minor chords as it is a sad song.

You, remind me of cheese

in fact, everything reminds me of cheese,

because, I’m hungry, Louise.

And, I know your name is Jane;

but, for a rhyme I went insane,

and hunger is a tease

when all you can think about is…

cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese

cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese,


Cheesy Socks

Cheesy Socks

Are cheesy socks

a thing to you?

When removing them

do you go ‘phewwwwww?’

Does one sock smell

of ripe Emmental;

and the other of Stilton or worse?

Would a gas-mask be useful

In dealing with a pair;

whilst, on standby,

a recovery nurse.

The aroma so heady

of a stinky sock,

will leave you unsteady

and a nostril unblock;

if you find you’ve a pair

that reek of Boursin de Pied

it’s best that you incinerate them

for a year and a day.

Ooze Cheese is it Anyway?


Me: This is ‘Ooze Cheese.’

You: Whose cheese is it?

Me: Yes, that’s right.

You: Sorry. No; whose is it?

Me: Yes.

You: No. What I’m asking is ‘Whose. Cheese. Is. It?.’

Me: And what I was saying was: ‘It’s. Ooze. Cheese!.’

Narrator: And so it went on; neither party comprehending what the other meant; until both inevitably collapsed into a sea of incapability…

… And the Ooze Cheese…

… Slowly oozed away…

… Until…

… It was no more.