She wore a blue sombrero,
and walked a cardboard cat –
what do you think of that?
By the Book (sic)
Bardly Writ
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The cat amongst the pigeons
“What am I doing here?” asked the cat of itself.
“You’re supposed to chase us!” said one of the fifty three pigeons. “But, we aren’t afraid of you.”
“Safety in numbers?” asked the cat.
“No, it’s not that…” said another pigeon. “it’s just that we are all just fictional beings and don’t have to conform to stereotypes.”
“So, where does that leave me?” enquired the cat, with more than a trace of nervousness in its voice.
“I think we’re going to make you our mascot.” said the first pigeon that had spoken. “Then we are going to take over Parliament and improve our lot.”
“Your ‘lot’ of what?” asked the cat, a bit confused.
“Cats…” spoke a rather large and feathery pigeon. “When put amongst the pigeons… can appear a trifle dumb if they aren’t busy chasing us.”
The other pigeons agreed that this was the case.
Then the pigeons, with their mascot leading the way, headed towards Parliament, to stage their coup.
‘Rescue’
Rosie Craddovk
saved a haddock,
kept it in her bath.
.
Laura Lee
rescued a flea,
a wompom, and a giraffe.
.
Richard Tippopotamus…
said he didn’t like animals.
.
Whether it’s wrong,
or whether it’s right,
less people adopt a black cat,
than adopt a white.
.
I’d just like to say,
‘The colour doesn’t matter,
just please rescue a poor cat today.’
My human …
My human …
gives me food.
My human ….
gives me water.
My human …
gives me love …
and protection …
and a place to stay …
and so much more.
If your human
doesn’t give you all these things …
then they darn well oughta!
The Parrot and the Cat
Parrot and Cat
sat still upon the mat,
that they ‘had’ been told to stay on ;
Parrot had grumbled about it,
Cat had just relaxed,
‘It is what it is.’ said the Cat,
and nonchalantly taxed herself not a bit.
The Parrot went over all the things he would say,
when released from the confines, they were;
he’d many a fine word,
that at odd times he had heard,
that would embarrass a mangy old cur.
.
However, Cat was soft,
and began to purr,
so Parrot lay down beside her;
and, soon, they were softly snoring,
happily, a thing upon which the both of them could concur.
The Cat’ and the Apostrophe
The Cat’ and the Apostrophe
was never going to end well.
It must be cool to be a cat
A lazy life,
A lazy life
without a job to do,
coming and going as one pleases;
no clothes to wear,
no worries to share,
and the surprise when one just sneezes;
.
pottering in the garden,
pottering in the garden,
lounging on the lawn,
tiny Tiger, preys the land
from dusk to early dawn.
‘How to worm a cat.’
“So, you have to worm your cat?
well, the best of luck with that!”
Thinking inside of the box
Cat would have liked to be thinking outside of the box for a change; thinking inside the box was not all that it had promised to be. But, the promise of a cardboard box to a cat is a wondrous thing – ask any cat.
However, when tired of the box, it should be an easy option for a cat to leave the box, and seek a warm spot in the house.
Not, as has happened to me, to be securely sealed into the box for the sake of a hypothetical experiment.
Who said that people should have pets? And, who said that people who have pets should look after them?
I know it’s not my place to complain (but, I will) but, I do not think that Mr. Schrödinger should have been allowed to keep pets.
I think therefore I am. I have needs and a desire to roam freely. My well-being is ‘not’ being helped by my incarceration in a cardboard box – and I am now well fed up with it.
“What does a poet need?”
It is said that ‘some poets’
find inspiration in a bottle;
but, in my case,
I do not need the Demon drink;
I think
outside of the box,
like the canny fox
who declined a job offer
from Erwin Schrödinger,
and was pleased at that –
unlike Frisky the renamed cat.
Graeme Sandford 