Tag Archives: #Boat

Negger say ‘Raggit on a Goat!’

You know you want to;

gut it shouldn’t gee done;

your goat nay sink,

cacksize into the drink;

and all gecause

you said ‘Raggit’

on a goat.

My son, Noah.

My son, Noah,

is building a boat…

I wish he’d get a proper job,

to keep this family afloat.

.

My son Noah,

Is predicting some rain;

and he’s saving up for that rainy day,

he’s being such a pain.

.

And, now, he want’s a puppy –

in fact he’s wanting two.

He’s never wanted a pet before,

what is a parent to do.

.

And then he says he wants to go to sea,

to sail the ocean blue,

but we reckon he’ll be seasick,

before he’s left the quay.

.

Our son, Noah,

is building a boat,

and it’s gonna be a big one,

judging by the cheque that I just wrote.

A Bee and a Butterfly went to Sea.

A Bee and a Butterfly went to sea

in a dark blue sailing boat;

whilst on the sea,

they drank green tea,

and had no adventures to note.

.

But, on the way back,

the sky turned black,

the boat capsized and sank.

‘Oh, no!’ you cried, ‘They must have died!

Or what Saviour can we thank?’

.

However, the Bee and the Butterfly

did not die,

they simply flew away,

to sail again, upon glistening seas,

on some such other day .

Never say ‘Rabbi’ on a boat.

If you want

your plans

to stay afloat,

never say Rabbi

when upon a boat.

.

“Why?” you ask.

“Well…” I reply,

“It’s unlucky,

though I’m not sure why.

Maybe it’s because

if there is a Rabbi upon the craft

he’ll look at you

and think you’re daft;

and he might then throw you overboard

to swim with the fishes.

to meet your Lord

to wash

the final dishes.

The Cardboard Boat

“All aboard the Cardboard Boat!” they cried.

“But, will the Cardboard boat stay afloat,

when it sets off from the shore?” I asked.

They smiled at me, as I waved them off,

then frowned as the Cardboard Boat

took on water, then took on more,

and sank within fifty feet of the nearby shore.

“They waded back, with soggy eyes,

from tears or salt I could not surmise;

“We thought the Cardboard Boat would float,

but now we have to make a note,

to tell ourselves that Cardboard is no good,

and the next boat that we make

should be made of…

… blotting paper –

‘then’ we shall have a merry caper!”

The Tide Is Out (a la Blondie)

The Tide Is Out (a la Blondie)

The tide is out,

and I’m stuck in the mud;

my keel needs scraping,

it’s covered in crud;

the tide is out.

Never Say ‘Ribbit’ in a Boat

Never Say ‘Ribbit’ in a Boat

There is an old Cornish saying,

that I once heard an old Cornishman saying, and it is:

‘Never say ‘Ribbit’ in a boat;

or ‘Rabbit’ or ‘Robot’. ‘

Why?

Well, I know not;

but, I think it’s because

it’s a bad habit to have

and it will inhibit

those others

who inhabit

the boat in question –

perhaps it affects their digestion.

Hold on, my memory jogs…

… was it something to do with dogs?