Tag Archives: #Bear

Ashton on the Line (A Teddy Bear in Uncertain Situations).

“You’re a bear!”

“Obviously. Bears look like me, I look like a bear; the reason being… I am a bear.”

“But, you can talk!”

“As can you – fun isn’t it?”

“But, I’m ‘not’ a bear!”

“No, and that is your loss; there’s nothing much that I can do about your parentage, now that you’ve been born and raised by… humans!”

“But, you can talk!”

“Haven’t we established that? My, you are a weird one.”

“No. Well, yes; but, what I mean is… you are a talking bear.”

“We all talk.”

“In English?”

“Ah, I see where you are becoming confused. I am talking in ‘Bear’, you, on the other paw, are hearing in English. Life can be funny like that.”

“How… ?”

“And now you are talking in Native American, and I am hearing in Bear. Do you speak many languages?”

“A little of some, and not a lot of many.”

“Bon. Quelle jour est-il?”

“Um, Thursday, I think.”

“Figures.”

“Does it?”

“Oh, yes; I am a big fan of H2G2.”

“I quite like H2O.”

“I assumed you would. Do you travel this way often?”

“No. In fact, this is the first time I have been here.”

“And the last?”

“Sorry?”

“No apologies needed; but, it’s not good to meet a bear (albeit a talking one) in the woods, is it?”

“”No, I suppose not.”

There is a pause of some few seconds.

“Should I run?”

“Do you want to?”

“I feel that I must.”

“Okay, at least you could say that you made an effort to escape your fate.”

“To whom would I say that?”

“Oh I think you would have to have a soft, short conversation with yourself.”

“Right. Thanks.”

The traveller set of at a breakneck speed – which term gained considerable aptness as a twisted root is negotiated with all the elegance of a camel waterskiing.

“Oh, well, that’s a bit of a shame.” said Ashton the bear, returning to his perusal of the vegetation nearby.

Bear With

‘Bear With’

Bear with…

bear with…

bear with…

bear with…

bear with a sore head

was walking through the woods

one day,

when he (or she, or other)

decided that a nap

would be the thing

to take away the pain

from the bear’s brain.

The bear with…

the bear with…

bear with…

excuse me, it’s buffering…

the bear with…

a sore head

went into a deep sleep

and dreamt of berries,

and beers–

sorry, and bears,

other bears,

that he

(or she, or other)

had known.

When the bear with…

bear with…

bear… bear…

bear… withasoreheadwoke–

oops!

When. The. Bear. Awoke. It.

Told. A. Joke.

But, there was no one there

to laugh,

except a passing giraffe

that bore a passing resemblance to…

a wild (or just slightly livid) boar.

The giraffe did not laugh at the joke

until much later,

when the ‘G’ had worked out

the pun in the punch line.

Such is the way of comedy.

Prompt: Up In The Air / Bear

Up in the air

where

there isn’t a bear;

Is where I want to be;

not down on the ground

where bears can be found –

and, possibly,

one that’s been angered

by a bee.

“There’s a Bear in My Pyjamas!” – a song.

“There’s a Bear in My Pyjamas!” – a song.

*Please sing this – if you only read it you will not get the full effect*

There’s a bear in my pyjamas,

don’t know what he’s doing there.

There’s a bear in my pyjamas

least he’s not entirely bare;

he is wearing my pyjamas

so there’s a modicum of decency there.

There’s a bear with…

bear with…

bear with…

a bear with out a care.

The Pursuit of Bears

The pursuit of the hirsute

Is often scary

Paths crossed

The scent lost

And then you meet the bear;

He is not happy:

Unbearably so.

And you know

That the end

Is possibly nigh…

You don’t stop

To say “Hi!”

But, “Bye!” You call

As you stumble and fall

Away;

Hopefully to live

To search again

Another day.